To think it’s hard for a middle class child to attend a working class school?

[emoliant]

I mean a predominantly working class state school in a deprived area like an ex mining town. Where the child is one of the only middle class ones and gets bullied for being different or posh.

It's hard being different at school and that's always been the case.

I was teased at my working class school because I didn't have the local accent ( even though I was born and raised there)

I had my parent's posher middle class accent as they never allowed me to developed the cockney/essex accent of my peers.

DH moved from Manchester to Essex as a 10 year old child and had his northern accent violently bullied out of him at secondary school.

We had to move my DD from her school due to bullying. She had been to a lovely middle class state primary school in our affluent little town but as she has a learning difficulty we decided to send her to a well regarded outstanding academy in the neighbouring town as it was known to be supportive of children who struggle academically. School had a deprived catchment area but had great results. It seemed to be a great choice.

We got DD in due to having priority to go to any school of our choosing. A few others from our town got in on sports ability. All of the kids who went there from our primary school ended up moving to other schools due to the bullying. They just couldn't fit in. It wasn't helped by the fact that our town is well known for being a bit posh and full of rich people.

She was teased for having an expensive back pack ( the hard wearing £80 fashionable one that all the kids in our home town had at the time ) We immediately bought her the £20 tote bag from New Look that was the "in" bag at her new school.

She was bullied and called "rich girl" just because she was spotted by some boys being dropped to school in our new car.

She made a friend who after being invited to our home went back and told everyone about our big posh house ( actually just a 1930's semi) so she was teased about that. It then seemed that the other girls felt she needed to be ostracised just for being from "posh town"

There was a big cultural difference between my parenting style and that of alot of the parents at the school and when I didn't allow DD to have the same freedoms that her friends had she was othered. Some of the things I wouldn't allow were for basic safeguarding reasons. County lines was a big thing around that area.

The bullying became too toxic and we moved her to a private school in the end ( there were other issues around the school's zero tolerance discipline policy too - it wasn't just because of the bullying)

I should have originally sent her to the local academy in our town but it didn't have the greatest reputation for SEN support. She would at least have fitted in socially.

Yep, this. I went to boarding school and was bullied there for not being posh enough. I was terrified when I then was pulled out and sent to the local comp…where I was treated with respect and made some wonderful lifelong friends.

Honestly, at primary school it only makes a difference if the parents make a big deal of it.

I teach at the primary in the next village along from ours. All very leafy and ‘middle class’ etc, until the catchments were adjusted to account for a small housing association estate being built in the next town. Our FSM percentage has increased a lot, and the school overall is now more mixed socioeconomically. Children are still children, they make friends with who they want to, play with who they want to etc.

Older DD5 is in reception at my school and loves her friend X’s flat because it’s all on one level and has two sets of bunk beds. She also loves her friend Y’s house because of all the fields they own and can play in. I don’t really care who she mixes with, so long as they’re decent human beings.

But ‘mixed socioeconomically’ is much easier because then no one class stands out. The real difficulty is for children who are the exception in an otherwise homogeneous school.

@emoliant are you sure you are middle class OP?? are you not just a wannabe?? most people are working class!

Accepting that a child can be bullied for not having the local accent, same style as everyone else etc isn’t the same as saying that children from the working class are unpleasant. It happens both ways, children just tend to pick on any differences. Several people have said here that they were picked on for being posh in one school then mocked for not being posh enough in another. If it develops into persistent bullying the school should deal with it, but often they don’t.

It was mostly quite gentle mocking to be fair. Met a lad now man I was at school with as an adult and when he heard what I was doing sighed and said “yes well you always were posh” 😀

It doesn't have to be persistent or particularly obvious bullying to be damaging to a child. Imagine spending the majority of your seven years of primary school with no close friends and no one really wanting to play with you. It's pretty horrible.

I went to the local inner city comprehensive. My parents were in the process of moving and had zero intentions of me going. Then they got divorced…

I won’t pretend I’m middle class but a rumour did start that my parents were millionaires because my dad was spotted carrying a brief case. My parents were considerably older than my peers and extremely pro education/extracurricular activities/making me ‘rounded’. I think their age/parenting style is what made me not fit in, I was only allowed one stud in each ear, natural hair, wasn’t allowed school uniform from Rev like everyone else or a drawstring bag…

I would keep my extra curricular activities on the down low as they were seen as really lame. I never did feel like I did fit in but I think my mum made sure I didn’t. In all honestly it’s something that’s always been on the top of my priorities to ensure my DC don’t go through the same.

