Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To forcibly ask why you pulled out?

394 replies

MyPeachLion · 01/05/2024 19:25

I am (was!) a cash buyer of a 900k property. We were due to exchange next week. And complete after 2 weeks. We went 30k above asking and 20k above another bidder. No other bidder was a cash buyer. We are about 10 weeks into the sale.

My solicitor informs me this afternoon that the seller pulled out with NO reason given.

Can I turn up to the seller's house and ask the seller face to face why they pulled out? AIBU?

The estage agent did not even bother to inform me, despite the seller telling them last weekend that he was cancelling.

No chain on the seller's end - they have a new build they have already moved into! Seller moved out of their property early last week. We know because we visited the house for kitchen measurements last week!

I rang the EA this morning to get dates so I can get carpet quotes for next week and the EA was on board! Not once did he mention that the seller pulled out.

I am pissed off for not knowing why he pulled out, and for the EA to not inform me of it, and then proceed to play me like a fool by humouring my requests for carpet tradesmen to enter next week.
Were they meant to enter through the cat flap?

Again, is it unreasonable to just face this time-wasting seller and ask them why?

OP posts:
PineappleTime · 02/05/2024 07:22

How do you know the estate agent knew when you called about the carpets?
Have you been bothering the agent and seller for the whole 10 weeks to measure and get in for this and that? Maybe the seller just decided they had enough of you.

Rewis · 02/05/2024 07:23

You can push the EA. Show up to their office
Call call call until you get an answer. You can't show up to the sellers house.

BitOutOfPractice · 02/05/2024 07:26

I feel too ur pain op having had someone pull out 20 minutes before exchange for no reason.

but what will confronting them actually achieve. You’ll feel worse after and you’ll still not have a house. So honestly, there’s zero point.

Shade17 · 02/05/2024 07:28

goldenretrievermum5 · 01/05/2024 19:28

Turning up to ‘face’ the sellers would be called harrasment and is an absolutely ridiculous idea. You are not entitled to any reasoning whatsoever, it’s their house and they decided not to sell it is all you need to know. YABVU

It would only be harassment if it happened more than once.

Rosscameasdoody · 02/05/2024 07:30

PossumintheHouse · 01/05/2024 19:31

If you do that, prepare to face a very frosty reception from said EA (even if it is deserved) when you express interest in another property.
They could've pulled out for a great many reasons. I'd put cash on it having something to do with a better offer, though. It's almost always about the money.

Would have to be a significantly better offer though because most EA contracts hold the seller responsible for paying the fees if they pull out after the EA has introduced a buyer willing and able to proceed. Not to mention solicitors fees for work undertaken on the original sale. Our EA fees were 2% of the purchase price - that would be £18,000 + VAT on a £900,000 sale.

dayswithaY · 02/05/2024 07:34

Rewis · 02/05/2024 07:23

You can push the EA. Show up to their office
Call call call until you get an answer. You can't show up to the sellers house.

They might be in the dark about this too! It’s in their interest to get the sale through and they don’t get paid for the work they’ve done now. The sellers probably haven’t told the EA their reasons, just gone through their solicitors.

You’re in a great position as a cash buyer, OP - people are weird, move on.

Cattyisbatty · 02/05/2024 07:34

Years ago we pulled out of a sale cos my mum died, it could be something like that. We weren’t at exchange but still we had to let buyers down. You gain nothing by going round, just get the EA on the case to find you something else pronto.

Maraa · 02/05/2024 07:44

We were buying a house off a friend. They ended up pulling out 12 weeks or so into the process. It was frustrating but we didn’t question or confront them. Unfortunately it’s shit but these things are rarely personal and everyone has their reasons. It was the best thing to happen in hindsight as the house we have now is what I dreamt off forever.

BoudiccaOfSuburbia · 02/05/2024 07:47

Incredibly frustrating and upsetting, OP.

Fantasise about karma catching up with the vendors but keep it in your head.

ageratum1 · 02/05/2024 07:48

You don't care the reason, you just want to intimate them

CommeIlFaut · 02/05/2024 07:49

I understand that’s it’s disappointing, but you really do need not to be a baby about it.

Of course you cannot just turn up (foot stamping optional) and demand an explanation. Buying a house is a contractual process and you had not yet entered into any contract.

You are very likely to need the services of the estate agent in future. So, whatever you think of them, stay on their side.

DMIL had to pull out of the sale of her 3.2 million pound house a fortnight before contracts were due to be exchanged. She had a significant medical diagnosis and needed to be in her home while she was being treated. We obviously didn’t share that with the buyers, just cited a change of circumstance.

