To still use a car seat for my 10 year old?

[ExcitedButNervous0424]

My son has recently turned 10 and still uses a high backed booster.

When I mentioned this to my friend the other day, whose son is a few months younger than mine, she practically laughed and said she can’t believes I still put my 10 year old in a car seat.

My son is always asking why he still has to use one as apparently, to quote him: “none of my friends do” but it’s always been non-negotiable for me. I always thought he was exaggerating when he said that none of his friends use car seats anymore (not even backless boosters) but judging from my friend’s reaction its made me wonder whether my son is actually right.

My friend said to think about how much I must be embarrassing my son when he has to use a HBB when his friends don’t use anything, but surely car safety isn’t about just letting him do what his friends do?

What’s the norm? Because her reaction really surprised me.

I've told ds he will be staying in one until he is 35 😁. I am pretty sure he is 135cm or over now, but as he isn't asking to move, he is staying. I prefer the side and head impact protection. Realistically, it probably won't be long, but stopping at the bare minute doesn't feel right.

I have a year 5 child - she is 9 and I feel like I haven't seen a child her age in a car seat for years! Now I feel bad about this.

Yeah, your friends attitude surprises me for these days, hopefully she will learn something from you!

My 13 year old was in one till just before 11 she’s tiny though and isn’t much bigger than 135cm now!
to be honest she’s September born so a lot of her friends were younger and I’d say 50% still used them

I know which one I'd choose for my child.

But going by the logic of a PP I may as well let my preteen go to clubs and stay out all night as they will be doing that in a few years anyway...

Edited for typo.

All of mine were in HBB or Booster seats till they were in year 6.
My youngest moaned endlessly about it, but the seatbelts in my car sat too high on the neck for my liking so I didn’t care. It’s not my job to be cool or popular, I wanted them to be safe.

My nearly 12 year old (11 3/4 I guess) moved out of his HBB this week. I wouldn't listen to any moaning about car seats (so he didn't bother) just like I wouldn't listen to moaning about bike helmets or bring safe near water. Never even considered it tbh. He passed the legal limit (135cm) a couple of years ago - but he didn't pass the practical test of can you sit with your bum at the back of the seat, your feet on the floor and the seatbelt resting on your shoulder (not neck) and lap (not tummy) until last week so he stayed in 🤷‍♀️

I had Britax HBBs for my DDs and they went up to 150cm. I kept them in the HBBs until they outgrew them (DD1 at just over 12 and DD2 at 13 and 3/4. I was in a serious crash many years ago; I walked away but my physicist DF reckoned that the only reason was that I was at the centre of rotation of the car. DD2 has always fallen asleep in the car (she still does at 20) so the head wings on the HBB kept her from slumping over.
I bought a Skoda Karoq last autumn and DM complains that she feels very low down in the back of it.

150cm seems a bit excessive but I'm 155cm as a fully grown driving adult, there are adults shorter than me too so what do they do?

My eldest is nearly 9 and probably approaching the height limit but he will stay in the HBB until he's at least 135cm/complaining about it being uncomfortable.

It's also about strength so an adult or older child isn't going to get flung about as much as a child who hasn't started to gain the muscle you do in puberty.

In terms of safety, it's safe to keep using a HBB up until you can't adjust the back any more because the child is too tall. It's not safer to ditch it at 135cm. Think of it more like - it's reasonable to ditch it for occasional travel at 135cm. When a child is 134cm tall, it's considered so dangerous to go without one that it's actually illegal, so don't be too quick to drop it at 135cm, it doesn't get magically safe at that point. It's more discretionary because DC will all be slightly different sizes and so are the positions of seats, seatbelts etc in different cars. Some EU countries go with the blanket use until 150cm, the UK and some others went for a more discretionary, let's not penalise parents for making their own decision. But I do think most people don't really know what a booster seat does and so they just use the law as a guide or an age that seems about right.

The most important part is whether the lap belt crosses at their tummy or their hips. It should make contact directly on the pelvis. If this doesn't fit correctly, then they need a boost up or they are at higher risk of abdominal injuries (seatbelt syndrome) in a crash. A cushion from a garden or sofa chair is no good because it doesn't have the hooks that a booster cushion does, so it could just slide out from under them in a crash which will leave the belt loose. Likewise there are some very dodgy polystyrene boosters for sale online with fabric belt "hooks" which I wouldn't be keen on either.

If you want it for the side impact protection it's worth checking what brand it is and whether it has a good rating for head protection, as some of them do this very well but some of them are basically useless for this - especially some older models. And check the seat for damage if it's 6-7 years old as the headrests can get cracked and damaged fairly easily from DC climbing in and out.

