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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To forcibly ask why you pulled out?

394 replies

MyPeachLion · 01/05/2024 19:25

I am (was!) a cash buyer of a 900k property. We were due to exchange next week. And complete after 2 weeks. We went 30k above asking and 20k above another bidder. No other bidder was a cash buyer. We are about 10 weeks into the sale.

My solicitor informs me this afternoon that the seller pulled out with NO reason given.

Can I turn up to the seller's house and ask the seller face to face why they pulled out? AIBU?

The estage agent did not even bother to inform me, despite the seller telling them last weekend that he was cancelling.

No chain on the seller's end - they have a new build they have already moved into! Seller moved out of their property early last week. We know because we visited the house for kitchen measurements last week!

I rang the EA this morning to get dates so I can get carpet quotes for next week and the EA was on board! Not once did he mention that the seller pulled out.

I am pissed off for not knowing why he pulled out, and for the EA to not inform me of it, and then proceed to play me like a fool by humouring my requests for carpet tradesmen to enter next week.
Were they meant to enter through the cat flap?

Again, is it unreasonable to just face this time-wasting seller and ask them why?

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 01/05/2024 19:28

They don't owe you an explanation.

But I'm sure your massive wad of cash will get you something soon.

poetryandwine · 01/05/2024 19:28

Sadly I vote YABU, OP, in that you can’t force people to tell you things. Obviously the sellers have behaved contemptibly

goldenretrievermum5 · 01/05/2024 19:28

Turning up to ‘face’ the sellers would be called harrasment and is an absolutely ridiculous idea. You are not entitled to any reasoning whatsoever, it’s their house and they decided not to sell it is all you need to know. YABVU

PossumintheHouse · 01/05/2024 19:31

If you do that, prepare to face a very frosty reception from said EA (even if it is deserved) when you express interest in another property.
They could've pulled out for a great many reasons. I'd put cash on it having something to do with a better offer, though. It's almost always about the money.

LadyKenya · 01/05/2024 19:31

It would seem that your budget may have given you a false sense of entitlement. If the EA is not forthcoming on a reason for them pulling out, then you have to accept that, as frustrating as it is.

Sandwichgen · 01/05/2024 19:31

i imagine they have reprehensible accepted a higher bid. Let’s hope they have chosen similarly morally-challenged people to sell to who will try and cut the price at the last minute or post survey

sprigatito · 01/05/2024 19:31

What on earth do you expect to achieve?! It's disappointing for you, but these people owe you nothing. Their reasons are none of your business.

IncompleteSenten · 01/05/2024 19:33

What would be the point?

nadine90 · 01/05/2024 19:34

It won’t change anything other than possibly damage your relationship with the EA. As frustrating as it is, I would leave it. Something else will come up

HumanRightsAreHumanRights · 01/05/2024 19:38

Nobody owes you an explanation, nothing they say is going to be something you want to hear, the world doesn't revolve around you and if you are going to 'forcibly' harass the owners then you are massively unreasonable.

Move on, it's just a house.
It's not like your budget is so small you won't be able to find another property.

HampdenRadius · 01/05/2024 19:38

I get why you’re pissed off but why bother? Why does knowing make a single ounce of difference?

Tooski · 01/05/2024 19:41

Yes and then MAKE them sell it to you.

CommeUneVacheEspagnole · 01/05/2024 19:41

Yes you would be unreasonable to actually do it but I 100% get why you want to! Really sorry you're going through this but there will be another house.

Ignore the bitchy posts so far. Just because you have loads of cash doesn't mean you should have this happen and be ok with it. Considering the average Mumsnet salary is a million pounds I'm shocked people even noticed Grin

StormingNorman · 01/05/2024 19:42

There seems to be some resentment towards you for buying an expensive house in cash. In my opinion, mazel for having that much cash to hand. You’ll never meet a hater who’s a step ahead of you 😂

If you were buying a 90k or 9m house my response would be the same - go and face the prick.

They are legally entitled to pull out of the deal, but after wasting your time and money you deserve an explanation. Even if it’s something shitty like the market’s warming up and they want to hold on for a better offer.

The seller and the EA are spineless little cunts hiding behind the skirts of their lawyer. Go round there and let them be accountable for their decision.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 01/05/2024 19:43

Perfectly obvious the OP is venting and many on this thread are unsympathetic because she has the good luck to be a cash buyer with a large budget. Tall poppy syndrome. I do feel sorry for her. She will have lost money over this - she will have paid out for the survey and she will have to pay her solicitor. Not a penny of it recoverable from the seller. The seller may have accepted a higher offer but the new buyers will be starting from scratch with survey and legal work so there's plenty of time for second thoughts, delays from trying to sell their own property, problems with the survey etc etc.

I hope you find something else soon, OP.