The buyers (also cash) accepted the disappointment with good grace, and now live three doors away. All very dignified for everyone.

vitahelp · 02/05/2024 08:12

I can understand your disappointment and initial reaction. I'd feel similar. Glad you have calmed a bit now and decided not to try and face the seller.

I think mentioning the price was a bit relevant since if you live in a average price area, houses for that price are actually quite rare and often very unique, so it isn't as simple as going out finding another one the same, it is a long process.

betterangels · 02/05/2024 08:16

Caroparo52 · 01/05/2024 20:50

Go and politly ask why... you never know what might occur. You could change their minds

I'd find this unhinged behaviour. It definitely wouldn't change my mind.

Toomuch44 · 02/05/2024 08:21

Sadly they don't owe you an explanation - might have been nice if they'd given one though.

We pulled out of a purchase once, property was hard to get a mortgage on due to construction, then literally the day before exchange last minute paperwork came from seller's solicitor which revealed more problems which we couldn't risk long term. We went back to property over weekend, but I knew I just didn't want it to be mine any longer, so DH phoned buyer direct that evening.

newmumabouttown · 02/05/2024 08:24

Wow, what if something awful has happened to them or a loved one. Your sense of entitlement is shocking.

Equivo · 02/05/2024 08:25

poetryandwine · 01/05/2024 19:52

The OP said in her initial post that the sellers have moved out already. They aren’t postponing for reasons of health, bereavement, their finances, etc.

I agree she should not confront them but considering this information it was a shitty thing for them to di, and the EA has been a coward

You don't know this. I can think of multiple scenarios that aren't them accepting a higher offer. If they're having financial problems and have moved to a more expensive property they can no longer afford it could make sense to now put the new property up for sale and move back into the older home. The relationship could have broken down and now one of them is going to stay in the old house. Or maybe a parent has died leaving a parent alone who they want to move into their old home to have them nearer to them.
Maybe a child has been diagnosed with something awful and they've decided that the child dealing with moving schools at this time is unfair so they're moving back in - or their old house is closer to the hospital where someone is receiving treatment.

There are a hundred possible different reasons.

It definitely sucks for you - though I do think anyone is silly to assume a sale is going through before the contracts have been exchanged, these things happen so often.

And the EA was definitely a shit not to let you know asap.

But you'd be far and away the most unreasonable to turn up on the sellers doorstep. No matter what the actual reason was.

BumpyaDaisyevna · 02/05/2024 08:26

It's understandable you're really disappointed.

But the seller has a right.

Who knows what's happened.

Perhaps one of them has just been given 6 months to live!

Given they have pulled out of the ideal sale to a cash buyer - something must have significantly changed for them.

DownWithThisKindOfThing · 02/05/2024 08:28

What is the relevance of you being a £900k cash buyer?

YABU anyway although I get it’s frustrating

DownWithThisKindOfThing · 02/05/2024 08:33

I would t worry about pissing off the EA though, they don’t act for you and they’re wankers anyway.

EnglishBluebell · 02/05/2024 08:36

goldenretrievermum5 · 01/05/2024 19:28

Turning up to ‘face’ the sellers would be called harrasment and is an absolutely ridiculous idea. You are not entitled to any reasoning whatsoever, it’s their house and they decided not to sell it is all you need to know. YABVU

The definition of harassment is a PATTERN of unwanted behaviour. Not one lone instance

Ellmau · 02/05/2024 08:40

I would go back to the agent and ask them. Is it potentially possible that your solicitor has made a mistake? They should know the reason anyway.

If not, then as a cash buyer you should have no difficulty finding somewhere else. Sorry for losing this one, though.

ABirdsEyeView · 02/05/2024 08:44

I think there IS some relevance in the OP saying how much she was spending on this house - she's saying that she wasn't messing the sellers around by quibbling over the price. That she was giving them everything they asked for and then some!
If she'd been constantly trying to drive the price down, that would make it more reasonable for the seller to just withdraw, so OP is making clear to us this wasn't the case.

As for criticism of her 'entitlement', I do also think that when you've entered into an agreement and gone so far as to spend money on surveys and solicitors, you do have some entitlement to an explanation.

Isthisreasonable · 02/05/2024 08:45

They now know they can sell easily. Perhaps they like their neighbours and didn't want to inflict a loadsamoney character on them.

652needtogetup · 02/05/2024 08:49

OP, I'd feel exactly the same as you and it's such a dreadful system where buyers and sellers are allowed to do this and morally you are definitely owed an explanation but I don't think knocking on her door and demanding one is going to help you in the long run.

Ohyeahwaitaminute · 02/05/2024 08:53

I’d sign up to a term of kick boxing classes… and move on.
This buying and selling business is the pits.