People who work have anxiety too

[Fedupandgrump]

Anyone else on the verge of a breakdown with work, kids, mortgage and cost of living?

I’ve read a lot of threads recently about people with mental health conditions worried about being forced into employment when they feel as though they would not be able to cope. Whilst I sympathise, it’s come at a time where I am completely overwhelmed, burnt out and wonder how the fuck I’m going to get through the week. I treat myself to a half hour sob in Sainsburys car park every couple of days and I wake up every morning with dread, fear and anxiety about what the day will hold. However, I go and work because I. Have. No. Choice. I have two kids and a mad dog that relies on me and my husband to keep our shit together and a roof over our heads. Every day I can feel my heart racing and I feel permanently like I’m in fight or flight mode and I wonder if this is going to lead to a premature heart attack in my 30’s.

I sometimes feel like people who don’t work due to poor mental health thinks those of us who do work, are suffering less than them. I know IAMBU but I can’t help the way I feel at the minute.

Agree with you OP

If your on it, you usually get an annual physical health check. That's the only reason I knew. I go to the hospital for mine but I think some might have them at gps dependant on area

Yes people who work do have anxiety too. I thought i 'just' had anxiety but couldn't understand how all these people who also said they had anxiety were managing to work and get ahead and get on with life better than me. Then I was diagnosed with ASD and learnt that my 'anxiety' was sensory overload and that there was a reason my brain wouldn't shut the eff up ruminating and working out what I should say, how I should say it, in which tone, all while trying to make the right amount of eye contact that doesn't seem weird, trying to understand the meaning of what every person ever said to me, and STILL managing to accidentally piss someone off with saying something wrong, not being able cope with last minute changes of plans, or public transport, or anything involving bright lights, crowds, sudden noises, machinery/air conditioning noises , tapping of keyboards, many conversations going on at once.... etc. .....Some people's anxiety isn't anxiety, it's autism and many of us aren't diagnosed yet and really can't fucking work.

Forcing an autistic person to work in environments completely unsuitable for them (which most workplaces are completely awful) is deadly.

Autistic people should be automatically signed off work like schizophrenics and other serious mental health disorders AND then encouraged and supported into work when they are not pressured....much better success rates then and less fucking suicides I imagine.

Poor mental health vs mental illness. I think this distinction is often misunderstood. Situational factors can cause poor mental health and can of course cause breakdowns. But mental illness is a different matter altogether.

As someone with mental health challenges, my industry is incredibly challenging and high pressure but I am back at work and make it work. Mental illness is incredibly widespread and I doubt that there are any occupations where there are not significant numbers of people with mental illness.

I am sure there are people with mental health issues who could be working but aren't (claiming mental health as an excuse), and equally people with mental health issues who are working but probably shouldn't be.

My mother suffered crippling anxiety and yes, there is no way she could have worked. She found it difficult to care herself a lot of the time let alone leave the house.

Interestingly my poor mental health has rarely stopped me from working, but has frequently manifested in a struggle to look after certain basic needs. I'm not saying that would have been the case for your mother at all, but the two aren't necessarily as straightforwardly connected as you might think.

(I suppose people might say "well, take time off work to look after your basic needs instead", but it doesn't quite work like that either; in the absence of the work routine looking after oneself properly can get even harder.)

I knew this would be one of THOSE threads, with loads of people commenting on how they’re depressed/anxious and still manage to work. Anxiety is a whole lot more than feeling like you’ve too much to do and not enough hours to do it. Sobbing in Sainsbury’s car park could be seen as a good thing. A release. Many, many people with anxiety are unable to cry. In fact it’s not uncommon for them to be unable to even pinpoint what is making them anxious. They can’t even say it’s due to a busy life or a difficult relationship. They are just more prone to anxiety in general and feel completely overwhelmed and paralysed by something they can’t even identify. Maybe going to work in a stressful job and taking care of children is what tips them over the edge, but it isn’t always the cause.

I don't think anyone should be automatically signed off from work based on a diagnosis, then given support to get back into work.

You are basically telling people that they can't work. and for some, that is all they need to feel like that can't even try.

Some people with schizophrenia can and do work, and some don't. It is not helpful to tell someone newly diagnosed from the get to to say they can't work, and some how have to prove they can. Same with autism.
Is it helpful to tell an autistic person that they can be signed off work, and maybe get job if they feel able. You are setting them up to fail.

