To be completely shocked about someone I used to know

[EWAB]

When my youngest was at primary school I really liked this woman who had kids either side of mine.

She was in the PTA equivalent and was just a nice woman. There was no drama around her.

I remember having a day off and went into the local cafe, and she invited me to sit with her friends. She was funny, warm and witty.

Significantly, she had friends of all ethnicities and her best friend was Asian.

Everybody will relate to being busy but I think if it was a different time in my life or we had kids in same year we would have been mates.

I am absolutely shocked that she is a member of a right wing political party and has a presence in that party, utterly and completely shocked.

I know it’s not illegal but God.

All three of my siblings are Tories, I’m not someone who thinks everyone has to think like me but I am stunned.

Mumsnet hates this, but I have had a physical reaction to the news. I am just Gobsmacked and weirdly let down and I do know that’s a stupid, irrational thing to say.

Can I just ask the posters who can’t imagine an Asian person voting Right rather than Left if you’ve ever met anyone who isn’t white? 🤣

'these sort of people'?

I don’t think it’s meant derogatively. We do have to cut each other some slack on social media.

It defines the sort of person they are though.

Blimey what a lot of drama over nothing. I thought she was going to be a member of the KKK or something.

I don’t believe this post is real. Surely nobody would actually be so invested in the political views of some random person they once went for a coffee with.

I don't blame any woman actively voting to keep the Labour Party out of government in the hope that women's single sex spaces won't be lost. And in the hope that children won't continue to be medically harmed for a belief that they have been born wrong.

We are not obliged to vote for a party that doesn't recognise women as fully human. If the leader of the Labour Party can say that some women have penises then it means that he doesn't recognise us as distinct from males.

There is no compassion in a party that is prepared to treat 51% of the population in this way. Certainly no compassion for the most vulnerable women who will be harmed as a result of putting the wishes of males above the needs of females.

it is not for me to judge how anyone decides to vote.

I remain undecided. If Labour grow a back bone and stop bowing down to the trans activists then I might be able to vote for them.

OK......... Would you feel shocked and disturbed, and had a 'physical reaction' if she had been part of a far LEFT organisation @EWAB ?

Because they are as bad as the far right.

Two cheeks of the same arse. Intolerant and bigoted and often quite unpleasant.

BOTH sides are as bad as each other.

I don't think of myself as remotely right-wing but apparently because I know we can't change biological sex and I think marriage and family is generally a good idea, in some media and social circles I am a right-wing bigot. I also don't think Wikipedia is the place to look for an explanation of Reform as they are notoriously biased.

So rather than come to conclusions based on IRL positive experiences of a living breathing actual woman you would prefer to form an opinion based on stereotypes???

There are only a handful of political parties in the UK they are never going to represent the complexities and nuances of the average person. Plenty of people with apparently "politically correct" opinions are absolute tossers.

Please use your brain and some critical thinking. You could even approach her and have, you know, a conversation about her views and politics as she clearly is quite open.

yep Didn’t 17% vote reform yesterday?

The op will have conniptions

OP, surely this experience should challenge the prejudices you have about other political parties, rather than challenge your perception of this woman? The measure of a person is how they treat others, how they make you feel. If this lady is kind and inclusive as you say, then surely you have misunderstood something about ‘right wing’ political parties.

Don’t just stick with the ideas you already have and the things you think you know. Allow yourself to be changed by your experiences and the people you meet. Don’t diminish someone as “this type of person” or “that type of person” based on one thing about them.

Honestly I wouldn't care.
People who lean to the right will vote for reform if they wont vote conservative.
Hardly the end of the world is it given the state of the left.

No I’m the same. Invariably someone I’m getting to know will ring the racist bell and I’m thinking like ‘you’re not someone I’m going to get close to’. (And I’m sure people think that about me at times) It just kills it dead. It’s like connection Domestos :)

You really are dim, aren’t you?
Do you know who the deputy co- chairman is ( of course you don’t) stupid me 🤦🏼‍♀️
It’s Benn Habib. There’s a clue in the name. Oh sorry, that obviously wouldn’t mean anything to you.

Your explanation didn't make your previous comment sound any more reasonable.

Large amounts of 'them'? What them are you talking about? 'The standard has gone down'? Do you mean the standard of immigrants?

Blimey.

What if someone found out that their neighbours were paid up members of, say, BLM and defined them as 'not decent people'? Would that be OK for them to have a different opinion to you or does everyone have to sing from the same hymn sheet?

Not sure if @EWAB is still here but anecdotally...

I'm not white and had to distance myself from a close friend when it emerged she wasn't happy with Sunak as PM due to his skin colour.

Her best friend is the son of Indian immigrants and they had a row about it - but decided the friendship was more important.

I admire the sentiment and it was not an easy decision for me - but the idea that I'm not British enough to stand for a party (not that I plan to) due to my skin colour, bothered me too much to keep the friendship. No rows but I'm sure she knows why I distanced myself.

But I don't consider Reform to be problematic in that way. They've axed candidates who were openly racist and you never know who is a closet racist in any party.

It's complicated, I find. I might hold views some would find offensive.

I remember as a teen I was scared the BNP would try and send me to a country I'd never seen, where I didn't speak the language etc. I don't consider Reform to be like that at all.

I'd echo what others have said. As I have been reliably informed by my fellow guardian readers, that I am actually a right wing fascist nazi scumbag for believing in biological sex, those insults have somewhat lost their power over me. I would judge someone on how they treat people, not by my preconceptions about their political party of choice.

Btw I agree that freaking everything is referred to as far right now, it's mad.

People are very complex OP- they’re neither good nor bad.

Someone who supports a racist political party can also be really nice on the surface, do good things and also be good parents and friends.

life is very strange that way!

Haha you got a bit steam rollered didn't you. I see where you're coming from but it's hard to feel positively about some extreme far right peeps.

Your friend has probably landed in the place where it seems a lot of Britain have (based on results so far) - politically homeless. And she has plumped for something that spoke to her via a leaflet or a few clicks down a Reform rabbit hole.

My voting history is very chequered - I have voted Labour, Conservative and LIb dem in my time - as well as Green for locals - because I try to base my vote on whose policies most align with mine at the time of the election rather than being a 'lifelong' anything voter. I won't ever be voting Reform because their core policies are removed from my core beliefs - BUT I can understand how people are now desperately looking for a new and different option. People are skint/waiting for healthcare/out of work/turning the heating off and it doesn't take much to sway someone in that position with a few carefully chosen phrases and soundbites.

I really think it depends on whether she is an active member pushing some of their immigrant-hating rhetoric or just someone desperate for something new - a traditional Tory voter who can't bring herself to back Rishi and so has looked for an 'alternative'....

That is not logical. The OP’s example is of someone who clearly wasn’t 100% bad. Or did she turn 100% bad once the OP knew what her politics were? On the imaginary scale of good and bad people if people with definite political view points (regardless of those views) are all down at the bad end of the scale where do you put the non-political criminals and yourself?

I'd be shocked if someone I knew was part of eg Reform/Reclaim/Britain First etc.

I would definitely see them differently and distance myself from them.