To forcibly ask why you pulled out?

[MyPeachLion]

I am (was!) a cash buyer of a 900k property. We were due to exchange next week. And complete after 2 weeks. We went 30k above asking and 20k above another bidder. No other bidder was a cash buyer. We are about 10 weeks into the sale.

My solicitor informs me this afternoon that the seller pulled out with NO reason given.

Can I turn up to the seller's house and ask the seller face to face why they pulled out? AIBU?

The estage agent did not even bother to inform me, despite the seller telling them last weekend that he was cancelling.

No chain on the seller's end - they have a new build they have already moved into! Seller moved out of their property early last week. We know because we visited the house for kitchen measurements last week!

I rang the EA this morning to get dates so I can get carpet quotes for next week and the EA was on board! Not once did he mention that the seller pulled out.

I am pissed off for not knowing why he pulled out, and for the EA to not inform me of it, and then proceed to play me like a fool by humouring my requests for carpet tradesmen to enter next week.
Were they meant to enter through the cat flap?

Again, is it unreasonable to just face this time-wasting seller and ask them why?

Do not do this.
You could present them with a sparkler and a pretty bouquet, and they'd still think showing up on their doorstep was unhinged.

And why do you think the EA was playing you along? They wouldn't do this if they knew the seller had pulled out.

It's super disappointing but their reasons are private. You certainly shouldn't doorstep them!? What do you think they'll say.. 'actually, now that you've ranted at me, I think I've changed my mind again and the sale is now going ahead'?
Just move on from it. Don't use that EA again, they are clearly shite.

Can I turn up to the seller's house and ask the seller face to face why they pulled out? AIBU?

Of course you can't do that!
It's frustrating, but nothing to be done now.

If I was the seller in question and a buyer stalker turned up at my door trying to convince me to let them purchase my house after refusing their offer the first thing that I’d be doing is ringing the police. The very last thing I’d want to do is engage in a house sale with that level of crazy

I can see why you're pissed off. This happened to me years ago, very similar circumstances in that the house was vacant as the woman selling had bought a house with a partner. They split up and then she moved back and withdrew the sale.

It was disappointing the time, especially as we'd paid out in legal fees and a survey, but honestly the house we ended up buying was much better and I'm still here now, 18 years later.

YABU, I totally get how awful it is but there could be a whole range of (more awful) reasons why they have pulled out (death, illness, losing job, needing family to stay). Plus it sounds harsh but that’s the deal in England, anyone can pull out at any time before exchange. It’s horrible sometimes but can also work in the buyer’s favour too under different circumstances.

They were insulted by you wanting to change their lovely carpets so they pulled out to spite you. They can afford new and old house and are now letting the old one out to a family of ferrets.

Do you feel better now you know the reason?

Just because they’ve moved into their onward purchase, it doesn’t mean they not been hit by personal circumstances that have meant this isn’t the time for them to sell.

Maybe their sibling or child’s marriage has broken down and they are letting them stay in that house. Maybe their marriage broke down and one is going to keep the old house. Maybe they won the lottery and didn’t need to sell. Maybe they’ve received a diagnosis and whilst they might lose money, selling the house isn’t a priority. Maybe they didn’t like you as a buyer. Maybe they received a higher offer.

It would be nice to know but it’s not going to change anything and it’s not going to make you feel better. Even if they’ve been diagnosed with something and just can’t face the stress, it still isn’t going to make you feel better. I’d be really pissed off with the estate agent but in case they deal with your next purchase, you need to remain polite and professional. The system is shit.

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do, although I am sure you would like to tear someone off a strip - I know I would! I do think the estate agent should have kept you better in the loop.

As a cash buyer you are in a good position, but why does the fact it was 900k make any difference to anything?

Because she's considerably richer than yaw

I’m sure the police would be delighted that you contacted them to let them know someone came to your house to ask you a question 🙄

Looking on the bright side at least you got to tell us about all that cash you have sloshing about.

Why mention the 900k? If it was a 300k property would it be OK for the seller to pull out? I think mentioning this was a mistake on your part as it reads like you think this makes you more entitled to the explanation you want. This will naturally get people's backs up.

Regardless, YANBU to be upset. It's horrible when this happens. But of course you can't turn up on their doorstep. You stand to gain nothing and would completely embarrass yourself. The harsh reality is they don't have to tell you anything and you certainly can't "force" them to explain themselves. Even if you did get an explanation, what difference does it make? You still won't get the house, so you might as well keep your dignity.

A stranger that you refused to sell your house to coming to your door uninvited to question you on your reasoning behind it would be classed as harassment. They have absolutely no entitlement to be there, nor be given the reason why and I would have no issue in making the police aware. It’s stalker behaviour

@ToxicChristmas I'm being nosy and curious

Don't be fucking ridiculous. The seller has not done anything illegal as they don't owe you any explanation. Yes, it is a pain. Take it on the chin and move on.

It’s tempting (a previous seller pulled out the day before exchange, apparently because she couldn’t be bothered packing up the loft until after Christmas, so I feel your pain).

We spent a few evenings plotting to send her a succession of late-night pizzas, to sign her up for every mailing list we could find, to tell the local Jehovah’s Witness hall that she was keen to convert. And then we had a few glasses of wine, got over it, and found a much better house. You will too.

It's not harassment unless it happens more than once. It is completely batshit though.

The whole model needs to be updated! In Australia you agree upfront a period of 30/60 or 90 days and you agree the date you’ll move upfront, and then everyone works to that date. It means you can book the removalists, and plan your move. The UK system is so out of date.

Sounds like you might have been gazumped? They don’t need to give you a reason why and you’ve got nothing to gain by trying to find out from them. Chalk it up to experience. Good luck finding another property!

Thanks for your replies everyone.

Sorry, I was too busy choking on my own rage to see how unhinged baby reindeer 2.0 I sounded earlier.

I guess I became very emotionally invested over 10w and feel gutted out as a result.

I was being very unreasonable, and no, I will not contact the seller in any form.

FYI, I mentioned cash buyer because I wanted to nulify any theories about being gazumped by a cash buyer vs a mortgaged buyer, which would not apply in my specific case here.

And the 900k bit, I should have just left that out. I did not realise how often that will get referenced. Even if it was 200k, I would have felt the same rage.

The estate agent was unprofessional not informing you that the seller had pulled out.
Go online and give them a stinking review.

Makes sense.. house buying (and selling ) is stressful in this country!

‘Went all baby reindeer’ - it’s going to be a thing! Even though the baby reindeer wasn’t the stalker, still.