You clearly didn't read my post on my current struggles to get a job as a disabled person despite being in work

But thank you for the lecture

And this is why I urge you to seek some help for your anxiety, OP. Whether it’s counselling, exercise, medication, whatever works for you.
I’ve been exactly where you are now. Hanging on by a thread. Then an awful, unexpected life event happened and I didn’t have any ability to cope with it. There was just no way on this earth that I could work - my brain couldn’t process any of the stuff I used to be skilled at. Thankfully my husband has a well paid job, as I was on SSP for 8 months. I tried several times to return to work even a few hours was impossible. It’s hard to understand, until it happens to you, what it’s like when you lose the ability to think, to process information, to do a job that you’ve managed under stressful circumstances for years. It’s unexplainable but it does happen, trust me!
I am so grateful to have recovered and will never take my mental health for granted.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow you’ve put it so well, was in the exact same boat with teaching. I used to see the yearly calendars etc coming out with dates for your diary and with every bullet point being read out in the staff meeting I’d be getting wave after wave of anxiety thinking how on earth am I making it to any of these dates?! 😩 I lived from one awful countdown to the next, not being able to sleep for worrying about parents night one week then an inspection the next or the pre-inspection inspection that my council now do 🤦🏻‍♀️ in case the pressure wasn’t already killing you

I do get you OP, I feel the same way when I read people who have certain issues saying things that imply that they don't find x,y or z easy like everyone else because they have a certain condition and I'm like nobody finds those things easy,w e all struggle with them or fail at that and mess up or whatever. Its not that I don't believe they have it harder but it annoys me that they seem to think that everyone "normal" finds it all so easy which isn't the case at all, far from it. Everyday is like climbing a mountain and failing for lots of us who get not help or special consideration at all.

I kept my shit together until I didn’t. I had a full on breakdown that wrecked my mental health for years. I had no money at all and was actually in debt but I couldn’t get out of bed. Everyone deals with situations differently and some cope better than others so I can’t judge anyone else’s situation. I wish mental health services were better in this country, more available, more accessible and longer periods of treatment.

I would also put money on most of the people posting here about how disabled people should be able to make it into work if they haven't actually been sectioned are also the people who also think that it's unacceptable to request any level of reasonable adjustment at work.

you asked me a question about where people with mental illness would work (the quote references my previous post). I answered it in a perfectly polite and reasonable manner based on my personal experience.

Completely agree. I was diagnosed with depression at 14 and have generalised anxiety and OCD. I work full time in accountancy, have a child with AuDHD and a mother with dementia. I feel like a shell of a person and like I'm here just for everyone else at the moment, but I've never taken a day off work due to mental health. If anything, my mind HAS to try and focus or else it goes to catastrophic thinking!

I do wonder how much longer I can keep this pace up though. GCSE'S are looming and I'm really hoping my mind will give me a break after that for a bit (break, not a break down!)

OP, I totally understand where you’re coming from.

My DH and I have our own business, and the pressure of having to keep it afloat for our employees is immense.

I have suffered so badly with my mental health in the past, I’ve had breakdowns but there is no choice but to get up and do the work. There is no other option, there is no getting signed off sick, there is no back up plan, there is no one going to catch us if we fall. I don’t think people would understand unless they have been in the same position.

Mmmmm hmmmmmm

You are able to make it work. Others are not.

People are all different, that's notnews.

This is a very good post.

People can have anxiety and depression and be fit for work???? I’ve had depression and anxiety for over 20 years and I’ve been in full time work as a lawyer for 12 of them. As the OP does I just get the hell on with it.

Exactly

Or thinks its fine when there are redundancies and it's weirdly coincidental that all the disabled people are made redundant

Exactly

I don’t think anyone has said anything like that. Most people including op are posting about their own experiences of mental illness. Maybe try to engage in the discussion without trying to demonize those who say things you don’t agree with.

Listen to this person, OP. Please get help. What you’re describing isn’t sustainable.

On some of the other things discussed in this thread: I’m lucky in that I’m (so far) able to hold down a good full time job with my anxiety relatively controlled through medication. But I have had a couple of periods where I was absolutely not able to do my job (which requires a lot of concentration). Getting signed off for these periods was not a choice. Those who have been less lucky than me and stayed that unwell or worse for longer periods very much have my sympathy.