To ask you why you had children?

[fluffyjacketpotato]

What made you think you'd be a good parent?
And what made you want to have a child?

This.

Biology. suddenly NEEDED to have a baby. I've never had it before then, and never had it since (I'm One and Done)

I am the classic eldest daughter who did a lot of childcare for younger siblings and needed a break. I also didn't have the kindest childhood.

But in my late 30s I felt I couldn't dilly-dally any longer, and have been so surprised to have absolutely loved it. I suddenly felt that my old identity as given by my parents of 'no self-esteem and that's how we like it to stay Drebara' was usurped by my new one as 'Baby Drebara's mother'. I have done things very differently from, and very much kinder than, my own parents and found it very healing. I have been lucky and am very aware that some people do not get this chance. Lucky, lucky me.

I had no real desire to have a baby at all. No impulse as others have described. I got pregnant by accident at 36. Thought if I didn’t have the baby I probably wouldn’t. Imagined myself at 45 wishing that I’d had a child. Had an awful pregnancy and birth but love my DD more than I can describe. I don’t love being a mum, it doesn’t define me. The early years are exhausting and I’ve had many times I’ve longed for my old life. I’m a totally single parent too so that makes it hard. However DD is now 7 and things are so much easier. We have great weekends, she’s wonderful. You may not enjoy all of it but you will love your child so much.

Reread your post. Uniited in a way, etc, etc,..
Yes, it implies what I posted previously

Don't be ridiculous. The op wittered about a couple being united by a child in the 'way that those without cildren cant', or words to that effect, which is bloody pathetic

Ffs what?

Honestly (and I’ve never told anyone this in real life) - I have ASD and having babies is an obsession and I can’t stop that’s why I’ve had (so many) children . I adore them all but can’t wait for menopause to stop me !

I knew I wanted one ..life didn't believe that until I fell pregnant aged 40 and had dc aged 41... honestly best thing dh and I managed...dc is amazing and gives us so much...I'm grateful every day ..

I don’t know why. Something I ask myself regularly.

No rational reason really, I’ve just always wanted a baby. I knew I’d be a good mum because I had no interest in doing anything else so I knew I’d give it 100%. I have no hobbies or interests really outside my son and I’m fine with that because he’s all I’ve ever wanted.

I always knew I wanted children, and although babies freaked me out, I loved spending time with other people's children, and several of my previous jobs involved working with kids. A lot of my friends and family were good parents with lovely children, so I felt that I had good examples to follow and people to ask for advice. It was still nerve-wracking making the decision to move from "someday" to "now".

That’s not what pp said or implied and if you genuinely don’t understand that you should work on your reading comprehension before participating in an open forum

I never thought I wanted children. I never felt broody and couldn't understand what that felt like.

Then I got a dog at 28 and my hormones went mental and I knew I'd regret not having children if I could. It was like a switch had been flipped.

Contraception failure 🤦‍♀️😂

I thought I'd be a great parent because I'd watched loads of Super Nanny 😬

I didn't want children really. My first was a surprise to me not sure why..I didn't have one clue about babies. Like a PP I'd never even held one. My own Mum died when I was a baby so I had no points of reference and MIL wasn't over friendly. My husband was useless and no help. I just had to soldier on but I loved and adored this little being and did my best and I guess to be fair she was an easy lovely baby. I had 2 more after and improved each time. By my third I left behind scales, health visitors et al and ploughed on - it was amazing. They're grown up now with life experiences of their own and I couldn't love them more.

I just knew I wanted them. I met DH who already had a gorgeous 4 year old. One of my first questions was whether he would want more. I wouldn't have considered a LTR with him if he said no!

I've 3 kids, all planned, very much wanted and yearned for, and wobbled over every one of them. It's totally normal. I'm very maternal, love kids and think I'm a good mum and I had good few moments of 'what have I done!!!'

I think everyone has a wobble during pregnancy about what parenthood will be like and if you are up to the task. I know I did and my friends have told me that they had the same feeling of panic! I wanted to be a parent because I wanted to raise a child and to build a family. I actually did not expect to enjoy the baby stage, I had no doubt I would love my baby but I felt that the baby stage was something I would just need to get through in order to have a little human by my side. But I shocked myself by absolutely adoring the baby phase. My DS is now one and honestly I can not wait to watch him continue to grow and to become his own person.

So I could pay someone a pound to tickle my arm and brush my hair 😂😂 seriously I always knew I wanted to be a mum, provide a caring loving home life. For me having children was completely natural and was always going to be part of my life

I felt like I had a duty to have children. I am intelligent enough and am happy, am married to someone equally content and from an uncomplicated background. The chances were high that we would have children who would go on to have happy lives and to be contributing members of society. The world needs people, believe it or not, and all of my children are just gorgeous in every single way and I am so pleased we had them. I’m enjoying watching them grow up so much, even now in the teenage years. Having children is an incredible part of the human experience and I feel like if you have space in your life for a child and can love them in all the ways required to give them a happy life, you should do it.

FOMO

I thought I'd be a bit of a shit parent....BUT, DH desperately wanted a child. And I thought he'd be a great dad, so it would even out my incompetence. It's been a learning curve ever since

I think mainly because I thought it would be really interesting and it was a worthwhile mission in some way. And it has been.

@fluffyjacketpotato I'm not terribly 'maternal' and never felt at home with babies/small children but still wanted to do it and I've still been OK at it.

That you're worried about being a good parent is a good sign - if you were just going 'I'll be rubbish at it but, meh, doesn't matter', that'd be worrying. But don't worry about it too much. The important thing is that you will be good enough and that is all you need to be. Also, please don't worry about 'What if I don't get the massive rush of love looking at my newborn that you're supposed to get?' Not everyone gets it, I didn't get it, but I do still love my kids.

I realised why my school uniform was feeling tight