To still use a car seat for my 10 year old?

[ExcitedButNervous0424]

My son has recently turned 10 and still uses a high backed booster.

When I mentioned this to my friend the other day, whose son is a few months younger than mine, she practically laughed and said she can’t believes I still put my 10 year old in a car seat.

My son is always asking why he still has to use one as apparently, to quote him: “none of my friends do” but it’s always been non-negotiable for me. I always thought he was exaggerating when he said that none of his friends use car seats anymore (not even backless boosters) but judging from my friend’s reaction its made me wonder whether my son is actually right.

My friend said to think about how much I must be embarrassing my son when he has to use a HBB when his friends don’t use anything, but surely car safety isn’t about just letting him do what his friends do?

What’s the norm? Because her reaction really surprised me.

DD stayed in her HBB until she reached 148cm and outgrew it at 10.5. She made some noises about her friends being out of car seats, but accepted it was safer.

Ds2 was over 135cm aged 9 and that's when I stopped insisting on car seats if giving his friends lifts locally.
He stayed in a hbb particularly on long/motorway journeys until he was almost 10.
I can only think of one of his friends aged 11 who still uses a seat but he's very small.

Thankfully he isn’t embarrassed and he understands why I use one for him.

I was just shocked at the attitude of my friend which is that she’d found him using one laughable, even though he still legally requires a car seat. It was just odd. 🤷‍♀️

As an aside these posts are making me realise just how tall my 7yo is at 137 when there are so many 10 year olds the same height. My younger one is tiny so could well see her hitting 12 before 135cm - she was still well in her toddler car seat when she started school. It does go to show though an age based system doesn’t really work as so much variation in size.

I never cared what the norm was or what anyone else did. I followed the law and safety. I never parented by committee and would never put someone else's opinion or decision about their children before mine.

It didn't offend me but I was highly entertained by the stealth boast.

This and he will stay on one too until he grows more

Why is it a stealth boast? I am not rich. I worked in PS. This is just how we prioritise spending our money. We don’t have flashy cars or an expensive house.

@Beddgelert I'm guessing you didn't just chuck him out the plane though... you used proper safety equipment, qualified instructors etc?
I also presume that you yourself use a seat belt in the car?

Are you going to feel differently about that in 3cms time though? When will you allow him out of a car seat?

Yes he was as safe as he could be. However, when I learnt how to snowboard no helmets in the 80’s!

Seatbelts are a worn 100% too.

Always wears a helmet too when he did quad biking even though most of his mates didn’t (private land).

So why are you saying that the OP shouldn't use a car seat with a child under the legal and safe limit?

My 10yo still uses a high-backed booster - he likes having the built-in cup holders! I'm glad as I think it's safer for him, even though he's tall enough to not need it.

Tell me when I said that?

I said OP should follow the law when she said her DS was 132 cm. I’m just highlighting as soon as he is 12 he could no longer use a car seat regardless of his height.

Why does that mean they don't have a car seat?
My two were in high back boosters at that age and could do the seat belt themselves. They just hopped in.

Taller one was 135cm by 8yrs and start of Y3
Shorter one was 135cm by 9yrs and midway Y4....she was one of smallest in her class and I don't think many were still under height limit or in car seats by Y5.

I think this is pretty key actually.

I don't even remember sitting in a car seat. I did have one as a toddler, there is a photo of me in it, but I can't remember using it, I was too little. Actually I did have a booster seat to use in my grandad's car but I remember thinking this was a bit OTT - my mum and dad didn't make me use one. (I probably should have as I was awfully travel sick).

I think there is a current generation of parents (grew up in the 90s) who have memories of themselves or younger siblings using car seats up to maybe early primary school and after that it seems too old. Throughout the 90s up to 2003 you only had to use car seats up to the age of 3, booster seats weren't required at all. Only very safety-conscious parents used them.

Contrast to the generation of parents (kids born late 90s/early 2000s) who were very aware of the longer booster seat laws (12 years/135cm) because they were publicised a lot around the time that they changed, but that was 21 years ago.

Once those children from 21 years ago start having children in the later primary school years, they will probably use car seats up to the legal guidelines because it will seem obvious for them to do it.

Using a child car seat or booster seat
Children must normally use a child car seat until they’re 12 years old or 135 centimetres tall, whichever comes first.

Children over 12 or more than 135cm tall must wear a seat belt.

Above from gov website. So they could be in a booster seat. It's so the seatbelt is in the right place on their body to give more protection.

I understand why you have him in a high back car seat.

My kids stayed in their car seats until they reached the required height, and the seats actually then became uncomfortable. Plenty of their friends didn’t bother though. It was non negotiable for me. Those rules have been made after extensive safety studies. Only an idiot would disregard them in order to look cool.

But they could be 12 years old and 130 cm!

What law states it’s illegal to use a car seat beyond the age of 12? You are being ridiculous.

I think you are right!

I was ready to say you were being unreasonable but actually, reading through this has been an education, so thanks everyone!

I've only just taken my 12 year old out of a high backed booster (he's short and just on the legal height limit). I've replaced with a normal booster as the seatbelt sits much better. He's never felt embarrassed and understand the safety aspects. It's a no brainer for me. His brother, 10 has also just finished with his - they're a similar height.

Could means possibility? Show me when I stated it was illegal? Why do you feel the need to call me names? Are you generally this nasty in real life? I believe what you called me is more a reflection of yourself.

It depends how the seat belt fits. My very tall (over 155cm) nearly 10
year old is abnormally leggy, so although very tall has a short torso that means belts in my car don't fit safely without a booster. In my mums car the seat belt sits correctly so no booster needed. She is more than happy to continue using the booster when necessary and will continue to do so until safe to go without. Among her friends I'd say around 50% are still using HBB.

It's about height. Not age..