But, I can slip into that inner city school girl in a second ‘Oi you starting?’ Or ‘You what?’ I can switch between my accents in a second - I honestly don’t know what my real accent is. I don’t feel like I put on either one. I do feel more rounded being able to get on with all walks of life and being grounded.

All kids are bullied to a certain extent

Always being alone when you have to find a partner for something <shudder>

You can be protected from a lot by having a best friend. It only takes one person to hang out with to mean you don’t stick out as a target. That’s one reason why some kids will be absolutely fine as a minority while others will be miserable.

Some children are better than others at being chameleons, whether as working class in a posh school or the other way round. My friend who was got at for not making sufficiently middle class style choices was not the only working class girl in the class and in fact the other was less well off (eg shared a bedroom) but the other was far better at blending in. But then why the hell should she have had to?

I haven’t been in this situation but I don’t think the kids will notice apart from maybe noticing if the MC kid goes on some fancy holidays. And that is unlikely to be a source of bullying. Should be fine.

It’s not holidays that’s the issue. It’s accent, clothes, academic interest and desire to study.

I know plenty of MC kids who are lazy tossers who know their parents will swoop in with tutoring and sort them out with good work experience via their connectionsI know plenty of WC kids who work extremely hard.

I was bullied in secondary school for being "posh" and "too clever" we were working class but my dad was from a very middle class home. I had older parents who were very strict on how we spoke, what we could watch on TV, how we dressed etc.
While I appreciate a lot of the values I was taught it was very hard being so differnt from my peers and as I grew into adulthood, I struggled to find where I fit in. Not quite middle class and not quite working class. I do find, though, that I am able to talk to pretty much anyone in any social situation.
Kids can be cruel about anything that is "different" so while my experience was tough others may be fine.

So what we’ve learned from this thread is:

-MC kids can’t be bullied
-Bullying isn’t really bullying if you’re MC
-If MC are bullied it’s because they’re “aren’t robust enough”
-MC people should ensure their kids are educated with other MC kids.
-If they can’t afford this they’re not MC but delusional
-MC should bully or beg their gps for school fees
-MC kids are “pissheads” and “lazy tossers”
-Bullying makes you a better person

You’ve missed out the fact that if middle class kids are bullied it’s their own fault for thinking they are better than everyone else/showing off about their fancy holidays.

No we have learnt that MC kids are brighter than WC kids. That WC kids are bullies. That WC parents don't give a toss about their kids education. That no WC family can ever live in a big house and have a comfortable lifestyle. That all MC kids are academic with a desire to study but WC kids just go to school to be disruptive and bully anyone with a different accent.

No WC kid ever goes on a fancy holiday either. It's Skeggy for the likes of them.

And that WC kids are a feral underclass who who will rip MC kids to shreds and use their bones as toothpicks

And this is why it is harder to be a very poor working class person in a very middle class school. Middle class snobbery is very real.

My own school was very diverse. The “cool” kids were definitely some of the richer kids but in particular the MC extroverts (or able to pretend to be). They were the kids I was most scared of.

And don't they just hate it when it's pointed out that some MC children are not as perfect as some seem to think they are. WC kids and parents on the other hand are fair game to be criticised.

I agree with this. The most popular boy in my school was middle class, good looking, great haircut, trendy coat, etc.
It is easier for middle class kids to be popular. The least popular kids tend to be the most visibly poor kids.

I mean if you have the negative views of working class people that some on here have posted then yes your child may be bullied in a working class school. Because children do repeat things their parents say. So if your child goes into school and says that poor people are thick, or my mum says poor people are thick and none of you have books in your houses, then yes your child will not get a good reception.
But its the old rule, you can't expect to be treated well if you treat others like thick oiks.

People here just about lost their minds when the MeToo hit secondary schools. Lots of girls in private schools talking anonymously about the sexual assaults and sexism in schools they were just expected to accept. And there were certain private schools that were mentioned again and again. Did parents believe them? Not really. There was post after post on here arguing that it was just as bad in state schools and it was a pure coincidence that certain private schools kept being mentioned on the website - even though any pupil could anonymously submit their own experience.