Child wants to change name

[time2changeCharlieBrown]

My son is 7 and wants to change his name! Forename
hes one of two in the same class and to make matters complicated they have the same surname too! Surname is quite common but fore name is not the most popular but still relatively well known just not in any top 50 names
let’s say he’s Charlie Brown
they call them Charlie B and Charlie Brown but often they gat the same Charlie Brown it is confusing and often get items lists clubs etc mixed up
for example I’ll go collect him to find out he’s been sent to after school club even though he’s not signed up!
also I’ve received pictures and letters of the other Charlie Brown
there’s also other Charlie’s in the school

the other Charlie is also quite misbehaved and often into trouble
he broke a window and every one was talking about it, kids and parents and we had to keep on correcting
it also caused issues at beavers and cubs when signing him up as the other one is older and they said he has a space I had to point out the dob was different the child is different!

my son is now asking to be called Benjamin (the name we almost chose for him)
and he says Ben for short he knows no other Ben despite it being popular name.
he says it’s embarrassing when everyone looks at him in assembly or class especially when they are shouting Charlie Brown sit down be quiet and telling him off!

my son is quiet and reserved.

im kicking myself for not giving him a middle name on the birth certificate and we nearly used Benjamin, wish I’d have used Benjamin Charlie but alas too late! Shame certificate cannot be changed. As then he could have a choice of his name to choose. It seems wrong to change it if it can’t be officially changed.

my husband said no to change and he can be good Charlie other is naughty charlie

ive said I’m not sure as don’t see the point in changing it by deed poll as it seems pointless and complicated
but if we could change the birth certificate I probably would to Benjamin Charlie as he wants

so Aibu or (we my husband and I)
to say no to our 7 year old name change request??

(obviously names have been changed)

I don't see an issue with adding a middle name of his choosing by deed poll. Being Charlie Benjamin Smith, rather than just Charlie Smith. It gives him loads more options.

I've known loads of kids during my primary school teaching years, who have one name on the register, but are actually known as something completely different.

I'd work with him to find an alternative version of his current name.

Either shorter like Charles to Charlie. Or longer like Sam to Samuel. Or initials like Charlie Baker to CB. Or an alternative/unusual shortening like Liam for William.

I'd also give him a middle name.

What about him using a nickname? Something meaningful for him like Buddy or Sunny? As he hasn’t a middle name I’d be reluctant to change his actual name. The other Charlie Brown could leave the school tomorrow and he’s stuck with his new name.

But I do get it’s annoying. We knew two girls with the same names and they were called Big Emily and Small Emily. I mean, that’s a whole set of problems right there.

Let him change his preferred name to Ben at school. When he's older, if he still prefers Ben to the name you gave him then he can change it by deed poll.

I'd go into school and talk to them especially as it's putting them in breech of GDPR how do they propose it's solved.
Many people use a nick name

Where did I say school asked them to do this? If you read my replies I explained that the students asked for this as they have Russian sounding names and wanted a more English version to use with their friends.

If he genuinely dislikes his name then let him change it, but if it’s only a school issue then find a workaround. My dad went by a totally different name throughout his childhood because his official name was the same as his Dad, he went to his official name at uni by choice. I have a colleague who uses a totally different name than her given name. At one school I went to I was know by a random nickname with no relation to my name because somebody thought it suited me and it kind of stuck. My sister is known by at least three different names. Names are not set in stone!

Kids often switch to middle names at school - come across it a lot where there are multiple kids with same name in the same class. In fact when doing family trees we discovered that 60-70% of the grandparent’s generation had all gone by versions of their second/middle names.

Just add Benjamin as a second name. You can order a deed poll form on line for about £30, get it witnessed by anyone (neighbour, school secretary) and then just update his school that he’ll be known by his middle name. Same with GP. It has to be signed by both parents, but otherwise it’s very easy. Passport Office happily accepts the deed poll form too.

Done this for our child (for different reasons) but it was no bother at all.

You like the name he wants to change to.
He has valid reasons for not liking his name & its associations, and those aren't going to change anytime soon.
Why wouldn't you let him change?

