People who work have anxiety too

[Fedupandgrump]

Anyone else on the verge of a breakdown with work, kids, mortgage and cost of living?

I’ve read a lot of threads recently about people with mental health conditions worried about being forced into employment when they feel as though they would not be able to cope. Whilst I sympathise, it’s come at a time where I am completely overwhelmed, burnt out and wonder how the fuck I’m going to get through the week. I treat myself to a half hour sob in Sainsburys car park every couple of days and I wake up every morning with dread, fear and anxiety about what the day will hold. However, I go and work because I. Have. No. Choice. I have two kids and a mad dog that relies on me and my husband to keep our shit together and a roof over our heads. Every day I can feel my heart racing and I feel permanently like I’m in fight or flight mode and I wonder if this is going to lead to a premature heart attack in my 30’s.

I sometimes feel like people who don’t work due to poor mental health thinks those of us who do work, are suffering less than them. I know IAMBU but I can’t help the way I feel at the minute.

fair enough I must have misunderstood your point

To be clear I am quite passionate about social mobility for women, not least mothers.

Just a thought, but it seems possible that the benefits claimed by people who for whatever reason are unable to work/have disabled children, are actually the amount that government recognises as necessary for them.
Perhaps we could look at this differently - could the problem be that in the current financial climate, wages are not enough to maintain an appropriate standard of living?
And in that case, instead of complaining about benefits, something needs to be done about this fine mess we've got ourself into.
I mean we know that many people's wages don't cover rent or morgage. We know that there's a housing crisis and that there are something like nine families per rental.
We know it's not easy to jump into a new job, and that people are under significant pressure within their jobs due to underfunding and understaffing.

Etc

This is of course a huge part of the issue.

I also think we need to look at what’s happened to society to make so many of us struggling with poor mental health etc.

I would say that struggling for money, a normal job not paying normal bills and a shortage of housing might have something to do with it.
So, so much pressure to perform ( and conform)
The choice of staying home to look after their family has been taken from most women. Reading posts on MN shows how very little time families have together. They are just on a treadmill.
The rich/poor divide, which can be viewed up close due to social media.
Overcrowded schools, burnt out teachers.
I think poor metal health is a symptom of a sick society.

Honestly I know so many people who wouldn't have mental health issues if they had enough money / access to healthcare / a better job.

I feel that a lot of things are misclassified as anxiety - anxiety is often a reaction to a real problem that needs fixing. Not always, and in that case it's a separate issue, but often.

@SagePenguin is right with her analysis IMO.

What annoys me / stresses me out the most is workplace initiatives to reduce 'anxiety' and promote 'wellbeing' when you just think - 'hey! Pay me in line with my council tax / mortgage / food price increases and give me work that fits into my hours - that would massively improve my anxiety and wellbeing!'

They know that of course, these initiatives / courses are them basically saying 'we don't want to cut our profits to give you decent pay / a reasonable workload, so we'll just waste money on this performative crap instead'. It's so insulting!

I feel that a lot of things are misclassified as anxiety - anxiety is often a reaction to a real problem that needs fixing. Not always, and in that case it's a separate issue, but often.

@Madeyemoodysswiveleyedrant Yes, some many people are under enormous pressure.

Also, when you are formally diagnosed with an anxiety disorder like me (I’m diagnosed with GAD), it can be possible to treat it effectively IF you can actually see a doctor and access medication and counselling. A phone appointment isn’t enough, iyswim. I’m able to work due to effective treatment-if I hadn’t had that, I might not be able to.

Towards the end of the time when I was working I found it all very stressful, doing 60+ hours a week and not seeing any way that things were going to improve. I actually retired early and found it better being short of money than working in a job I hated.

I personally believe a real panic/anxiety disorder is a result of a change in brain chemistry.

I wasn't stressed at work or at home. Absolutely loved my job, very happy life, enough money. Then BOOM. Couldn't walk, talk, eat or function and wanted to die.

