Crying and shaking

[somethingisnotquiteright]

Do people really cry and shake simultaneously?
I can't recall a time ever in my life (and there have been some rather hairy moments, including being SA) that I have ever been crying and shaking. I cry when I'm upset and I shake when I'm f*cking cold or have low blood sugar. Never have I cried and shook at the same time.

To all those people who are 'crying and shaking', are you actually crying and shaking?

I have been known to spit out a drink from laughing- not at something on mumsnet though.

My ds sobs and shakes at the same time when he has a meltdown (asd+adhd).

The whole tone of your opening post was clearly taking the piss out of people who say this is happening to them. And now you’re trying to backtrack. I’m doubting very much the list of traumas you’ve used to try and justify your way of thinking has even happened. And at the same time you’re doubling down by saying crying can’t happen at the same time as experiencing a fight or flight event, which it can. It’s even more common to burst into tears whilst shaking from shock after the event. Funnily enough exactly when someone might have come home after a horrible experience and be writing about it on mn for support and advice and describing how they’re crying and shaking. But there’s nasty idiots like you mocking them

Yes after I got home after a bad car crash.

I think as adults we don't touch or are touched by people outside our close family and friends circle. If you have one of course.

If you don't or if you're on your own a hand hold is very comforting without being too intrusive.

It’s like a delayed response isn’t it? My horrible thing happened at 2am and when I got up to go to work the next day and got into the shower at 7am I totally cracked up (for want of a better term). I could lay in bed with my mind racing, but when I got out of bed to get on with my day I just couldn’t. I just couldn’t, my body just took over all the pain my brain was feeling.

Thanks. It is awful. Even friends tell me that I should not be reacting in such a way, but I can't help it.
I am glad someone out there understands.

MY DP is autistic, and has meltdowns. He also shakes and goes bright red. It is horrid to see. He has to get to a safe space then, where he can try to self regulate and wait it out. The the rest of his day is a write off.

I cried and shook when my son died, I shook and threw up when my daughter died, I know someone who gets fits of giggles when something traumatic happens.

It's involuntary. When you're in shock you can't help how you react.

Your way isn't better, and it's not hard to understand that people are different.

I have a friend who vomits when she is upset- not in an attention seeking run to the loo and lock herself in until you make a fuss way, just suddenly and quietly vomits- bad news, row, awkward conversation, work mistake etc- she will be in the middle of doing the thing then suddenly vomit, while not even seeming to be overly emotional.

Oh darling, it is so beyond your control. I’m having counselling which helps a bit but doesn’t stop it happening altogether. It’s honestly the worst, it makes you feel so helpless. In a previous job the Chief Exec invited me out to drinks with the directors and I thought: “Oh wow, this is good!” I popped along, they were pouring drinks and suddenly my left hand felt like it wasn’t part of my body anymore. I spent the evening drinking from a non-stemmed glass with both hands like a sippy cup. I told them I had injured my wrist… but it is like the bottom falls out of your world for a bit and you have no control and your limb can give way at any minute. It is getting better over time though. I have so much sympathy for you. It’s the one situation where mind over matter doesn’t work, because physically your body is on one level and your brain on another.

Yes, my ds is the same- enormous physical stress in a meltdown as well as emotional and then exhaustion so he has to just lie down and that’s it for the rest of the day.

Yes when I had a panic attack, struggled to breathe as well. In response to a phobia. I was trembling for (what felt like) a really long time (maybe half an hour).

I have but as people have said stress response.

I have this stupid reaction to opening up and office I work at. You have 20 seconds to do multiple actions or you set the alarm off. Every time I do it I am shaking uncontrollably.

I cry when frustrated and shake as I try to hold it in.

Hormones are a b*ch

Lucky me?

Have you read any of my other posts?
I have been through some shit.

I see so many times on here posters saying how they're crying and shaking. I'm genuinely curious as to how many are actually as opposed to those who are saying it for effect. The way the term is overused on here made me wonder jos many people genuinely had this reaction/response.

C|N>K

Means
Coffee
Piped through nose
Sent to keyboard

C is coffee
n is nose
K is keyboard
| is the pipe symbol (ie send the previous thing to)
> is redirect output to keyboard

The examples people are giving here are pretty serious to be fair. Clearly it happens to some people in extreme trauma & not others. That's not a judgement or competition on whose trauma is worse it's just different responses & something people don't have a choice in.

Exactly, I don’t want to share my trauma and believe you me I used to think I handled stress like a total boss and went through a fair amount of it in my teens with family suicides.

But this one thing that happened made me not know my own body at all. It took over in a major stress response, it was five years ago and I still struggle at times. Someone earlier mentioned their friend throwing up, I never used to throw up, now I do it not quite on the regular but when work is hard I have to go to loo because the urge to be sick is overwhelming. It all stems from one incident, as does the limb weakness. I’m not physically or mentally frail, I just has a shit thing happen that totally ‘reset’ my body (for want of a better word and not in a positive way). I just hope I can get back to who I was. I still work, on the outside I look the same, but I am afraid now.

After a car accident - I was crying as I was in pain, and shaking as I was in shock

Yes, it is possible but I think the expression is overused.

I had this multiple times over a month long period when I thought I was going to lose my child (and was told to expect this). It was a trauma response and not something I think would be possible to fake or mistaken for something else.

When I'm very upset/in the middle of a traumatic situation I tend to shake rather than cry, so can imagine that someone might do both

I would think extreme trauma can make someone cry and shake simultaneously.
Always lots of crying and shaking on social media, usually when someone has had their lip fillers botched or their turkey teeth fell out 😉

OP I think some posters feel you are 'mocking' because of the apparent tone of your OP. It does appear to be taking the piss out of those who have had a different trauma response to you. That's not what you intended, it's perhaps just poorly worded.

I cry at anything remotely sad or happy. I'm very emotional.
I hate it, because it's really embarrassing.
My best friend gave me some lovely news earlier about her old neighbour who I've met briefly, about 13 years ago.
Cried like a bloody baby.

If I'm scared I shake, if I'm angry I cry.

I have a laugh like a burly docker complete with deeply unattractive snort. Definitely no tinkly laugh or spitting tea. If something gets me laughing hysterically I have proper big tears and get a stitch in my belly. And a bit of wee because 4 kids, what can you do?

Seen it happen to myself and others at funerals. It happens due to shock.

Yes they can. My daughter saw a rat in her garden and I ran into the living room crying and shaking because I have a phobia of them.