To still use a car seat for my 10 year old?

[ExcitedButNervous0424]

My son has recently turned 10 and still uses a high backed booster.

When I mentioned this to my friend the other day, whose son is a few months younger than mine, she practically laughed and said she can’t believes I still put my 10 year old in a car seat.

My son is always asking why he still has to use one as apparently, to quote him: “none of my friends do” but it’s always been non-negotiable for me. I always thought he was exaggerating when he said that none of his friends use car seats anymore (not even backless boosters) but judging from my friend’s reaction its made me wonder whether my son is actually right.

My friend said to think about how much I must be embarrassing my son when he has to use a HBB when his friends don’t use anything, but surely car safety isn’t about just letting him do what his friends do?

What’s the norm? Because her reaction really surprised me.

I’m surprised by the number of people who disregard these rule considering the UK rules are some of the least safe in Europe. My child is around 137 cm and will stay in her high back booster until she doesn’t fit or reaches 150 cm.

Some adults are 150 cm, my friend for one. I'll tell her she should be in a booster seat the next time I'm driving her anywhere lol.

If you had read the thread you will see it's not just about age, but also bone and ligament development for children. Adults have stronger bones than children. It's really not rocket science.

European countries all have the 150cm limit why ridicule parents who want their children to be safe. It's pathetic.

We stopped using a booster seat when my kids were over the required height - for the time when they were borderline we kept the high back booster for long/motorway journeys and tended to use a backless booster for small local trips as it was easier to move between cars, which was a good compromise.

A booster seat would be less embarrassing for him. A high back booster at 10 just no Poor kid

With my first son (the one my main post is about) I remember that moving him from his infant carrier to a harnessed FF seat was some kind of milestone 🙄 I have got photos of him in a FF seat when he was 10 months old and it horrifies me now when I look at them. I can’t believe how stupid I was but at the time I was making such a big fuss about how grown up my baby was now that he had his first “proper” car seat and I was feeling almost proud of it! I’m ashamed of myself when I see the photos.

When my friend’s child died (he was 7 years old) she made me promise to always, always keep my children as safe as possible in the car and she repeatedly told me how much she wished she had used a HBB - she felt guilty about her son’s death for a long time, always wondering if it could have been prevented if he was in a safer car seat.

After his death I went out and replaced my son’s booster seat with a HBB. I’d also had a second child by this point and I replaced his FF harnessed car seat with a RF one and he remained rear facing until he was about 5 years old.

I got so many negative comments from friends and family about my youngest son being rear facing for so long but I imagine they’d have felt differently about the importance of car safety if they’d ever had to sit through the funeral of a young child who died in a car accident.

When I moved my 5 year old from his RF seat to his HBB he looked so small and young in it and I did feel nervous about it for a few months. It’s crazy how putting my 5 year old FF in a HBB made me feel uneasy whereas with my first son I’d done it when he was 9 months old and hadn’t been bothered by it at all.

I know some people around me feel like I’m being over protective by using a HBB instead of just a normal booster seat but I don’t think I could ever forgive myself if he died or was seriously injured in a car crash because I’d given in and jeopardised his safety so that he and I would ‘fit in’ with what most of society do.

I remember one holiday to Spain where the rule is 150cm and we collected our rental car. The rental agency checked that we had our booster seat and a British family at the next counter was told they had to rent one as their child was not 150cm yet and they didn't bring one.

The mum was horrified that her child had to be in what she called a "baby seat", basically just a normal booster but the poor child would be traumatised.

You just tell your child that you have to follow the law, a booster seat is the same as following speed restrictions, not stealing, murdering or defraud on your taxes.

My 11 year old is on a booster seat at 140cm tall (but is too big now for the high back booster which we used until all our DC were around 135cm). She doesn’t like it but accepts it. It also means that the seat belt sits properly at her shoulder as otherwise it cuts right up under her neck in the wrong place. And she can’t see out the back of the car!
I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all. I think too many take their kids out of them too soon.

In Finland (which is an EU country) the recommendation is to use a seat until the child is 150cm tall. However the law cut off is 135cm, same as UK.

We are a short family and all my 3DC stayed in a HBB until they turned 12. The eldest two immediately regretted not being in it because they missed the headrest.