Curtain airbags in the rear of the car do a reasonable job here as well and can work in conjunction with a high back or backless booster. However, they are designed to work at adult head height, which is another reason to keep a booster, even if just a backless one. Your car might have an NCAP rating where you can see the side impact protection in the back. This has been more of a focus on newer cars and car seats over the last 10-15 years as it was pretty dire previous to this. Another way to improve side impact protection is to sit in the middle seat in the back, then you're further away from any potential impact.

The main reason the legislation says that you can stop using one at age 12 is that they have to have a cut off age somewhere. But also, puberty makes your hips wider which tends to give a better belt fit anyway. So a tall child is not physically the same as an adult. But it is well known that seatbelts do not protect women, especially shorter women, or overweight adults or elderly people as well as they protect average sized men (and the average is fairly wide). I don't know how much this is a men-as-default problem or whether it's because men (especially young men, who are less likely to be overweight) are statistically more likely to get into more severe accidents in the first place.

I’ve never thought standard booster seats offer any kind of protection which is why I’ve always kept my son in his HBB.

I understand they make the child higher which makes the seatbelt fit better, but apart from that it doesn’t really do much in terms of preventing injury to the child.

DD is happy to stay in HBB mainly as its more comfortable in it, the seat belt sits better and she cam see out more. Even if not I'd keep her in it as long as possible.

My twins stayed in until end of year 6. None of their friends had them, even those shorter than them. Maybe it was easier because they were 2 not one but I said safety first. I think the last 6 months were compromised and went to hbb in big car as they went on the motorway etc in that car but booster cushions in the little car we only used for short journeys. It’s on height. I couldn’t understand why parents go for coolness over safety at the time.

What of an adult is under 135cm? Why are they any safer than a child under 135 cm.
I totally get your son’s embarrassment OP

This depends on the seat - some of them are stupidly miniscule, often the budget brands and the ones which are combinations (the "123" type seats, once hugely popular, now less so because ERF and spin features have pushed them out of favour). Also, if your DC carry their height in their body rather than their legs they will outgrow the backrest of the seat sooner than a long-legged child of similar overall height.

I also think this has improved - it used to be common for them to be shorter and there is more of a market demand for them to be taller these days. I had the same issue with my eldest and he also had to move to a booster cushion from about 8. Britax ones are very nice and tall and I think they have been ever since they stopped making backless boosters which was around the time they released that video, which was 2010 - ish?

It used to be the majority of HBBs on the market you could take the back off when the child got too tall. That was a totally standard, expected feature and so the backrests weren't that large because they were not expected to be used the entire time. This has now changed and is a rare feature, only seen on cheaper/old fashioned models. I think the ADAC (Which) test was instrumental in this as they started rating all seats for safety based on the worst test score they would get, so anything that converted to booster cushion got an automatic fail for side impact rating. It was part of the overall shift towards more focus on SIP about 10-15 years ago.

I think you're right OP and I couldn't care less what all the "cool mums" do.

I regularly see parents put even toddlers in cars without car seats! One school mum was driving away the other day in her Tesla with her 3 year old in the front seat with no car seat. Ridiculously dangerous and poor girl if they're involved in a collision.

There's a good chance that both you and your son will move on to other friends once in secondary. So whilst I wouldn't make a big deal of/highlight using the seat in front of people, I would still use it, safe in the knowledge that he's as safe as can be.

Because it’s about the growth/strength/maturity of bones and muscles that adults have that children don’t. That’s what makes children more susceptible to severe injury.

A smaller adult (under 135cm) will not have the same vulnerabilities as a child purely based on the fact they’re an adult.

And as I said previously, my son is not embarrassed.

You are doing the right thing and I don’t care if it doesn’t look cool, safety is more important! I gave the same attitude to cycle helmets and extended rear facing to age 6. I don’t understand why people are more concerned about image than safety.

100% with you OP. What's cool and what's best are often two different things. Same with those saying oh but you're going to deprive your teen of socialising if you don't give them a smart phone at 12.

My son is 11 next month but short for his age - 127 cm. He is still in HBB and I have no plans to ditch it. Apart from the safety aspect I think that it is more comfortable for him with the seat belt.

Yes, and it is not nice imagining how much that dummy would be thrown around the car without any seat at all. Scary. I'll be cramming dc into the hbb for as long as I can!

Same! I’m 157 and it is still uncomfortable when I sit in the back seat.

YANBU - my dd is 11 years old, 133cm and therefore still in her car seat (either hbb or booster seat depending upon the car). It would be illegal for me not to put her in a car seat!
I'd like to keep her in a car seat until she is nearer 150cm, but we do the majority of our driving abroad (we don't have a car at home) and we won't be able to check the car seat in for free once she turns 12 regardless of her height.

Aged 10 my dc used a booster because of their weight and height. If he is small then keep at it. If the belt sits right with a booster maybe try that he may find it more comfortable.