I changed my name at age 7, and TBH if my parents hadn't been on board with it, it would have gotten into a battle of wills...

It's his name, and he's not less of a person because he's young. If he doesn't follow through and use that name all his life, so what? He can choose to change his official paperwork (or not) when he's an adult. There's no particular problem with being "known as" something else, that's really pretty common, and doesn't typically cause any issue at schools or clubs, whereas his given name is causing him problems.

Also... Everyone talks about deed poll to change names, but doing it by statutory declaration is quicker and easier, and essentially free. I have no idea whether it's possible for minors, but for adults, it's much simpler. Have a Google...

I'd use initials

If you want to go down the deed poll route then just add Benjamin in as a middle name so Charlie Benjamin Brown and then he can just be known by his middle name. I wouldn't legally change his forename. Considering this is only an issue in primary school, which is only for 6years out of an entire life, a very short time to be mildly inconvenienced by a name. You could risk him moving to secondary school, or the future workplace, and meeting another Ben brown and then what do you do? Keep issuing deed polls and new names? He might want to go back to being Charlie then.
However, the addition of a middle name does give more options and choice.

Names go in and out of fashion; I peaked at five called Alex in my form, but we got round it with (kindly) descriptors and the initial of their surname; I appreciate that in this case the surname is the same as well.
As other teachers have mentioned, some children will have a "school name" already, e.g. Sing Bun was Stanley, Wei Ling was Ruby. Children take this in their stride.
At one stage, we had two teachers on the payroll with the same name, but differentiated by checking that we were talking about Y1 Miss Jones or Y6 Miss Jones.

Why on earth would the school ask them to do this? That's awful!

Because Ukraine (and other countries) have a different alphabet and our computers quite literally cannot spell their names? It's quite simple really. The entire world does not use a qwerty keyboard

Does he have a middle name he can use?

My eldest has a double barrelled name. I call him by the second half. Always have done. His friends used to do the same. His dad calls him by the second half sometimes.and then sometimes the first half. He then decided at the begining of this school year he wanted to be called the first half only. So the teachers and friends where fine by that and changed books and trays accordingly. We asked at the end of the academic year for the start of the new year so as not too make things difficult and they where great. He just has to write all his name on SATs and GCSEs etc

But I still call him by the second half as do siblings as he said he likes it only we call him that.

It will only be confusing if you make it confusing.

I teach primary and it's not uncommon for children to have a preferred name which is different to the name on their birth certificate. This can be a shortened version, initials or as would be in your case, a completely different name. You could add the new name as a middle name. I've also got a family member who changed names in adulthood and it took a little getting used to but now we don't think about it. If it's upsetting for your son I would do it, but you'll need to get his dad on board first!

No, sorry. He is 7 and does not get to choose his name, When he has kids, he can choose their name.
He will not be in the same class/workplace as his name-twin forever.

I would add Benjamin as a middle name, it doesn't cost much to change.

I'd def pick a "new name" but work with what you've got.
Maybe use his initials quite common for boys and also men in the workplace.
So CB... or whatever.

Failing that use the imaginary middle name ben!

Also make sure they are going to different secondary schools!!!

Does he or the other have a distinctive interest or feature? Eg blonde Sam/footballer sam?

Why do people think choosing some NN or using surname or CB is better than Benjamin?

Op

Why not say they can call him Char?

if you tell us his actual name, we could suggest some nick names

I wouldn't agree to a name change for this reason.

What happens if he goes to secondary school and is one of three Bens in his class?

What if the other Charlie Brown moves to a different school next year?

Its not unheard of among my students for the first time they ever realise what their actual name is to be when they see it on a formal GCSE entry! I have had a Jon who didn't know he was Jonathon, and a Max who didn't know he was a Maximillian, and a Jo, who didn't know she was Joanna....

I would put Benjamin as his middle name by deed poll. He can then revert to it. Our son has a name from my nationality, its a really lovely name but he is fed up of spelling it so when he went to high school, he went by his middle name.