To still use a car seat for my 10 year old?

[ExcitedButNervous0424]

My son has recently turned 10 and still uses a high backed booster.

When I mentioned this to my friend the other day, whose son is a few months younger than mine, she practically laughed and said she can’t believes I still put my 10 year old in a car seat.

My son is always asking why he still has to use one as apparently, to quote him: “none of my friends do” but it’s always been non-negotiable for me. I always thought he was exaggerating when he said that none of his friends use car seats anymore (not even backless boosters) but judging from my friend’s reaction its made me wonder whether my son is actually right.

My friend said to think about how much I must be embarrassing my son when he has to use a HBB when his friends don’t use anything, but surely car safety isn’t about just letting him do what his friends do?

What’s the norm? Because her reaction really surprised me.

it is great to keep your child in a booster as long as they are willing. But if your older child is seriously mortified, begging you not to and at risk of social ostracism, don’t forget that mental health is also important.
the rate of teen suicide is far, far higher (close to 100 x) than the rate of death inside a car.

My DC are 6.5 & 8.5, they will stay in HBB car seats until the safe heights are passed. Do have booster seats for use in other cars (though got to get one HBB back into everyday use instead of a booster).
I explain to the DC about safety and they do accept it.
The HBB are a pain to move about but do not want to compromise safety.... especially with the driving I see on the roads!

I do the helmet thing. It's not because I think it's a risk riding in the garden at home, it's because my kids struggle with what they see as inconsistencies, so it's easier to just say bike = helmet rather than an argument about why they have to wear it today but didn't yesterday.

You do what you feel comfortable with.

my 3.5 year old is still rear-facing, none of my friends kids are (and most haven’t since about 18months) so I’m pretty sure my friends think I’m a bit overprotective but having done my research (and working as an A&E nurse) I’ve decided that this is what is right for us and he’ll be staying rear-facing until at least 5. I’m not sure how long he’ll stay in a HBB for but he’s short so likely 10+. It is what it is but at least I know he’s as safe as i possibly can make him and if anything was to happen I wouldn’t have any regrets.

I did NOT do a driving course at the age of 10 and passed my driving test at 17 first time. Definitely not an exclusive relationship!

OP I’d be reminding other parents of the LAW the next time they try and make you feel like you are doing something wrong by your own child. You are also responsible for any child in your car so if they are under 135cm they need to be in a booster. My son is 137 at the age of 7 but will be in his hbb until he physically can’t fit anymore ( I am also a ‘terrible’ rear facing til 25kg advocate 🤪).

Travelling in a car is the highest risk thing the majority of us do. My kids will travel the safest way they can.

I’ve been in a bad car accident, my eldest child was 7 at the time and her HBB kept her so safe, I was incredibly impressed with it. She came out of a car that had crashed and flipped upside down with not a bruise or a scratch on her. If she hadn’t been in one she’d have been thrown round like a rag doll.

it was a road we have driven on hundreds of times. I didn’t do anything wrong, couldn’t have predicted or prevented it. But the car seat did its job. Mine will be in them til they no longer fit.

I do see little kids at school just jumping in their parents cars with no car seats. I just don’t get it. It’s a no brainer. Use the car seat!!

Yes, if the DC are under 135cm, which is likely if they are six, then it's law that they must use a booster seat. High back or booster cushion, either is legal but they must use one of them.

As said I think we are in a slight blind spot where the parents of primary aged DC now are aware of the need for car seats up to early primary but then after this they assume no longer needed, because the publicity about the 135cm/12 years rule has gone away as it is assumed that everyone now knows about the law change, which happened 21 years ago. But if you are currently in your mid to late 30s or 40s and currently have primary aged DC, then the law may have totally passed you by, because it wouldn't have affected you at the time, why would you have been watching news reports about car seats for children? You were probably down the pub.

Adults who are in their 20s now would have been directly affected by that law as children and might even remember going back into a booster seat. So it will fix itself in about 5-10 years. But we could do with an awareness campaign.

