To think it’s not ‘cruel’ to take DD to the gym at 7.30am

[Eastie77Returns]

I attend an early gym class every Saturday morning. I leave the house around 7am.

I leave DS and DD at home with DP. He takes DS to football practice around 9am and DD tags along but she has become increasingly unhappy about having to go. I therefore gave her 2 other choices: come to the gym with with me or stay at home alone for 10/15 minutes as I’m home from the gym by 9.15-am latest. This morning I asked her what she wanted to do (I gave her the options earlier in the week so she had time to consider). She began complaining loudly saying none of the options were good ones and she just wanted me to stay at home with her. I explained that I was not prepared to miss my class and in the end she decided to come with me. As we were leaving DP began muttering that’s it’s unfair and cruel to drag her to a gym at the crack of dawn when Saturday morning should be her down time.

If it makes any difference, it’s a David Lloyd gym. DD is a member and she enjoyed a breakfast in the restaurant area and read a book while I did my class. She played with another girl in the play area and the two of them have signed up for a taster kids class so she was fine. But I’ve now received a text from my dad saying he’s heard (obviously from DP) from that “poor DD is being dragged to a gym on Saturdays” so she can stay with him on Friday evenings if she prefers. Obviously I would be expected to drop off and pick her up. I said no.

AIBU to think this is a load of fuss about absolutely nothing?

Aren't they amazing? The misogyny/martyrdom is strong on this thread. Opens your eyes as to why there's so much failure to launch in today's society.
Do not give up your gym class OP. She either comes with or stays at home for 15 mins. Or leave it to your beloved to find a solution.
What does he actually bring to the party @Eastie77Returns ? Cos I'm seeing nowt worthwhile at all.

would you want to be forced out of bed before you were fully rested every saturday so someone else can go to a gym class? I bet not

And that hasn't happened.

Absolutely - some of these posts are awful.

Opens your eyes as to why there's so much failure to launch in today's society.

This is so true. I admit to being stunned at some of the responses.

Some of the posts on here are truly bizarre.

She has not been forced out of bed early. She has chosen to get up early and go to the gym with her mum. Most 11 year olds would be more than happy to stay at home by themselves for much longer than 15 minutes and would have chosen this option.

Ditto!

Just stick to your guns OP, she either comes with you or has 15 minutes on her own.
David Lloyd is great for families.
My, now adult, DC, used to sometimes complain that they had to go there with me when I had a class and no childcare, but always had a great time and now they talk about how great it was!

Ridiculous, especially coming from someone with your double standards.

I don't think this has anything to do with gym class or football. This is all about the ongoing conflict between the OP and her DP. I'm nearly 1000% sure the OP's DP takes the bus so he can have time away from the OP.
I'm surprised there hasn't been an LTB yet.

Totally fine that she goes or has the option to stay home and only be alone for 15 minutes.
dont be made to feel bad for a 45 min exercise class!

Given some of these posts it’s no wonder kids grow up and are spoiled.

Stop wrapping you kids in cotton wool and get on with it.

cant believe people are trying to quote nspcc rules… absolutely ridiculous.

carry on as you were OP, you’re doing absolutely nothing wrong. It’s a good lesson in life to learn you don’t always get your own way and you need to just get on with it.

'Most 11 year olds would be more than happy to stay at home by themselves for much longer than 15 minutes and would have chosen this option.'

Kids are individuals. You can't presume because some would they all would.

Yes the op needs to work on building her dd's confidence so she's happy to be left but making her do it is not the way. Are you a parent?

Of course it’s not unreasonable. Your child has lots of options, I totally agree that it shouldn’t be you has to make the sacrifice. My kids were all coming home alone at 11 on the bus and into an empty house. My eldest was always a bit paranoid about getting burgled but he was fine. Middle child was an August baby so just 11 and home on bus and alone until 6pm. Thus is life, and sorry but at 11 they are old enough to be home alone so should your 11yr old choose not to do that then she knows her other options involve eating breakfast at the gym or tagging along to football.

The biggest issue is your DH, who sounds like a complete dick. I’d be telling him if he feels so bad for poor DD who has to suffer the injustice of getting up at 7am then he can get in the car and drive son to football and save her needing to go to the class and wait in the cafe. I know he won’t, as men like him just expect the mum to be the one inconvenienced. I’d tell him I feel sorry for the son who has to get up early and go on a bus when dad can drive.

Are you???!

You don't seem to know a lot about it.

@Eastie77Returns - So DD had a nice breakfast, made a new friend and has planned a class at the gym. How could you be so heartless, you awful, awful woman? 😅

Why the hell would he do that?! The OP isn't even there at the time - she's in the bloody gym!!!

Seems to me that the OP is the one who should be avoiding her DP if anything - he's useless!

I said MOST not ALL. It's right there in the section you have quoted.

I also never suggested that she should be forced to stay. I stated that she was given a choice and that she chose to go to the gym. Please stop mis-quoting me and drawing erroneous conclusions.

Yes, I am a parent of 4 so have plenty of experience with different children. Most 11 year olds would be happy to stay in their own home alone for considerably more than 15 minutes.

OP You are not wrong, your daughter has been given choices. Why should you have to give up your class.
I think you husband is unreasonable not to drive if he can. To me he is the worst type of Father, only takes your son to football because he was told by a scout he shows alot of promise, he only does it because he feels it looks good on him. He would show no interest otherwise. I know as I used to run a boys football team and I have seen Father's just like him.
Do not under any circumstances give up your class its for your health and well being. Your daughter will get used to it. Honestly your husband is selfish.

So, every Saturday you, DP and DS all get to do your first choice activity and DD never gets hers
Dd is doing her activities throughout the week, the op isn't and is only doing one class.
If everyone did their first choice activity at the same time it would be chaos.

Well tough. This isn't free time. This is the OPs time and it's for her. Not the DD.
OP doesn't have to pacify the child. She's had 3 options. Her happiness doesn't have to a priority. She can just suck it up.

I know. There was a thread the other day by a woman with a useless manchild, a poster was on there telling her she just wasn't doing enough, her DH worked you see? He can't possibly be expected to do anything in the house or child related. The OP also worked full time mind but obvs only wimmins work. The poster telling her to just do more frequently posts about her own awful partner! I think there's a lot of 'well I've chosen to sacrifice my entire being to my partner and children so you should too' going on. They just go on the attack to any woman who dares do anything for herself because it's easier than facing their own reality.
Interesting really and luckily the OP on that thread and this one know it's bullshit.

There are lots of things you cant do when you are a parent, because you have to parent. That is what you signed up to

They’re not always though. Totally dependent on the family. My parents worked weekends all my life, but swapped childcare between them and we were all early risers. I’m sure I complained on occasion, as most children do, but I never really slept in and didn’t want or need to, even as a teenager. We were always up and out early and that will equally have been lots of others’ experience growing up, just as many as those who had a lie in. My two children won’t chill on weekends really, so we’ve always gone out (though when we have a young child, I do get a lie-in as I do a lot of getting up in the night). It’s a different normal to yours, but it’s still totally normal. An adult setting an example of exercising and prioritising something with a health benefit just isn’t an issue.