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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to never speak to him again?!

99 replies

Saraw123 · 30/04/2024 11:15

i have been in a relationship for just under a year now, it was his birthday a few days ago. I brought him a present and a card etc which I assumed would be enough. He made it very clear when I arrived at his house that this was his birthday weekend 🙄 and he expected me to take him out, preferably to a hotel in our town and have a meal and drinks. This would cost a lot, which he said he shouldn’t have to pay for as it’s his birthday, I explained I don’t have that sort of money especially with my children’s birthdays coming up. He had a complete meltdown and said I’d ruined it all and how could I make no effort. For context I didn’t even get a present for ny birthday, taken out or anything also Valentine’s Day never happened too. He was acting like a complete baby and even got in a hissy fit when I said I didn’t have £40 spare for a takeaway (that only he wanted). Said that his exs did a lot more, said he doesn’t arrange or pay for his own things on his birthday and he can’t believe I’d expect a present and a card to be enough. He is 26 years old and it’s absolutely given me the total ick so I left and have blocked him on everything but he keeps using no caller id now and has text off his friends phone saying how he doesn’t trust me and how I have made it clear I don’t love him. This has really shocked me so I blocked that number too.

I am being right aren’t I in saying that a grown man should not expect his girlfriend who has children and works part time/pays a lot of rent to pamper him on his birthday when I get nothing in return anyway?

OP posts:
Shan5474 · 30/04/2024 14:25

What a horrible man to make zero effort for you but expect to be treated like a king when his own birthday comes!! Sounds like a complete man child having an entitled meltdown.
However I think you should break up with him properly instead of just blocking him, even if it’s a message or brief phone call. You’ve been together a year and you are an adult, not immature like him

MILTOBE · 30/04/2024 14:36

What a loser. I wouldn't speak to him again.

MartinsSpareCalculator · 30/04/2024 14:42

I'm all for making a fuss for birthdays and greatly appreciate it myself. But I'd feel mortified if my partner spent money he didn't have to spend on frivolous shite for my birthday when there's a million and one ways to celebrate cheaply or for free.

I'd be a bit disappointed if my partner just gave me a card and gift. But our norm is to do something. That clearly wasn't your norm if he ignored your birthday.

Lurkingandlearning · 30/04/2024 14:45

So he suspects you are a thief.

please tell us you’ve ended it with him.

Terrribletwos · 30/04/2024 14:47

He sounds completely deranged!

Absolutely do not have anything to do with him again!

WoodBurningStov · 30/04/2024 14:50

Well done for blocking him. What a horrid man child

IrelandSummer · 30/04/2024 14:56

Reading about some of the crap women put up with from partners on here, it’s very refreshing that you have blocked him straightaway after this!

LeaveTheClocksAlone · 30/04/2024 15:02

saying how he doesn’t trust me and how I have made it clear I don’t love him

"Correct, I don't love you. Now fuck off and don't bother me again or I'll have you done for harassment you freeloading cunt!" 🤣

BobbyBiscuits · 30/04/2024 15:02

How rude, childish and bizarre! Lots of people are flush on their birthday with gift money so often choose to treat their friends or partners! Or if you were to offer to take him out then he should happily accept. Not 'I want this now as my ex's always bought me it'. More like his mum most probably. Lol
Even if you did take him out, it's only fair if he is prepared to do the same for you.
Keep him blocked. He sounds like a spoilt little brat. Almost reminds me of the main character from 'people just do nothing' but without the humour. No woman deserves a mug like that.

Gettingbysomehow · 30/04/2024 15:08

What a spoilt bastard. I'd have laughed in his face.

GerbilsForever24 · 30/04/2024 15:28

The weirdest bit is that he's hounding yo becuase apparently you "don't really love him". No shit sherlock. You just left in the middle of his birthday and blocked him.

YOu definitely dodged a bullet there OP.

LoveWine123 · 30/04/2024 15:39

Omg he sounds deranged. Like mentally not stable. Has he ever acted like that before? It’s strange you’ve been together for a year and you only see this behaviour now. Run far away from him and block him on everything.

FlameGrilledSquirrel · 30/04/2024 15:44

When even the oddballs on here don't vote YABU, then you certainly aren't BU.

Seriously, dump the fool.

ToxicChristmas · 30/04/2024 15:46

GerbilsForever24 · 30/04/2024 15:28

The weirdest bit is that he's hounding yo becuase apparently you "don't really love him". No shit sherlock. You just left in the middle of his birthday and blocked him.

YOu definitely dodged a bullet there OP.

That's the part for me too. I can't figure out if it's an attempt at control, manipulation, or if he's just a bit dim.

marzipanlover81 · 30/04/2024 15:48

TallulahBetty · 30/04/2024 11:49

Yes you are.

OP, YADNBU

see my first post
see follow up post
🙄

marzipanlover81 · 30/04/2024 15:49

He got you nothing for your birthday

and you went ahead and spent money on him?!

marzipanlover81 · 30/04/2024 15:51

ToxicChristmas · 30/04/2024 15:46

That's the part for me too. I can't figure out if it's an attempt at control, manipulation, or if he's just a bit dim.

i’d hedge a bet that’s it’s both

A stupid man who would be a dangerous manipulator if he had the brain power

Saintmariesleuth · 30/04/2024 15:54

I'd look at it as a lucky escape! He sounds greedy and selfish, not to mention a complete brat.

Keep him blocked. We'll done for standing up to him.

StormingNorman · 30/04/2024 15:55

Bloody man-child.

2catsandhappy · 30/04/2024 16:00

Similar from an ex. Only he wanted a weekend in France! From a single mum.
Bullet dodged op.

marzipanlover81 · 30/04/2024 16:03

i’d too would look at it’s a lucky escape.

I wouldn’t want my children in the care of anyone who didn’t want to be with him

marzipanlover81 · 30/04/2024 16:04

marzipanlover81 · 30/04/2024 16:03

i’d too would look at it’s a lucky escape.

I wouldn’t want my children in the care of anyone who didn’t want to be with him

sorry wrong thread

Greywitch2 · 30/04/2024 16:30

If he texts again to say 'You clearly don't love me,' then reply, 'You are correct. I don't even like you after your appalling behaviour. I have no idea why you are still trying to contact me after I have blocked you and made it plain I do not wish to ever speak to you again, but if you do so once more then I will consider it harassment and report you to the police. I hope that it now clear to you. Goodbye'.

Nanny0gg · 30/04/2024 16:32

he keeps using no caller id now and has text off his friends phone saying how he doesn’t trust me and how I have made it clear I don’t love him. This has really shocked me so I blocked that number too.

I'd have replied that he was right, I didn't. And who could love a spoilt, grabby child like him anyway?

unsync · 30/04/2024 16:36

I hope you've dumped him now. No one will ever love him as much as he does.