To be completely shocked about someone I used to know

[EWAB]

When my youngest was at primary school I really liked this woman who had kids either side of mine.

She was in the PTA equivalent and was just a nice woman. There was no drama around her.

I remember having a day off and went into the local cafe, and she invited me to sit with her friends. She was funny, warm and witty.

Significantly, she had friends of all ethnicities and her best friend was Asian.

Everybody will relate to being busy but I think if it was a different time in my life or we had kids in same year we would have been mates.

I am absolutely shocked that she is a member of a right wing political party and has a presence in that party, utterly and completely shocked.

I know it’s not illegal but God.

All three of my siblings are Tories, I’m not someone who thinks everyone has to think like me but I am stunned.

Mumsnet hates this, but I have had a physical reaction to the news. I am just Gobsmacked and weirdly let down and I do know that’s a stupid, irrational thing to say.

There isn't anything far right about them. I was looking at all the party's policies in preparation for voting and I thought they sounded too wishy washy. I did vote for them in one category though, because the only alternatives were Labour, Conservative, Green and Libdems.

People vote for the policies that will benefit them. I know a lovely couple, both working in jobs that directly benefit people from poor or working class backgrounds. They vote Conservative because apparently Labour want to plunder their (massive) pensions.

To be honest, this is silly. You’ve had a visceral reaction to someone, who you admit is nice, voting Reform?
This is why the oldies never discussed their political perspectives back in the day.
Vote for the party you think would best serve your own interests and community.
If it makes you feel better, it’s highly unlikely they will win a GE anyway.

But the whole point is that some people are literally VOTING FOR FASCISM—thats what “far right party” means.

Had no idea who Reform were but even the fact they are pro-fracking is enough to put me off.....

OP it's not that weird to have a strong reaction to realising someone is a very different person to the person you thought they were.
As I get older I am less extreme about silo-ised thinking, very different from my 20s when I would not wanted to be friends with any Tories ever. I increasingly think it's important to form connections with people you agree with.
But there are lines. You can draw yours wherever you like, despite mockery on here.

I'd not be enamoured of someone with far right views either but your title made me expect child murder at least!

How do you define Fascism?

Which party do you mean?

Well one is a racist political party and the other is an anti-racist social movement. It's a false equivalence. Of course one is more decent than the other.

I’ve heard nothing but good things about Antifa too 🤣 Lovely bunch of chaps by all accounts 🤯

This.

Far right and far left are pretty equal in terms of nastiness and intolerance.

I have friends from both sides of the political spectrum including some who vote for Reform and some for the Green Party. I would say they are about the same in terms of extremism. You don’t have to agree with them. You might not invite them over at the same time though!

I got called a Fascist for putting my bins out on the wrong day

I feel completely the same but it's very, very difficult.

The Tories have behaved despicably in recent years. It's their self-serving behaviour and corruption that I really object to, as well as their complete lack of understanding of what some of the most vulnerable sections of our society have to deal with (disabled people, carers, etc).

But sometimes a single issue becomes so important that you have to prioritise this above everything else. And that might mean that a person votes against their natural inclinations.

My natural politics are centre left. I think Keir Starmer is a genuinely decent man who's not corrupted by greed and power. But I do think he's not been strong enough to stand up to some of the bonkers demands of those on the further left of the party. He's too worried about keeping all elements of the party happy to stay true to what he actually believes.

I think a PP made a good point. If someone was an ardent, flag-waving Tory that was completely on board with all their values, I would judge (if I'm being honest). Even more so for Reform. I don't think I'd have much in common with someone who believes that the Tories are acting with any shred of decency and integrity.

I wouldn't judge someone for voting for a particular party because a single issue was really important to them. I also wouldn't judge someone who votes for a party because they think they're the best of a bad bunch - unless the reason they're voting for them is racism, xenophobia etc.

I don't know how I'm going to vote yet but I know that women's safety, women's identity, and protecting women's rights is a hill I am prepared to die on.

The Tories are right wing (some would call them centre right, but the current ones are clearly on the right) so if you mean extreme right, why not say so?

What on earth are you talking about?

I'm not sure you have good and bad people. Just people who do good or bad things. Example- ordinary, upstanding members of the German community who became nazi ss executioners or catholic priests who abuse children. To hold the idea of good and bad people is very childish in my opinion, when you grow up you realise it's all very grey.

My opinion of the three people I mentioned is based on what I know of them, what I read about them and the things that they say. You may not believe that Farage, Braverman and Robinson are racist but I do. If you read my original post I make very clear that I think right wing views (and of course left wing ones too) are on a continuum. I have friends and a few family members who are/were Tories, we have differences of opinion but respect each other's perspective. However at the far end of the continuum are the likes of those I mentioned and I have nothing in common with them.

I have been called a fascist for knowing that women don't have penises.

I’m sorry you don’t understand simple political concepts 😢

Reform aren't Fascist, they are right wing but using terms like that stifles debate.

My dds boyfriends dad is a founding member of a far right political party in my country. I don't think he is a bad person per se, I think he is a bit dim and went down a conspiracy theory rabbit hole. His party is never going to get anywhere anyway so it's just a bunch of eejits who meet up to yap conspiracy bollocks at each other really.

I don't think you've understood my point.
I certainly wasn't arguing that you're obliged to vote Labour when they have shown that they do not value women. However, withholding your vote is one thing - actively voting for 'the other side' is quite another.

@SpidersAreShitheads and @lifeturnsonadime I agree with pretty much everything you both just said.and stand exactly where you are vote-wise.

It's not hard to see how someone who was uncertain and lost could vote for something because they seem a 'bit like' something they usually vote for but can't bring themselves to this time...

I Might have given the impression that I knew her less than I did, while we weren’t close friends I knew her for about six years. We volunteered over that time for our kids’ school.
I have nothing but praise for her. She never indulged in gossip and didn’t attract or cause any drama unlike a lot of others there.
Somebody asked whether I would have been shocked had she been on the far left. I probably would’ve been shocked but not as shocked. I would have imagined she was reasonably centre like me.
Anything that is not mainstream politically shocks me.
I knew I was going to get pasted on here for my visceral response and I can live with that but I couldn’t help it, I felt really ill when I realised what she is like.