Neighbour made me feel awkward and uncomfortable

[Bethabooo]

I don't post often so I'm sorry if this is the wrong section. Basically I have a few guy mates also someone I'm dating. Neighbour basically come up to me and said a guy walked up your drive back down it and crossed the road got in his car and drove away. I thought this was nice thinking he is looking out for me. As this does sound like a odd thing to do. However he then started saying he didn't know what to think and started talking about brothels. I feel he is trying to say something about me. However now I feel awkward if i have a friend round as the bloke just sits in his van all day. I feel totally uncomfortable now and feel very awkward. I don't want any hassle. We haven't spoken before other then a quick hello. It also made me feel uncomfortable when he said a few times it's none of my f*ing business. This also made me feel uneasy. I feel later after this incident I had to go and explain myself to him. I just feel awkward and uncomfortable now in my own home. I'm due to see a mate on Tuesday and I'm dreading it because it's a guy and I'm worried sick now.

What a strange little man! I wonder why he sits in his van for all hours - perhaps his wife doesn't want him under her feet!

He certainly sounds like he has issues of some sort. I hope he didn't think that he was being funny because this was a tasteless, ill-considered joke if he did and would indicate that he has the social skills of a bucket of sick.

What are your other neighbours like? Can you talk to them? They might be able to fill you in on why he's such a twat.

Other neighbours are friendly but we just say hello how are you weather is nice type thing. I don't really like to speak to the neighbours I try and keep myself to myself. I have no idea why he is in his van. I only said hello to him before this happened which is why I think the brothel comment was weird actually the more I think about it I feel even the comment about the man on my drive was odd as well. He says it's none of his business so why is he actually saying something. I wouldn't mind him saying something if it was genuine concern but the brothel comments was just odd. X

You should simply tell him, there is no brothel and that his comments are offensive

What an odd thing to say very mean and judgemental,stay clear and live your life normally who cares .

Years ago, when my daughter was little, we lived alone. I have always had male friends and sometimes they or my brother would visit. The neighbours started gossiping that I was a sex worker. Tbh I was flattered they thought someone would pay me for sex! You're doing nothing wrong op.

First of all if you have male "mate" friends, can you not get a couple of them to go knock on this neighbour's door?

To be friendly. To be polite. To ask about this person your neighbour saw. But just to let your neighbour know you have male friends who are concerned about your safety.

Obviously the advantage of have male "mates" is that they should be there to help and support you.

Brilliant when you want to move house, or if you want to keep pervert neighbours at a distance.

If these mates aren't up for protecting you, maybe just go check with police.

Say this neighbour makes you feel uncomfortable. You're worried he's targetting and ask for advice.

Police are taking threats against women very seriously at the moment. Every woman.

My friend's 16 year old daughter got harrassed by a man walking home from school. Just asking her to come talk to him and stop talking on her phone. A police report was made online. The police visited their home. And both parents and 16 year old were told to dial 999, if any situation like it happened again.

But you need to widen this out, so interactions and talking about it, so it isn't just you and "pervert" neighbour. You're safer if your friends and/or the police also talk to him. Especially if the police have a word with him. Because he knows he'll be the no.1 suspect if anything happens to you.

Put a red light bulb in, give him something to really think about! Maybe he was enquiring...

Confronting a neighbour about this specific thing feels very much like he is hoping she is running a brothel and that he can get a free service (or many) for not telling the police.

I think he’s a pervert and got off on saying it to the OP.

You know what? I've always got on better with blokes and used to have loads of male friends.

A jealous housemate of mine (male) made some obnoxious remarks to me about all the men who came visiting me, and it was obvious that his imagination had run wild.

This got nasty when he made some comments along the lines if "everyone else has had her, why not you?" to one of these male friends. After six months of frienship this turned out to be the love of my life and we got together - AFTER I moved out.

This idea that an attractive woman is sleeping with every guy in her radius is misogynistic and harmful.

Creepy house housemate had been trying it on with me for a year behind his girlfriend's back. He made my name mud amongst all of our mutual friends with this kind of gossip, but I moved on and never looked back. Sad that some men are like this.

Yes I think some people think the worst if a woman has a lot of male mates. I wouldn't say I have a lot I have 5 good male mates and it's always the same friends who come to mine. Pretty rediclous if he is saying it's a brothel. If I was running a brothel I wouldn't be making much money with only 5 customers. X

Oh, I had something similar when I chucked the ex cocklodger out. Next door were discussing the gossip with another neighbour and said 'I don't know how she's affording that house by herself, she's just a factory girl, there are a lot of different men going round there these days'

1. the girls on the factory floor earned a good bit more than I did and are highly skilled. No "just' about it

2. my brother and the guys from work who helped me get rid of the abusive twat and his belongings you mean?

3. fuck off!!!!

I laughed and just said is that so? I would smile cheerily and wave every time I saw her. Really pissed her off.
She was the local curtain twitcher and talked about everybody.

Don't let what he said bother you. You and those who care about you know. It's none of his business.

I'd get a red light bulb for my front hall and let his imagination run riot 😂😂😂

When he said it's none of my f*ing business, you should have said , That's right, so mind your own business.

I would be tempted to ring the police and tell them about this weird neighbour who sits in his van all day watching your every move, and you're concerned that he might be some kind of stalker.

I'd also wave cheerily to him every time I entered or left the house.

Some men do the shoehorning inappropriate comments often sexual ones into conversations- how do others deal with this?

I’m a bit embarrassed to say I’m often so taken aback that I don’t say anything at the time and then I’m furious that they have gotten away with this sexualising of non sexualised spaces/conversations.

@Headstarttohappiness How about 'did you mean to sounds like a dirty old sex offender' ?
Prob best to ignore, then go home, make an effigy, etc