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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to never speak to him again?!

99 replies

Saraw123 · 30/04/2024 11:15

i have been in a relationship for just under a year now, it was his birthday a few days ago. I brought him a present and a card etc which I assumed would be enough. He made it very clear when I arrived at his house that this was his birthday weekend 🙄 and he expected me to take him out, preferably to a hotel in our town and have a meal and drinks. This would cost a lot, which he said he shouldn’t have to pay for as it’s his birthday, I explained I don’t have that sort of money especially with my children’s birthdays coming up. He had a complete meltdown and said I’d ruined it all and how could I make no effort. For context I didn’t even get a present for ny birthday, taken out or anything also Valentine’s Day never happened too. He was acting like a complete baby and even got in a hissy fit when I said I didn’t have £40 spare for a takeaway (that only he wanted). Said that his exs did a lot more, said he doesn’t arrange or pay for his own things on his birthday and he can’t believe I’d expect a present and a card to be enough. He is 26 years old and it’s absolutely given me the total ick so I left and have blocked him on everything but he keeps using no caller id now and has text off his friends phone saying how he doesn’t trust me and how I have made it clear I don’t love him. This has really shocked me so I blocked that number too.

I am being right aren’t I in saying that a grown man should not expect his girlfriend who has children and works part time/pays a lot of rent to pamper him on his birthday when I get nothing in return anyway?

OP posts:
Saraw123 · 30/04/2024 11:40

He expected me to spend more on his birthday than my own children and they’re 7&8😭

OP posts:
Saraw123 · 30/04/2024 11:42

I’d actually forgot the worst part! Just as I was waiting for my taxi to go home he quickly grabbed his wallet off his side and said I won’t leave that around you! I’ve never asked for a penny the cheeky shit

OP posts:
exomoon · 30/04/2024 11:45

Saraw123 · 30/04/2024 11:42

I’d actually forgot the worst part! Just as I was waiting for my taxi to go home he quickly grabbed his wallet off his side and said I won’t leave that around you! I’ve never asked for a penny the cheeky shit

He clearly judged you by his own morals, so I think he would have stolen from you if given the chance.

I would report him to 101 as a crook and for harassment.

TallulahBetty · 30/04/2024 11:49

marzipanlover81 · 30/04/2024 11:17

irrelevant

Yes you are.

OP, YADNBU

KreedKafer · 30/04/2024 11:49

marzipanlover81 · 30/04/2024 11:17

irrelevant

It isn't irrelevant - it is very relevant that he is much wealthier than the OP but still did NOTHING for her on her birthday, but expects her to spend huge amounts of money on him.

@Saraw123, this man sounds completely nuts and you should absolutely never speak to him again.

If you haven't already, tell him very coldly and formally that you do not wish to hear from him via any channel ever again, and that if he keeps contacting you, you will consider it to be harassment.

wompwomp · 30/04/2024 12:39

He's a fucking weirdo

PonyPatter44 · 30/04/2024 12:43

He sounds a right weirdo, and its pretty obvious why he has plenty of exes! You dodged a bullet here, OP, hopefully he will get tired of messaging you soon and go onto the next victim.

MissMillyFluff · 30/04/2024 12:47

The only way you're being unreasonable is because you went out with this immature brat in the first place. Run for the hills, you're worth more than that.

wompwomp · 30/04/2024 12:48

If fir whatever reason you end up communicating it's throw at him that there is something seriously fucked up about a man who does nothing at all for his partners birthday but throws a petulant toddler tantrum when she buys him a single gift and demands she take him out for an entire birthday weekend.
It's so odd that it's actually quite frightening.
It's sooooo fucked up I can't understand how you didn't see signs of his weirdness before. Only you did when he didn't treat you on your birthday.

savethatkitty · 30/04/2024 12:54

You know the answer!

What a man baby, having a tantrum. I feel the ick. You are well rid of this immature, selfish geezer. Bullet dodged.

PineappleTime · 30/04/2024 12:54

Ugh what a gross baby! You're well rid!

exomoon · 30/04/2024 12:55

TallulahBetty · 30/04/2024 11:49

Yes you are.

OP, YADNBU

😂

Well said.

Noseybookworm · 30/04/2024 13:28

He sounds like a spoilt baby 😂 hope you've dumped him permanently and left him to his tantrums!

EatCrow · 30/04/2024 13:31

Make me wonder why you stayed with him for so long.

betterangels · 30/04/2024 13:31

Why isn't he already in the bin? He sounds pathetic.

Spirallingdownwards · 30/04/2024 13:32

It's no wonder his exes (that he says did do this and pander to his nonsense) have chosen to be his exes!

Run, girl, and keep on running! 🏃‍♀️

Randomname83738 · 30/04/2024 13:34

Oh my goodness, so icky. Gross!!!

Fromage · 30/04/2024 13:35

omg what a baby

glad you have blocked him on everything

hope he gets the message soon

wonder why his exes were his exes......

ClemmyTine · 30/04/2024 13:36

He sounds like a user.

NigelHarmansNewWife · 30/04/2024 13:40

Bullet dodged. Ignore him. How pathetic.

desperatedaysareover · 30/04/2024 13:40

OP, he is so out of order it’s actually quite funny. I hope you took the present when you left 😜

newnamethanks · 30/04/2024 13:48

Revolting OP, what an utter infant. Send him home to Mummy who clearly knows how to treat a little boy on his birthday. You've been saved.

Stressyfab · 30/04/2024 13:53

What a charmer he is! 🤢

gettingbackonit23 · 30/04/2024 13:59

Ugh where did you find this loser?

Brefugee · 30/04/2024 14:15

marzipanlover81 · 30/04/2024 11:17

irrelevant

not irrelevant given that OP had said she couldn't afford it and that he gave her zip for her birthday.

it is the sign of a tightwad at the very least and one to be avoided.

Stay strong, OP.