People who work have anxiety too

[Fedupandgrump]

Anyone else on the verge of a breakdown with work, kids, mortgage and cost of living?

I’ve read a lot of threads recently about people with mental health conditions worried about being forced into employment when they feel as though they would not be able to cope. Whilst I sympathise, it’s come at a time where I am completely overwhelmed, burnt out and wonder how the fuck I’m going to get through the week. I treat myself to a half hour sob in Sainsburys car park every couple of days and I wake up every morning with dread, fear and anxiety about what the day will hold. However, I go and work because I. Have. No. Choice. I have two kids and a mad dog that relies on me and my husband to keep our shit together and a roof over our heads. Every day I can feel my heart racing and I feel permanently like I’m in fight or flight mode and I wonder if this is going to lead to a premature heart attack in my 30’s.

I sometimes feel like people who don’t work due to poor mental health thinks those of us who do work, are suffering less than them. I know IAMBU but I can’t help the way I feel at the minute.

Absolutely. That was my point. As I said, getting back to work is beneficial to many people who suffer from mental illness.

Thank you for posting this @Yupppp

OP, I am sorry you are feeling under such stress. I hope you can get support.
But taking benefits away from those experiencing MH crises isn't the answer.
Better MH support for folk before they get to that point is.
but MH support has been cut, & cut, & cut again (& wasnt great to start with)
That's what we should all be angry about imo.

And where are all of these magical psychiatric wards/hospitals that you think people would all be put away in (which, btw is actually quite a hide em away, out of sight, out of mind idea) ?because there are hardly any left, as they keep getting closed down! Much work is done having the patients come in as a day patient, or get visited at home. And that’s even if they get anywhere in the system. Normally, it’s a case of get extremely ill and struggle for years, finally see someone and have pils thrown at you. A lot of this medication also makes you a zombie so you can’t function anyway. It’s a double edged sword.

oh and, I’m not sure if people are aware, but if you are on benefits and you get sectioned or go into a psychiatric hospital, your benefits get stopped. So that’s nice and not stressful at all!

But sure, it’s all so easy!

so many on here really need to pull their heads out of their arses.

@Allthingsdecember "I worked at a debt management charity for a while and spoke to far too many people who's whole lives had imploded because they couldn't do as you described. Their mental illness meant that they couldn't drag themselves to work every day. Or it meant they performed badly enough to be fired."

Thank you so much for saying this. I am one of those people. But we are invisible as we usually struggle in silence due to shame and the stigma and not wanting to be a burden. And then we end up with threads like this one where people think people with mental health issues just sign up to benefits and happily chill at home with our lives being soo easy.

I'm enforcing more boundaries at work this year and I feel better for it. I am saying no to things and taking my annual leave when appropriate. I was pressured into taking less leave over Easter. I really resented it and I didn't get the break I needed. Last year by the summer I was completely burnt out and I don't want to reach that point again. Enforce your work boundaries people!

*TheLongWay · Today 16:44

I'm pretty sure that most wouldsuddenly find that they were able to work if you took away their funding.

If they are genuinely as ill as you make out, then they should be on psychiatric wards/institutions, not sitting at home in bed.

If these were the options then I think you'd find significantly fewer people claiming to have mental health conditions.*

You seem not to have realised Thatcher shut them all down on the 80’s for ‘care in the community’

As for vouchers:

I get full Pip. I’d need vouchers for cleaner, laundry person, gardener, taxis to hospital appointments, wheelchairs, therapies.

Thats a lot of vouchers. Would all these people take them? I mean there’s a million different taxi firms to start with.

Through my work I have met many, many people who are signed off long term sick because of their mental health, claim PIP etc but still manage to go out shoplifting, drug dealing, or getting drunk and starting fights.

Not wanting to suggest that this behaviour is standard, obviously it's not, but it's very very easy to get signed off, you don't need to do anything special.

Do you think that everyone has, or should have, the same mindset as you? The same ability to keep going? My youngest child has OCD (I did too as a teenager). He has been managing to get into school most days, although that is slowly changing. Some children in our OCD support group can’t make it into school at all. Should they just have a bit more backbone? Some people can cope with certain things better than others. People’s conditions may have a name in common but they manifest in different ways. In fact some people’s conditions are simply worse. Worse than yours. Surely it’s not that difficult to understand and have some empathy.

That is true for some people (many others aren't well enough to work). However tell that to HR. Some PP here obviously have supportive and disability friendly employers. They're lucky. Many businesses aren't so understanding and are reluctant to hire sick or disabled people.

I’ve had breakdowns but there is no choice but to get up and do the work.

My ex colleague felt the same. Until they were forced out of their job by the manager. Sacked on incapacity grounds.

