People who work have anxiety too

[Fedupandgrump]

Anyone else on the verge of a breakdown with work, kids, mortgage and cost of living?

I’ve read a lot of threads recently about people with mental health conditions worried about being forced into employment when they feel as though they would not be able to cope. Whilst I sympathise, it’s come at a time where I am completely overwhelmed, burnt out and wonder how the fuck I’m going to get through the week. I treat myself to a half hour sob in Sainsburys car park every couple of days and I wake up every morning with dread, fear and anxiety about what the day will hold. However, I go and work because I. Have. No. Choice. I have two kids and a mad dog that relies on me and my husband to keep our shit together and a roof over our heads. Every day I can feel my heart racing and I feel permanently like I’m in fight or flight mode and I wonder if this is going to lead to a premature heart attack in my 30’s.

I sometimes feel like people who don’t work due to poor mental health thinks those of us who do work, are suffering less than them. I know IAMBU but I can’t help the way I feel at the minute.

I really hope you find some peace and healing.

Currently going through counselling, six sessions you get and that's that.
Need more?
You pay privately for it.
Can't do that?

Well, tough, struggle on.

Five sessions in, not even touched on the biggest thing that's happened because for that level of discussion/admission/breakdown you need to know them, and you need to trust your counsellor. That takes a good few sessions. So by the time you get to trust, you've run out of talking time and you're on your own again.

I agree with you and honestly I have days I don’t even know how I survive the day . This being said I think people on pip must be very ill to get help . Or at least that’s the idea I have. My oldest has severe autism , non verbal , needs help with everything , never will be independent and they still made us jump through hoops . Last year I finally asked UC for him , he never had any but with the cost of living and his allergies I was struggling , he is 22 now so went ahead and as his appointee requested UC , they still made him wait 4 months for a work assessment, despite the lady at the job centre even apologising as in her words it’s obvious he can’t work and he gets high pip on care and mobility . They still made us have interviews that I had to attend and take time off my work to do . The system is a joke .

Speaking from professional experience, the mental health crisis is real. But there is a wide range of mental health presentations and the majority do not fall under the not being able to function/ work category.

Less than 1% of the population in England or 500,000 people- are on the Serious Mental Illness (SMI) register - these are people with Schizophrenia, psychosis , treatment resistant depression, etc. But some of them are still working - my local mental health trust has a very successful employment broker service which gets 50% of referrals into work and keeps them in a job- with lots of readiness prep and ongoing support. Employment is a protective factor for many with SMI, but many more will never be able to work and I think most taxpayers understand and support the need for them to get welfare and housing.

But this means a lot of the people who are not in work due to mental health will have diagnosed mild to moderate mental health issues, which don’t qualify for secondary care in the NHS. I know each case is unique but it’s difficult to understand why large numbers in this category would be off work permanently. But the numbers suggest that they are.

It is therefore worth looking into why these people can’t work, if it’s only temporary is there more support needed and how they can get back into work. It’s not fair to them or society to let the numbers grow as they are. So I would support extra spending to get this group working and more regular reviews of benefits- with safeguards in place for those who really can’t work.

My mother suffered crippling anxiety and yes, there is no way she could have worked. She found it difficult to care herself a lot of the time let alone leave the house.

So it sickened me last year when a colleague of mine took 8 weeks off right over the school holidays citing ‘mental health issues’ when I know for a fact that he was struggling for childcare and it was easier to go on the sick.

It’s so easy to fake mental health issues, GPs and occupation nurses have to tiptoe around people who claim they have ‘anxiety and depression’ for fear of discrimination. I know of a few people who fancy a bit of time off and they go off with stress.

It makes me sick, especially when I know that if they were genuine they wouldn’t be able to function. My colleague managed to do quite a lot of nice things over the summer with his son.

I think a lot of the time it’s the job itself and not the general fact you’re working. I’ve always been an introvert but had never experienced anxiety until a few years ago. I had one massive panic attack in a social situation and I felt so out of control. Most likely no one else really noticed or thought anything of it but I was so petrified of it happening again. It had been completely out the blue and I didn’t see it coming but was triggered by being centre of attention in my job (teacher). For months I continually forced myself into work and all these situations I found deeply uncomfortable. I ended up going to the doctor for medication and was given beta blockers. At my worst point I was taking them on the drive into work in the morning and then usually at break time and lunch time too. Plus a cry at lunch and on the drive home. One day after school the phone in my classroom rang and I knew it would be a parent phoning to complain about the violent child in my class. The management did nothing to help and I felt like I was constantly dodging bullets with the parents waiting on someone complaining as if it was my fault, the class was complete carnage a lot of the time due to this behaviour. The phone rang that day and just the sound of one single ring made my blood pressure shoot up, my heart felt like it was going to come out my chest and I lost all ability to speak.

A few days later there was yet another violent incident where a chair was thrown in my class and a fight broke out. I called for help and even sent a child running to the office for someone. At the end of the school day loads of my colleagues came to see if I was okay. Not one member of management did. I couldn’t live in that state any longer and just very quietly packed up my things, went home and phoned to say I was off with stress for the foreseeable.

I never went back. I’ve not had a single panic attack since. I still work but from home, doing something I actually have control of, where things can’t be sprung on me at any moment and no one is out to get me. It’s not easy but there is always another option. Don’t spend your life waiting on a heart attack happening

I have an interesting perspective on this (in my opinion, anyway!) as someone who has been treated for anxiety in the past, and who also has a family member with mental health issues. I never took time off work when I was having problems, but my relative was signed off.