CommentNow · 01/05/2024 19:44

You would be mad. What would you even do with the information?

Oh, someone ib their family died? Offer a nice platitude and go away happy?

They changed their mind or were actively bad people? Give them an earful?

I get you're mad but in a civilised society you don't go banging on doors to give people an earful. They've pulled out. Thats the information you need.

goldenretrievermum5 · 01/05/2024 19:45

StormingNorman · 01/05/2024 19:42

There seems to be some resentment towards you for buying an expensive house in cash. In my opinion, mazel for having that much cash to hand. You’ll never meet a hater who’s a step ahead of you 😂

If you were buying a 90k or 9m house my response would be the same - go and face the prick.

They are legally entitled to pull out of the deal, but after wasting your time and money you deserve an explanation. Even if it’s something shitty like the market’s warming up and they want to hold on for a better offer.

The seller and the EA are spineless little cunts hiding behind the skirts of their lawyer. Go round there and let them be accountable for their decision.

Alarmingly entitled poster of the day award goes to! 🏆

Even in MN terms this is another level of batshit behaviour and thinking, get over yourself. Nobody is owed an explanation and in all likelihood the sellers have had a better offer

Echobelly · 01/05/2024 19:46

YANBU to ask, but unfortunately the system in England isn't reasonable and no one is under any obligation to tell you their reasons for pulling out, which sucks.

We had this with a buyer of our last place and it would have been helpful if they'd said why so we knew if there was something we could address that we might deal with for future buyers - but I knew that they didn't have any obligation to tell us and indeed we never found out. I figured in the end it was probably that they were first time buyers and maybe got carried away with the offer and then felt they'd overcommitted themselves.

Personally if I was pulling out of a sale I would always give the agents a reason so the owners knew and if they had something to address, they could deal with it.

Efh · 01/05/2024 19:48

Morally I think you are owed a brief explanation.

But realistically these days, nobody cares about anyone else.

WednesdayAllTheWay · 01/05/2024 19:49

You must be fuming. It's outrageous of them but I don't think turning up is a good idea at all. Ask the agent, is all you can do I think.

poetryandwine · 01/05/2024 19:52

The OP said in her initial post that the sellers have moved out already. They aren’t postponing for reasons of health, bereavement, their finances, etc.

I agree she should not confront them but considering this information it was a shitty thing for them to di, and the EA has been a coward

Starsandflowers · 01/05/2024 19:52

Yabu
It's really entitled and self centred. No one owes you selling their home to you! Sometimes these things happen. House buying can be stressful. I've had sales fall through... it's disappointing, but never in a million years would I aggressively demand someone explain why things had gone wrong on their end.
I'm very sure there must be some serious reason.. you don't pass up 900k in cash for no good reason. Just leave them alone. Somethings gone wrong for them. Really it's none of your business. Yeah you put time and effort in but that's just how these things go sometimes.. it doesn't always work out. They don't legally or morally owe you an explanation.. they may have had some personal tragedy/occurance... you can't force them to give you the personal details of their life just to make you feel less pissed off.

EmmaEmerald · 01/05/2024 19:53

I nearly pulled out of selling my old flat because I realised it was a terrible mistake to sell 🤦🏽‍♀️

Alas - I did not pull out.

If I had pulled out and they had confronted me, what would they have done with my answer? I had a nervous breakdown (not linked) while all this was going on. If someone had appeared on my doorstep it would have finished me.

If you really want to go and demand a pound of flesh, I can’t stop you. But hopefully at that price they have a decent security system. I also hope it’s not related to an illness or death or anything.

I’m guessing you didn’t get home buyers insurance? I’m also guessing you didn’t accumulate such a fabulous amount by being stupid. So why not just accept this is how the law stands now and campaign for a change in future?

TodaysNameIsBoring · 01/05/2024 19:54

How frustrating for you. I hope you haven't spent too much on the survey etc.

It's really shitty but I don't think an explanation makes any difference. If they don't have a good explanation then they could,just make one up. It could be health, divorce, job related. Who knows but it doesn't make any difference. They might have a really good reason but the end result is the same.

My daughter was buying a place and the seller dropped out the morning after my daughter had the survey done. The seller was a yummy mummy who changed her mind but could be bothered telling my daughter until the day after.

As it turned out it worked out in my daughter's interest as she bought somewhere much better.

ToxicChristmas · 01/05/2024 20:00

I'm sorry, that's absolutely shit and so frustrating.
Even if you went and banged on the door (which you shouldn't) you might not get an answer. Would the answer satisfy you anyway? Probably not.
There's also a good change the owner is going through some real shit. You don't pull out of a nearly complete cash sale on a whim. I'd assume that, take a deep breath and move on. You'll find somewhere else, this will be a memory and it will all be ok.
Best of luck with the new property search.