Did you hit the Menopause as that can have a huge impact on your mental health ? Is there anything you can think of that would have changed your brain chemistry. I think being under pressure over a long period of time can result in brain chemistry.

@WalkingonWheels Yes, anxiety disorders are illnesses and need to be medically treated as other illnesses would be.

As people often say, if someone broke their leg or had a heart attack, no one would expect them not to receive treatment! With treatment, some people can recover enough to function well. Like any illness, anxiety disorders also vary in severity.

@TwelveAngryWhiskers all my relatives who claim benefits and refuse to work, and refer to benefits as ‘entitlements’

Yes, @kerstina , I hit peri-menopause at 33 which is when everything kicked off. This was years ago, then I had a complete breakdown. My GP said it could be a hormonal change in my brain that triggered it!

Exactly, @BruFord - just because we can't see it doesn't mean it's not disabling. I'm a wheelchair user and I would take my physical pain and disabilities over the mental stuff any day.

I think you are absolutely right.

It’s important to distinguish poor mental health from mental illness, in my opinion. But poor mental health clearly puts people at risk from mental illness.

What can we (society, women) do? That’s a genuine question. What can we do?

YABU
Its awful you feel so bad about work and life stress OP - please get help.

However those on benefits like PIP can be in such a horrific way - they may currently be sectioned or have been and trust me there is no help before getting to that point or even after when you come out of hospital.

So yes, people should be expected to get well enough to work again however the lack of services means they are only expected to get out of hospital and hopefully survive!

If more was put into supporting people to get well enough to work then yes more probably could.
Benefits is spoken about on here like it’s tons of money but it isn’t - it’s just enough and not fun to be on (unless you’re doing something wrong on top of it).

Yes! I have depression, SAD on top of that and ASD but I still work! In fact, even though it’s stressful and I’m not at my best at all in winter, it’s better for my mental health to work due to the stimulation. I don’t think people get that! I honestly think not working is the worst thing you can do for depression and anxiety.

@Idratherbepaddleboarding, lots of people get that. It has been said numerous times on this very thread.
What the Government are suggesting is bizarre (to put it nicely). They are presenting treatment to get back to work as an alternative rather than a good idea in itself.
Having it all as vouchers is clearly inefficient for distributing the support and an inefficient way to receive it also. If people are faking it, it should not be supplied and if it si genuine, then why spend money to make it worse?
In physical terms, you have the equivalent of a painful leg that needs exercise. What applies to you would not apply to someone with broken legs.

Many people getting PIP are already working, some full time. As they did with DLA.

PIP is for the extra costs of disability. Working or not is irrelevant. ESA is the “can’t work” category.

Yes it happened to me too. Oestrogen affects your resilience I think. Suddenly everything I had been coping with for years got on top of me .

If people can't cope with their anxiety or depression I wouldn't really want them in the workplace because they might not perform well as they might make colleagues jobs harder. In other cases anxiety or depression can make people better performers. Eg anxiety can help people do a thorough job and depressives opinions can be more accurate than healthy people who have a positive bias.

Rather than vouchers I wonder if they could have a payment card which bans some things eg ultra processed foods, alcohol, paid for TV and gives free or discounts on fruit and veg, leisure centres, parks and gardens

Why not cash?
There would be cost associated with these restrictions?
I understand the intent, but the assumption is that people are to blame for this. Giving cash is most efficient to give and the user is best placed to now their needs, which might include TV.
Stress people out and they will increasingly choose ultra processed foods, alcohol etc.

Who gets paid for tv!?

I've been in both the position where I've burnt out and had to take time off work because I was an emotional wreck, did end up on antidepressants to help me through (I have to admit the worries weren't about money at that time, it was workplace stress working in the NHS). But I've also been in the position where the stress in my life is so high that I've been so grateful that I have a job to go to so I can take my mind off everything. I'm also a better person when working, because I am talking to others and being productive - I can't think of anything worse than not having a job and being stuck at home.

I think the suggest was the vouchers would not be allowed to be used on TV.
If you are housebound, I thin such TV or good internet is probably good value!