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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to never speak to him again?!

99 replies

Saraw123 · 30/04/2024 11:15

i have been in a relationship for just under a year now, it was his birthday a few days ago. I brought him a present and a card etc which I assumed would be enough. He made it very clear when I arrived at his house that this was his birthday weekend 🙄 and he expected me to take him out, preferably to a hotel in our town and have a meal and drinks. This would cost a lot, which he said he shouldn’t have to pay for as it’s his birthday, I explained I don’t have that sort of money especially with my children’s birthdays coming up. He had a complete meltdown and said I’d ruined it all and how could I make no effort. For context I didn’t even get a present for ny birthday, taken out or anything also Valentine’s Day never happened too. He was acting like a complete baby and even got in a hissy fit when I said I didn’t have £40 spare for a takeaway (that only he wanted). Said that his exs did a lot more, said he doesn’t arrange or pay for his own things on his birthday and he can’t believe I’d expect a present and a card to be enough. He is 26 years old and it’s absolutely given me the total ick so I left and have blocked him on everything but he keeps using no caller id now and has text off his friends phone saying how he doesn’t trust me and how I have made it clear I don’t love him. This has really shocked me so I blocked that number too.

I am being right aren’t I in saying that a grown man should not expect his girlfriend who has children and works part time/pays a lot of rent to pamper him on his birthday when I get nothing in return anyway?

OP posts:
marzipanlover81 · 30/04/2024 11:16

unfathomable you’re even asking

and i wouldn’t want this sort of person ever ever ever in my children’s lives

Saraw123 · 30/04/2024 11:16

He also has thousands in the bank and had 600 in his wallet when we had this argument, so a lot more than I have

OP posts:
Saraw123 · 30/04/2024 11:16

He hasn’t met my children! Found it too early and glad he hasn’t now.

OP posts:
marzipanlover81 · 30/04/2024 11:17

Saraw123 · 30/04/2024 11:16

He also has thousands in the bank and had 600 in his wallet when we had this argument, so a lot more than I have

irrelevant

TheShellBeach · 30/04/2024 11:17

Jeez, no. You're well rid of this one.
Well done on blocking him.

flipent · 30/04/2024 11:17

The double standards is enough for me.

If he didn't take you out on your birthday 'weekend' why does he think you should be taking him out?

Passmetheaero · 30/04/2024 11:18

He sounds fucking pathetic

TheShellBeach · 30/04/2024 11:18

marzipanlover81 · 30/04/2024 11:17

irrelevant

It isn't irrelevant.
He has a lot more money than the OP yet he expected her to treat him.

MaltipooMama · 30/04/2024 11:19

Yes you absolutely are in the right, he sounds like a spiteful, high maintenance drama queen!

Dareisayiseethesunshine · 30/04/2024 11:19

Sponging dickhead. Block and delete op.
Sounds like he would end up like my exh.. Ruined my 40 th by huffing and puffing the guests hadn't left as he wanted to game. The game he insisted I buy him as it wasn't fair my birthday was all about him. He was 35... Divorced before I was 41. My choice.

Haydenn · 30/04/2024 11:19

Grabby wee fucker. I think you might be dating my ex.

marzipanlover81 · 30/04/2024 11:20

TheShellBeach · 30/04/2024 11:18

It isn't irrelevant.
He has a lot more money than the OP yet he expected her to treat him.

irrelevant insofar whether he was a millionaire or a pauper…. his behaviour would have been enough for me to turn on my heel and never see him again

Haydenn · 30/04/2024 11:20

Saraw123 · 30/04/2024 11:16

He also has thousands in the bank and had 600 in his wallet when we had this argument, so a lot more than I have

Ohh wait, definitely not my ex then 🤣.

Saraw123 · 30/04/2024 11:25

That was my argument and I’ve never had anyone even the father of my children who I was with for years ask for so much of me! Absolutely horrible and he’s put me right off! My birthday he didn’t even mention a weekend let alone doing anything!

OP posts:
exomoon · 30/04/2024 11:28

What a twat! Well done for not giving in and spending the money on him.

Did you remind him that he didn’t even get you a card or present on your birthday? What did he say?

Onetiredbeing · 30/04/2024 11:28

More fool you for buying him something when he didn't bother with yours! Why would you do something for him when he showed you exactly how little you mean?? That should have been the way out right there.

paintingvenice · 30/04/2024 11:29

My ex, always wanted a big event for his birthday. A trip abroad or holiday, along with gifts and the like. Over time it gave me the ick- it struck me as quite childlike and bratty that they thought their birthday was such an event. Can you really face this palaver year in year out?

exomoon · 30/04/2024 11:29

I was watching a documentary on TV where a woman described how the new man she was seeing insisted on a present and took her to a shop and told her to buy him a £400 jacket!

In that situation she felt forced into buying the coat and then blocked and deleted him.

These cocklodgers are a menace to women.

Saraw123 · 30/04/2024 11:30

Definitely not something I’ll do again! Genuinely believed he’d be happy with a present and card off me plus my company!

I did remind him and he just said that was months ago etc and said nothing at all really about it, just went on about himself to be honest!

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 30/04/2024 11:31

Op, of course you're not being unreasonable to never speak to him again.

But what you really really need to work on, is how on Earth did you need to ask this, and how did you miss what I'm sure will have been many previous red flags?

exomoon · 30/04/2024 11:33

Saraw123 · 30/04/2024 11:30

Definitely not something I’ll do again! Genuinely believed he’d be happy with a present and card off me plus my company!

I did remind him and he just said that was months ago etc and said nothing at all really about it, just went on about himself to be honest!

If yours was months ago then he should have been grateful you got him a gift, as it was only your first year together.

Expecting a gift AND a weekend of meals and outings at your expense is greedy as fuck.

Did you take your present pack by any chance?

SiobhanSharpe · 30/04/2024 11:34

Is he six? Absolute wanker. You're well rid.

Jillybloop393 · 30/04/2024 11:36

Run. Just run - you've had a lucky escape!

ToxicChristmas · 30/04/2024 11:39

Urgh, he sounds awful. So glad you've got rid of him and blocked -it's amazing he is still trying to contact you to make his point 😂.

Saraw123 · 30/04/2024 11:39

Id never expect that off anyone. It’s such an ick

OP posts: