People who work have anxiety too

[Fedupandgrump]

Anyone else on the verge of a breakdown with work, kids, mortgage and cost of living?

I’ve read a lot of threads recently about people with mental health conditions worried about being forced into employment when they feel as though they would not be able to cope. Whilst I sympathise, it’s come at a time where I am completely overwhelmed, burnt out and wonder how the fuck I’m going to get through the week. I treat myself to a half hour sob in Sainsburys car park every couple of days and I wake up every morning with dread, fear and anxiety about what the day will hold. However, I go and work because I. Have. No. Choice. I have two kids and a mad dog that relies on me and my husband to keep our shit together and a roof over our heads. Every day I can feel my heart racing and I feel permanently like I’m in fight or flight mode and I wonder if this is going to lead to a premature heart attack in my 30’s.

I sometimes feel like people who don’t work due to poor mental health thinks those of us who do work, are suffering less than them. I know IAMBU but I can’t help the way I feel at the minute.

Why do you need a cleaner or gardener?
Genuine question and not being goady.
I asume you must live alone, otherwise other family member could do it. If you live alone you wouldn't make much mess. I would do hardly any claening/gardening if I were you and not be bothered about the mess. Lifes too short to fill it up with miserible tasks. You might find yourself happier (goes for everyone) if you lower the bar.

Bloody hell. I don’t even know where to start with this.

It's honestly one of the most fucking ridiculous questions I've seen on here and I've been on here years

But hey, what do we know, we are just disabled people who must be very very careful not to make any mess in our lives whilst we wallow in our filth 🙄🙄🙄

According to some on MN, getting a job will solve all their issues.

I have anxiety and going to work helps because it gets me out of the house otherwise I would feel isolated which makes me worse. However I was agoraphobic for a few years, even the thought of leaving the house sent me into a horrendous panic attack. It took me a long time and a lot different meds and counselling to get to where I am now. I would never judge someone who couldn’t face going to work because they have anxiety because I’ve been there and I know how awful it is.

Eh? Lower the bar? Bugger me I've heard it all now.

Yes neighbours could report it to the council. Also if the person is renting they need to keep the house and garden in good state for landlord inspections.

Well as I said, I really, genuine, was not being goady.
I care little about stuff like this, cleaning and gardening. I also, again genuine, think it just gives me less to worry about. I don't suffer depression or anxiety, never have. I do think my 'don't care' attitude helps. And yes, I do think we could all do with lowering the bar and people would be less stressed.

Yes, lower the bar.
You lot can all worry and stress about cleaning and gardening, I'll ignore it and just get on with my happy life.

I think that this news story is just an other way to victimise and marginalise the disabled. There are both care and mobility elements and I have noticed that the high rate mobility payments has been lumped into what benefits people with mental health problems would receive. People don’t realise how many boxes must be ticked in order to receive this. This is from the stance of someone who has a severely disabled son. Also, you might have anxiety but it isn’t stopping you from being able to function. My dh has had anxiety for years but it was not until a couple of months ago that we experienced just how crippling it can be. From being self employed working 12-14 hours a day he just couldn’t get out of bed and sobbed for weeks. I suggest you get yourself to the doctors before you get to that point and stop bringing others down because it won’t make you feel any better. All the best

So you never clean your house? Never in your entire life?

You cook in a kitchen you have never cleaned? Not once?

Thankyou OP for this post it is one of the most honest posts I have read on here. All to often people play the mental health card to avoid working and have everything paid for them, trust me I know a few. However we are all are struggling but we have no choice but to keep going. Half of the people that have mental health issues are sat at home with too much time on their hands, if they were working and busy juggling life they wouldnt have time to sit and mope
. We all have down days but you simply have to get on with it.

I know people are so unwell but at some point I was. I was utterly only as I cam describe now looking back very unwell and awful. I felt insane and am nothing like that now. I honestly don't know how I survived and came out how I am now but was a single parent with a mortgage so entitled to fuck all. I had zero choice and I was in a nervous breakdown but functioned somehow. If you don't get paid and have no choice you just carry on until you recover which took many years. I'm still sad I had no help and we both suffered.