BY LAW the OP's child must still use a car seat. A HBB offers protection to help keep her child ALIVE in the case of an accident. I've never heard of a 10yr old committing suicide due to being in a HBB. Don't compare teen suicide to this, it's a separate issue. The OP would be breaking the law by not ensuring her young son remains in his HBB. The OP could be prosecuted for possible child neglect or endangerment if he were to be seriously injured or killed if not in a HBB.

I seriously cannot believe people are suggesting the OP stops complying with the law and risking her son serious injury or death in a car accident because he may be "embarrassed", or "mortified", by sitting in life-saving equipment, something which has only been brought about by bullies mocking him.

People on this thread are horrifying me.

Is he still going to be using one at 11 in year 7?

Keep him in it. Teach him a valuable life lesson about ignoring peer pressure.

People are idiots. I saw a lady leaving nursery today with a 2 year old in a forward facing car seat in the front passenger seat 😥

People are very bad at assessing risk. I remember years ago having a chat with a nursery mum who was telling me all about the dangers of ‘chemicals’ in shampoo- who then proceeded to put her 3 year old in a backless booster in the front seat and drive off!

My tall just 9 is 145cm and in a HBB.

there is a lot of data showing 8-12 year olds should be on at least a booster.

Why wouldn't he? My eldest child is in one. UK car seat law is not as safe as EU law, I follow Swedish car seat safety guidance, so will continue to keep my children in HBB for as long as possible. My child (older than OP's), loves her HBB and will be in it for a long while yet.

@ReadingSoManyThreads I mean embarrassment ? Is op going to ask her year 7s friends mum to pick up his car seat if they're giving him a lift anywhere?

@ReadingSoManyThreads oooh ok so you can answer!!!

Do you ask the parents of your high school age child to pick up her car seat if they give her a lift?

@ShalommJackie I'm not understanding what you mean? I don't think the OP has mentioned her friend giving her son lifts?

Shouldn't we be keeping our DC's in car seats until they are 17 when we can suddenly change our attitudes and let them drive their own cars or ride with other 17 year old drivers.

My child has only had to be given a lift by my friend once, and she sat in my friend's child's HBB. My child's HBB is easily clicked into an ISOFIX, so I absolutely would transfer it to another car, if they needed a lift. Doesn't really happen though, other than the one time I said above.

You're in the right op, do what's safest for sure.
I really do not understand why some parents rush to the next stage, particularly younger children and rear facing. ERF seats exist and I see so many people desperate to get their tiny children forward facing. It may be legal but why wouldn't you do the safest thing possible for your child? I regularly see children at nursery much smaller than my son being put FF and it shocks me they're so cavalier with safety.

My daughter is big for her age 134 can and she still uses her and she will still be using hers for a few years . It’s nit only the high weight or legality of it . Their bones and ligaments are still maturing and in case of an accident they can get damaged . If they are on the seat they have no back or side protection either so the damage would be worse in a big impact .
keep your child safe don’t copy lazy parents

My middle child rear faced until 4 and half and didn’t do it longer because she went over the 25 kg weight limits at the time , youngest is 2 and half and will be the same or longer . I actually had a bad accident when my daughter was 10 months old and she was the only one that wasn’t injured . I can’t understand why people don’t try and keep their children safe

It's nothing to do with age a d everything to do with height and weigh for safety. How bizarre for your friend to measure your child against her on this.

YANBU to use a car seat. I’d probably use a booster seat at that age rather than a HBB but if your son doesn’t mind / isn’t embarrassed then there’s no issue and it’s keeping him safe.

My DD complains about being rear facing at almost 5. She sees all her friends forward facing. It’s really good that he doesn’t mind.

I know someone who stopped using any type of car seat when their DC was 3 which is just crazy.

My 10 year old is in a HBB. None of her friends are, but it’s vanishing rare she’s in a car with them.

She’s under 135cm.

My inlaws think is scandalous. I give no fucks, I’d rather she was safe.

Pathetic attempt to demean people who are following the law 🙄