I'm constantly amazed at how many people mistake taking their kids out of car seats too young and too short as some kind of sign of maturity or 'coolness'. It's not, all it does is shows how stupid the parents are. 135cm and age 12 are the minimum height and age a child should stop using a HBB, not the maximum. It's very easy to find the correct guidance online so you can't blame ignorance.

If adults stopped having this attitude, children wouldn't pick up on it and it wouldn't be embarrassing would it?

I have a 10 year old. He’s still in the high back isofix seat in the back. He fits fine in it and find it comfier to fall asleep in! Once he outgrows it (within a year or so I reckon) then that’ll be no seat for him.

he’a over 135cm so he doesn’t use car seats in other people’s cars tho.

Totally agree. My dd is unaware that it's embarrassing as no one has told her it is. Her friends ask why she still uses it and she just says it's more comfortable with a better view.
A few decades ago people thought cycle helmets were embarrassing.

I'm 150 cm tall myself and as a driver in some cars I am more comfortable a cushion. I actually did purchase a specific booster for the purpose.

Our DGS stopped using them at 8 'cos he hit the 135cms target. Your DC's age doesn't matter; it's their height that does.

OP, you are doing the right thing. You can let your DS know that, as his parent, you are responsible for his safety and that over-rides any potential (and mis-placed) embarrassment he may have.

I am not sure I understand the logic to rush their kids into a backless / no booster early. I’d be interested to hear from
those that no longer use the booster seats: why and when did you make that decision? Presumably you already own the HBB so it doesn’t cost anything extra just to carry on using it?

The only downside I can see is that the booster does take up a bit more space in the car but, the other hand, HBBs are proven to be much safer for kids if they were ever unlucky enough to be in a car accident (as their bones/brain/organs etc before puberty are so much more vulnerable to damage).
I also get that it’s sometimes unhelpful to mollycoddle kids but this doesn’t seem to be one of those times: it’s not as though the kids can somehow choose to ‘toughen up’ their organs early.

I remember watching a couple of videos about the benefits of HBBs that really resonated with me/helped convince me. I can’t actually find those specific ones now (I will keep looking and post again if I find them) but found this short one instead which may still be helpful:

Our eight year old is 142cm and uses a high back booster, here all children must use some form of seat until they’re 135cm, but the advice is to continue use until 150cm. He’s a bit tall for his age, but he’s short in the body, so if he sits in the car without his booster the seat belt is across his neck. I mean yes some parents would happily have their child restrained via their neck in a car, but you don’t follow the lowst denominator.

Oh, same with the milestone thing!

My eldest is 21. Everyone used to pop to Halfords when they turned 9 months to get the forward facing seat. Looking back, it’s just horrendous. They were all just on booster seats with no backs from 3, I was the odd one out as I used a HBB until ds was 6 or 7.

My younger two are 10 and 3. Both rear facing until 4.
10 year old still in HBB.

I remember the milestone thing too. Kept dd rear facing linger than anyone else but that was still till about 18 months i think.
Id been told to wait till neck muscles strengthen and it’s better to have broken legs than broken neck!

DD2 was tiny for her age. So when she was 1yo, and her baby seat broke, she was still less than 9kg.
The fitters in Mothercare and Boots tried to say she needed a FF seat.
Halfords... they were the only ones who said no, not at her size. And recommended the Joie Stages, which was pretty touch the ERF seat you could buy on the high Street 10 years ago. She used that RFing to 2.5, and harnessed FF until 5, then as a HBB until 7yo (then inherited her sisters bigger HBB, bought in Germany so tall).

My son is 10 and over 135cm but we aim to do what Ireland does and a lot of Europe which is to keep him in a car seat til 150cm. The high backed seat offers so much more protection, it's a no brainer for me.

They should be in a HBB until the height or age 12 (that’s just a concession to teens! It’s still safer to be in a booster if you’re shorter).

Having had a car accident people are mad not to use a good quality seat until their child grows out of it. My child is 10 and it saved her from injury. Therefore it’s worth it.

My dd 9.5 just hit 125cm tall and moved from a high back booster to an isofix backless booster with seatbelt. She is the last of alm her friends to do do by quite a large margin but she is the smallest and guidelines say 125cm!

I reckon till 17 then they can have their own car so they can drive with their mates

Im always surprised when people claim they have DC over 135cm still fitting.

DS is 8 and 136cm tall and his head sticks up 2 inches above the HBB on the rare occasion we use it.