Also there's the issue I mentioned before. Not enough jobs. 916,000 vacancies, but over 1 million job seekers (the 1 million doesn't include people on sickness benefits)

Shoplifting, drug dealing, getting drunk, and getting in fights.... are not healthy behaviours, and the the sign of someone who has their shit together. They sound chaotic, and absolutely entitled to things like PIP/UC. Do you think they can just walk into a job?

Kelptomania and substance addiction (I'm referring to the drinking more than the drug dealing because that doesn't necesarrily mean addiction) can be comorbidities of other mental health problems

So because someone is shop lifting or drinking and getting into fights doesn't mean they don't have significant mental health issues

And quite frankly who wants to be in work with some with aggression issues anyway. If someone is frequently starting fights then they probably aren't suited to a work environment until they have had some serious therapy to deal with their underlying issues.

I agree with you OP. I suffer from anxiety thanks to a pretty traumatic childhood, and this year following some very stressful times because of my dd’s medical condition, I have felt myself fall into something of a depression. 😞

I am getting through it and it’s ok. But the point is, I get up and keep trucking every day because I have to. Infuriates me when stay at home mums with rich husbands wang on how stressed/down they feel - they have no idea.similar to what you’re saying I guess xx

Signed off by whom for what?

I have a feeling you know very little about PIP or other disability benefits or the process of applying for them.

@Tunnocksmallow So where are all these beds in the psychiatric hospitals then? People are waiting that should be cared for in a secure unit, alas they are being held in a general hospital awaiting a bed to become free. This can takes many weeks and can be at the other end of the country to where they are living. My daughter is a paediatric nurse and it is not unusual for a patient under the age of 18 to be waiting weeks on a paediatric ward as there is no bed available for their mental health needs. This has a knock on affect on the whole ward as they are taking up a bed when they don't have any physical ailments that need to be cared for.

That won't help if she's then taking a drop in income so more stress about paying the bills

And your point is? I never said anyone should do it the same as me, nor did I say my life was easy.

Why the competition? If someone is unable to work, did you consider perhaps they’re experiencing anxiety and depression worse than you have it? Have you considered your mental ill health could get worse than it is now?

Nobody chooses to exist on a government mandated pittance that requires you to jump through hoops every year or so to be eligible, and where your entire subsistence could be removed because of a quota and then consider it the easy option. Believe it or not working is often the easier option if you are capable of doing it. What you may be seeing with those out of work is recovery rather than people who are well again. It’s slow, non-linear and happens with many many setbacks. Don’t martyr yourself yet.

It shouldn’t be a race to the bottom of sick people shitting on other sick people ffs.

Their families take care of them. Family takes the place of the welfare state. This is exactly why some cultures are so family oriented.

There is interesting data on this.

Firstly, you can only be "signed off" sick if you have a job (so you do work) and are temporarily ill. There is a limit to how long you can be signed off for,

National data says that the most common reason to be signed off in 2022 was a respiratory infection (so covid or similar) with mental health second,

www.ons.gov.uk/employmentandlabourmarket/peopleinwork/labourproductivity/articles/sicknessabsenceinthelabourmarket/2022#:~:text=In%202022%2C%20the%20sickness%20absence%20rates%20were%203.6%25%20for%20public,points%2C%20respectively%2C%20from%202021.

The U.K. sickness absence rate for 2022 is 2.6%.

Research comparing European countries to the U.K. indicates that the U.K. actually has a lower sickness rate than many other European countries:

"

Germany stood out with the highest rate of absences among all countries (20.4% for men and 22.9% for women), followed by France (12.6% and 18.7%), Spain (8.8% and 11.9%), and the United Kingdom (7.9% vs 12.3%); Figure 22_."

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8623318/

Wow. There is some real nastiness on this thread.

People don't get PIP and DLA just for shits and giggles. Usually they've actually been seen, assessed and diagnosed by a medical professional. I recommend you do the same if you are struggling.

Exactly

Why do you need a cleaner or gardener?
Genuine question and not being goady.
I asume you must live alone, otherwise other family member could do it. If you live alone you wouldn't make much mess. I would do hardly any claening/gardening if I were you and not be bothered about the mess. Lifes too short to fill it up with miserible tasks. You might find yourself happier (goes for everyone) if you lower the bar.

How many employers will hire a drug dealer, shoplifter, or someone who gets into violent fights? People with the social problems you describe wouldn't be seen as fit for work by many employers.

Is this a real question?

I had to get aa gardener in as gardens tend to grow things like brambles that take over everywhere... and neighbours complain.... probably start a AIBU on MN.

Disabled people are allowed to want to live in clean houses too