YANBU

There are people who are without question mentally well and coping without problems in the workplace.

There are people who are without question experiencing a mental health crisis and are completely unable to work.

Then there's people in the middle who are struggling with their mental health. Some of those people will get signed off and some won't.
The decision each individual in that position makes will depend on a number of factors including finances, dependents, resilience, work satisfaction, support network etc

Not much.
I clean the kitchen counters and put everything in the
dishwasher. I only buy stuff I can dishwash. Life’s to short for
washing dishes.
I do a bit of hoovering, very occasional dusting. I wash clothes
obviously but
never iron.
I was serious, just lower the bar (about life generally) it's
fine.

pretty sure that most wouldsuddenly find that they were able to work if you took away their funding.

No they starve to death or kill themselves. Or they 'work' in the jobs a PP spoke about. Drug dealing, shoplifting, and other crimes.

People also keep ignoring the lack of jobs. There's not even enough job vacancies for everyone on job seekers benefits.

I can’t think that this thread was designed to do anything other than shit stir up a hornets nest.

To qualify for PIP, with how rigorous the assessment is, with ‘only’ mental health problems. You would likely have to be dosed on a tonne of meds, be engaging with therapy, and be incapable of washing, dressing, feeding yourself, money and possible addiction issues. You would need a series of reports from medical professionals, prescription list, usually a testimony from someone acting as your carer.

I have physical health issues requiring major surgery, the NHS wait list is very long and I can’t get treatment, I am in severe pain and my quality of life is severely diminished. I have some mental health on account of this horrific situation that I did not ask for impacting me and preventing me from working.

If you are not mentally ill enough to be seeking support at least at GP level then you are dealing with the ups and downs of life and wouldn’t be able to get PIP. You have to be in a really shit place to get it; they haul you over the coals and it is utterly demoralising and dehumanising.

FYI the money you get as a disabled person is nothing - I get by because my DH works really hard to take care of our family and I have family support.

Genuinely, I would love to have the problems you have and a chance at a normal life.

I always think there can't possibly be a post that will wind me up more than the last shockingly ignorant one ... yet here it is.

Ah yeah, I always forget those nordic countries and their downward spiral brought by their high taxation……….

Okay so you do clean and you do housework

Some disabled people cannot clean at all

So they need a cleaner or else no cleaning would ever get done

So in there case their kitchen worktops wouldn't get cleaned. Their toilet wouldn't get cleaned. There would be no hoovering and no occasional dusting.

This isn't about a bar. This is about disability.

a lot of people in my workplace are off sick with mental health problems. It does create more work for others but do you know what, I’d rather be well and working than unwell and not able to. I’m also pleased my workplace is so supportive with good sick pay. If I needed it, I could be off sick without losing pay. That’s good to know and I hope I won’t need it.

I’ve had mild depression in the past but I’ve got through it and generally feel resilient these days even though I have quite a few problems to contend with. I’m grateful I am ok mentally, I really am. I felt like I was really on the edge of darkness and it was a terrible place to be. I have down days now but this is not the same.

those of us who have got through mental illness should know what a battle it is and not everyone is able to.

It’s not a competition
You deserve to look after and get support for your mental health too

Also I cannot BELIEVE that people are arguing over disabled people being able to get their grass cut or live in a clean home.

What is wrong with people?! Take a look at yourselves.

Exactly.

I asume (sic) you must live alone, otherwise other family member could do it. If you live alone you wouldn't make much mess

And it maybe that the other adult family member will struggle to do all the physical work around the house as well as care for the disabled person for at least 35 hours a week and possibly work on top of that. Unpaid carers need support too although they get fuck all help and are left to get on with it all. Many end up burning out.

Yeah. That poster's idea of a "low bar" is my idea of a "very high bar" when I was at my most ill.

After you haven't cleaned AT ALL for a year, you get green mould growing in the dust on your wooden furniture in your barely heated house - particularly the legs.

And you get sick from reusing mugs and teaspoons without enough washing when bending to the dishwasher and heaving things in and out has been too much for you.

And your clothing stinks because of all the times you've been unable to unload and hang it, even on a clothes horse, within 24 hours of doing it.

Ask me how I know these things.