To forcibly ask why you pulled out?

[MyPeachLion]

I am (was!) a cash buyer of a 900k property. We were due to exchange next week. And complete after 2 weeks. We went 30k above asking and 20k above another bidder. No other bidder was a cash buyer. We are about 10 weeks into the sale.

My solicitor informs me this afternoon that the seller pulled out with NO reason given.

Can I turn up to the seller's house and ask the seller face to face why they pulled out? AIBU?

The estage agent did not even bother to inform me, despite the seller telling them last weekend that he was cancelling.

No chain on the seller's end - they have a new build they have already moved into! Seller moved out of their property early last week. We know because we visited the house for kitchen measurements last week!

I rang the EA this morning to get dates so I can get carpet quotes for next week and the EA was on board! Not once did he mention that the seller pulled out.

I am pissed off for not knowing why he pulled out, and for the EA to not inform me of it, and then proceed to play me like a fool by humouring my requests for carpet tradesmen to enter next week.
Were they meant to enter through the cat flap?

Again, is it unreasonable to just face this time-wasting seller and ask them why?

The nerve to think you have the right to forcibly make someone explain why they pulled out of selling their property. Turn up at their house? Are you mad? And why was it important for you to tell us the value of the property was 900k lol.

The Ea themselves may not have known yet. Once it goes to solicitors there's very little involvement for them and ice the seller tells the solicitors who then tell yours, it's really the seller who tell the EA.
But no of course you can't contact the seller.

How did you get £900k?

You have nearly a million pounds in cash. Honey. Get some perspective / this is not a problem.

This is awful for you, especially so close to completing. Have you sold your own house and need to find somewhere to live? I think it’s fine people saying ‘it’s only a house’ etc but you have probably invested a lot emotionally into it already. If it was me I would phone the estate agent and just say you know these things happen but you would really like to understand what their reasons were. They may or may not tell you but worth a try.

The usual Mumsnet righteousness about someone who has no doubt worked hard for their money

YABU to turn up and demand a reason from the seller - they could report you quite rightly for harassment. They may have any number of reasons but I do think there should be financial penalties for time wasters.

YANBU to be annoyed at the seller and also estate agent for lack of comms. You could also push estate agent to give a reason bearing in mind you are a cash buyer and valuable to them. You can always take your business elsewhere.

Never apologise for having money and I’d be fuming too.

No I don’t think you should go to the house and ask why the seller pulled out. If they wanted to pass that information on they would have done.

You could have been gazumped by a cash buyer offering more

@Giglebtink

"Went all baby reindeer’ - it’s going to be a thing! Even though the baby reindeer..."

SPOILER ALERT NEXT TIME, PLEASE. 🧐
Please 😊

I've nust re-read your OP more carefully and you say that the seller informed the EA "last weekend" that he was "cancelling". But this morning you were having a conversation with the EA about making an appointment for measuring up for carpets. That does sound annoying. Were you speaking to the same EA? Or is there a chance the news of the sale falling through hadn't reached everyone in the branch? To be fair it can be difficult to keep track of the exact stage of progress with every property for sale in a branch at all times. You could imagine someone just coming back from holiday and not having had an update meeting yet ... that sort of thing. Because, why would the EA want to waste their own time taking you for a visit to measure for carpets??

It does sound like it doesn’t it that there is some kind of resentment because it is an expensive house.Normally the thread in such circumstances would be full of comments saying that the system in England is very bad or what a bastard the seller is.

I think I’d have gone into the EA if possible to ask if there was a mix up/get my frustrations out at least. That must have been a horrible shock for you.

😆

What on earth do you mean by 'forcibly' OP? 🤔

I'm not surprised that you're angry and upset. Awful to be nearly three months into the purchase of a house you love, and having incurred costs. Even worse that you've been told in such a casual way, without any explanation.

Id want to confront them too but of course now you've calmed down you know that it wouldn't achieve anything. They are highly unlikely to respond how you want them too. Either they've got genuine reasons that will leave you feeling awful for confronting them, or they haven't and they'd be defensive.

Take it as a sign that you were overpaying or it wasn't the house for you. Find something better and be happy when it's back on the market in 12 months but sells for less.

I think they have an absolute cheek messing you about like this. Ring up the buyers and ask what's a going on. Even if something is going on in their lives it's no reason to treat folk in such a shitty contemptible way.

We pulled out of a sale and a purchase like that once.

dh was diagnosed with something pretty horrific, would have been having treatment when we moved, life was so up in the air and I was terrified.

I don’t think we have a reason, we only cared about our world shattering at that point.

The house purchasing system is so bad and destined to fall apart

Nobody has to commit to anything until
exchange so there is so much margin for being messed about and losing money

I would be fuming in your situation but sadly nothing you can do

You can't go and confront the sellers. But I would think your estate agent could and should have been a bit more proactive in giving some sort of explanation. I would imagine you have lashed out on a survey, removal van, even bits for the prospective new house at this point. And started to think about organising your life around your new address if there are kids schools involved. It's not as simple as the op has just lost an expensive house purchase, but it's fine as she is wealthy so it won't affect her, and I don't understand why so many posters are pretending it is.

Dh's ex wife did this to the buyers of their former marital home, the actual day before they were due to exchange (and two weeks before prospective completion). The buyers were moving from far away and had enrolled their small kids in schools etc. They had had the survey done which costs a grand or so and completed long stressful wrangles about works that needed doing etc. The ex wife just decided she wasn't moving as she hadn't bothered to find anywhere else she wanted to move to and was going to move back in with her mum until she did-and then they had a falling out and she decided mums house was too small for her anyway and that was that (it wasn't obvs and back to court it eventually went and she did end up having to move as she was essentially squatting in dh's 'half' of the house at that point). The buyers were devastated. They gave the estate agent a letter for the ex wife and a copy for dh in which they explained this-and how stressful it had all been. Dh's ex didn't bother to respond, but dh (whose fault it wasn't in any way at all) did, and just explained and apologised profusely. It probably didn't help them, or recoup they money they had spent to date but at least knowing what had happened might have made them feel better (even if it was bloody inexplicable in the first place). It doesn't matter the price of the house does it? It's the stress of it and the emotional investment.

YABU to bang on their door and to request an explanation.

However, there is an issue in the UK whereby sellers can pull out without good reason and face no consequences. If one offers, there are usually sunk costs: structural survey, mortgage related fees, etc., often buzzing through a chain in which others lose funds too. This happened to us many years ago.

There does need to be a mechanism and people who pull out with no good reason (they could insure for good reason) should be culpable for the costs of others.

I don’t think how much the house cost has anything to do with the stress involved in buying and selling houses, and I understand how @MyPeachLion feels. We were vendors, quite a number of years ago. We had several offers, and accepted one (not the highest) from an older couple who were cash buyers. We found a house we wanted, and were well into the process when they simply changed their minds.

They’d visited a couple of times, loved the property, then the estate agent said they’d pulled out. I was so angry, I know in retrospect it was a waste of emotion, but I also know if I behaved like that I’d have had the decency to say why. We couldn’t go ahead, had to put our house back on the market etc, etc. The good news was that we sold fairly easily, and ended up with a better house where we’ve lived ever since.

^Ha ha, love this 😂

^^ This. England has gone to shit. Most people are entitled, unpleasant, self-centred, greedy and rude.

No of course you can't just turn up on someone's doorstep and demand they explain themselves. A seller can pull out for any number of reasons, although it's frustrating for you, it might be personal.

Turning up at their house would be a very intimidating thing to do and it's not fair.

If you are desperate to know then a more appropriate way might be to email them - but don't expect a response - they don't owe you anything.