While we would both fall under the umbrella of having 'mental health issues' in one way or another, there is a spectrum - just like any other health condition. I was like the OP describes in her first post. Totally overwhelmed, crying in the toilet at work, hoping I would get physically ill and hospitalised so I could have a 'break', unable to keep up with basic things like cleaning my house, trouble sleeping, feeling sick with nerves all day. I continued to work as being at work didn't actively make me worse. Sure, it was difficult to work some days, but overall work wasn't a net negative for me. It provided some distraction occasionally. CBT a little bit helpful for me, and medication took the edge off.

My relative's mental health issues present in different ways. If overstressed she can have fits or become partially paralysed. Sometimes it strays into psychosis. Interacting with people specifically makes things worse and has lead to suicide attempts.

My point is, two people can look similar on paper, but in reality, their conditions might not have a huge amount in common. I'm sorry you are struggling, and life should not be set up in such a way that forces everyone to run around like headless chickens 24/7 as that will push many people to breaking point. I think many people would be happier and healthier if life was less expensive and people could afford to work less.

Removing benefits from people with mental health issues won't do anything to alleviate this problem. In the worst case scenario it will lead to homelessness or suicide attempts, and in the best case scenario one more person will forced to seek work and make the already dire job market even worse for people who actually can work without it impacting their health.

Op I'm sorry you feel this way, but people who suffer from anxiety/mental health issues simply are not capable of work and it can happen to people who don't have a choice but to work because they have kids, homes etc.

I have two examples, one of them me: I was so bad that I could not force myself to go to a jobcentre appointment, even tho I knew that will get me sanctioned and the loss of income will mean I will be kicked out and become homeless because I can't pay my rent. Guess what, I knew the consequences and still couldn't do it. I was 3 days away from being made homeless before a friend's kindness saved me.

Sexond example is my friend's mother, single mom with 3 kids who one day stopped getting out of bed due to depression, so obviously the kids were not being taken care of, social services got involved etc.

What non disabled people realise is it is not a choice, that is why it is a disability. It is like asking a person with broken legs to walk because if they don't walk their kids will lose their home. THEY PHYSICALLY CAN'T! That is what having severe mental health issues is like.

The more I think about it the less sense this framing makes. By all means be mad at the system that works us into the ground, i think respective of mental illness. But where's the sense in being mad at the people who couldn't cope anymore?

Well I think you’re amazing. To keep going and working despite these huge challenges is seriously impressive and a credit to how strong you and your support network are. I wish you wouldn’t face the stigma and you could be open with work colleagues, I’d be proud to work with you

I was like you. Worked through huge stress and depression until one day my brain left me. 3 years almost catatonic. Gradually making it back. Can't leave the house. Can't cook socialise, read, most of the time can't speak to friends or family. Hate every minute of living like this.

I grew up in the uk but my family are from a developing country. People don’t get money from the government for mental health issues. If they can’t work, they need to rely on family or, if desperate, charity. But most people can do something.

In the uk it’s not so simple imo that all people on benefits are the most deserving and the most ill. Of course many are, but not all. I think a previous poster was right that getting into work would be helpful to some people who don’t work.

I have been off work with mental illness, I went back reluctantly as i would go onto zero pay. Actually it did help me going back again. It might not help everyone of course but certainly some would benefit.

people need to stop being so abusive when others have a different opinion. Calling people “thick” etc etc just isn’t on.

I think the main reason is workplaces are so horrible now.

I was a teacher for years. Anxiety and depression managed by anti depressants for about 17 years.

But the pressure kept ramping up. Targers, Ofsted, workload etc etc

I just got worse and worse and became untreatable. I got ill health retirement eventually.

But l liked teaching and was good at it. The A level results dropped noticeably when l left.

Its the pressure of work that’s the issue now. Some voluntary places do the whole pm thing. Just why?

It’s an NHS register- not government. The register is held by individual GP practices of their patients with SMI and they report numbers nationally (don’t worry they don’t report your name or personal identifying details).

Agree. I think most people would be surprised what they were capable of if the alternative was having zero money.

For many it would be the thing that tipped them over the edge to suicide.

if your that ill it’s never going to be as simple as “just find a job”

I still couldn’t walk more than 10 yards and not be reliant on a wheelchair whether l had PIP or not.

Yes, I could just summon up a few £k, get some business sense, be able to drive, and fucking get a coffee van like it was that easy to do so.

I think sometimes it helps too to push yourself even when mentally struggling. Not always but sometimes it can be beneficial in the long run. It can help build resilience and a feeling of accomplishment. Ultimately some sort of work is often really helpful to mental health.

Exactly. If they stopped my DH's PIP tomorrow, it wouldn't suddenly put his incurable condition into reverse.

Will my eyes and legs suddenly miraculously start working again if someone threatens me with starvation 😮

I wonder why the NHS never offered that option instead of physical therapy

Wierd...

And once again, where are the jobs and the nice employers who take on disabled people without any issues....

For some people with mental health issues making themselves eat every day takes more resilience than it takes the average person to go to work

Maybe for a few but for others it could set them on the road to recovery or at least improvement. As I said, I went back to work although I was still signed off by the gp for financial reasons. It ultimately helped me and was the thing that turned it around for me.

There are no simple answers here and one solution won’t work for everyone but work is generally recognized as having an overall positive effect on mental health.

I'm really sorry that you are going through such a hard time.

But for many people, having a mental breakdown isn't optional. They can't choose to battle on because they need to, and sometimes they lose their jobs/businesses/homes if the right support isn't available.

I worked at a debt management charity for a while and spoke to far too many people who's whole lives had imploded because they couldn't do as you described. Their mental illness meant that they couldn't drag themselves to work every day. Or it meant they performed badly enough to be fired.