Neighbour made me feel awkward and uncomfortable

[Bethabooo]

I don't post often so I'm sorry if this is the wrong section. Basically I have a few guy mates also someone I'm dating. Neighbour basically come up to me and said a guy walked up your drive back down it and crossed the road got in his car and drove away. I thought this was nice thinking he is looking out for me. As this does sound like a odd thing to do. However he then started saying he didn't know what to think and started talking about brothels. I feel he is trying to say something about me. However now I feel awkward if i have a friend round as the bloke just sits in his van all day. I feel totally uncomfortable now and feel very awkward. I don't want any hassle. We haven't spoken before other then a quick hello. It also made me feel uncomfortable when he said a few times it's none of my f*ing business. This also made me feel uneasy. I feel later after this incident I had to go and explain myself to him. I just feel awkward and uncomfortable now in my own home. I'm due to see a mate on Tuesday and I'm dreading it because it's a guy and I'm worried sick now.

I don't know a lot about him to be honest. He just seems to spend a lot of time in the van but then saying that I can't say how long because I'm in the house a lot but everytime I've gone out he has been there. X

She’s probably not good with confrontation. I’m guessing the men she has friendships with and had a baby with are/were NICE men. I guess they didn’t make nasty insinuations. The whole crux of her opening post is that she’s concerned about being reported to a social worker.p, that would cause anxiety too, no?

Are you questioning the OPs words about her anxiety?

Do you think your neighbour has picked up on this, and is deliberately winding you up?

He sounds really unpleasant, but realistically he can't do anything to you.

Were you worried he was going to report you to SS and they'd take your child away?

No I'm just worried in general. I haven't done anything wrong so I don't see why they would do that. But sometimes false claims can get them involved. I don't know. Maybe I'm just over thinking. X

These people generally do pick up, and on, quiet, anxious people don’t they.

Please, please don't think that SS would pay any attention to spurious claims from weird old men. They have enough to do without that!

When he brought up the brothel I tried to explain it was my friends and we are decorating and then that's why he kept saying that. X

I suspect he is a bit of a creep and can pick up on your nervousness and anxiety

Just sounds like a creep trying to wind you up. Completely ignore the arsehole and try not to give it a second thought. Don’t engage with him at all.

Me and DP bought a spa day voucher off WoWcher that was an amazing deal. It was afternoon tea, a full body scrub then full body massage, scalp massage and hand and feet massage and facial. The treatments lasted for two and a half hours and we then had an hour in a thermal spa (hot tub) with Prosecco and the afternoon tea.

It was £65 for both of us for the full day and everything was great so we really couldn’t believe the price.

We did notice the women working hardly spoke any English and DP noticed a lot of men coming in and out from a different entrance we used.
We could see them come in and be taken into other treatment rooms when we were sat waiting before our massage and drinking herbal tea afterwards in a relaxation room and also when we were in the hot tub.

I was telling my friend who is a beatification and works near the spa all about our good deal and she explained it was a brothel. They used WOWcher to look like a legitimate spa.
The men visiting looked totally normal like it was the most natural thing to queue to see these young girls, it wasn’t completely obvious but we should have realised sooner what was going on but we are obviously very naive!
I remember DP commenting that there were a lot of stressed business men getting a massage because a lot were wearing suits 🤦🏼‍♀️.

This was a few years ago and thankfully it was closed down, I hope the women who were working there have gone on to better things.

He’s jumped to one hell of a conclusion. He is probably extremely nosy and judging everybody. Can you discuss with other neighbours how nosy he is and how they are friends of yours. Let him believe what he wants to believe but make sure others don’t. Hold your head high. Women are allowed male friends!

@Bethabooo If a man said that to me I’d say he is out of his tiny mind.

A legitimate brothel would probably be busy morning, noon and night .

This idiot is just being pathetic.
Take not the slightest bit of notice.

When I was in 3rd year at university we had an awful neighbour. I lived in a small house with 2 female friends. The neighbour accused us of being whores and running a brothel. We had the same 3 men round each time (our boyfriends). So it would be a pretty unprofitable brothel.

Wouldn't let this weirdo even show your bothered ignore him sad little man

oh dear how much drama on this thread. neighbour is just a nosy sod who should mind his own business...
not sure why everyone is jumping to conclusions that he's out spreading lies and slander.

I very much agree. I think he was fishing to see if he could get some paid entertainment from you. He thinks he's clocked a sex worker, probably because he wants some. The van sitting is concerning. I think he's been watching your house for a while, trying to work out if his misogynistic idea is correct.

He's a creepy bastard.

You really need to put him straight before it becomes more entrenched in his dirty little brain.

Be careful though. I smell potential predator in this interaction.

Why the hell do you think you need to go and explain, sheer bloody madness.

I agree. I don't know I suppose when he said that about the brothel my instinct was to say they are my friends. You are right though I shouldn't of felt that way. I felt very much put on the spot by him. X

You NEVER have to explain yourself to anyone, let alone some nosy wanker who lives next door. Fuck him. Dont explain as that will look even weirder. What helps in situations like this is to force people to describe exactly what they mean.

People like this get off on making snide comments that are intended to hurt without actually saying it. If he does it again, I would say "what do you mean brothel?" "are you implying I am running a brothel simply because someone who is male came to visit me- is that what you are stating? keep saying it until he either backs off or comes out with it. Forcing him to verbalise his nastiness works because people like this get off on being passive aggressive and not owning what they say. Making him say it out loud will make him sound utterly ridiculous.

Some men just can't cope with the idea that women can be friends with men. I remember when I was at uni, one of the lab techs making some wink-wink style comment about "all your men". He'd met my fiance, my brother and someone else on the same course. That was it, three men in two months, one of whom was a blood relative (and he knew this!) and it was worth a comment. Blegh.
You don't need to explain yourself to him more than you already have

Just ignore him.

You aren’t a prostitute . You don’t run a brothel, and you have not done anything wrong. He’s not your sort of person because he is creepy and rude. Be briskly polite if you have to talk to him. I’m a lot older and don’t have anxiety and I have had a creepy neighbour. It’s oppressive but you need to just get on with it.

Yes you right. I'll be polite but not allow him to get me in a conversation. That was the only time I've actually had a conversation with him other then a quick hello. X

I would also write down in as much detail what he said, what time it was etc etc just in case he says anything again, write it down while you remember it all including how you feel

I have a nosey neighbour like that, but across the road. He sits looking out the window. I got a large grand piano delivered once, and when it was being unloaded I could hear them calling to each other like jungle creatures (crossed with Ena Sharples from Coronation Street). I didn't realise there was more than one of them.

The piano was ancient and cheap -but they didn't know that. I'm sure they were speculating about where the money came from. The gossips tend to have minds like sewers. I wonder if they have me down as a drug dealer or a pimp. 🤔