It's a Plane Etiquette one!! Was I AIBU?

[Belladonna90]

Night flight back from the US.
Cabin crew do meal service at around 4am (UK time) around 11pm (US). I'm hoping not to go to bed when I land (so can beat the jet lag and not stay in US time!). In economy class and have the blanket over my head so I can sleep (need the 'room' to be as dark as possible'). I had my seat reclined in the belief that chicken or beef would not be served at this time. How wrong I was! Cabin Crew passes me with meal trolley (happily doesn't disturb me to ask whether I want a meal...at that time absolutely not!). However, when she is asking the passenger behind me she reclines my seat back up which startled the life out of me as I was jostled back up!! I was so annoyed as I was fast asleep. I can understand for a safety related issue if she needed to do that for example for landing but for a service related issue it seemed completely rude of her. Was I wrong to challenge her and ask why she did that?? She told me for service all seats must be in the upright position....

@exomoon and there's absolutely nothing unpleasant about this comment from the OP is there:
What is even more ghastly are people who get on a plane and eat and drink all around them just to get their money's worth.

I've flown Emirates regularly and they stopped providing those 'wake me for food' stickers years ago.
My husband hates it as he gets really hungry so wants the meal but has to wait to sleep until its served or risk missing it.
In the last few years we have travelled with Emirates, Qatar & Etihad and they all ask people to move their seat to upright when food service is happening.
I just don't think you can expect anymore that you can recline your seat for an entire flight.
I think it was rude that she didn't attempt to wake you before moving your seat though. We've flown BA once long haul and my husband said never again. They really aren't in the same league.

Re BA, Emirates and Singapore Airlines, I’ve travelled on all of them and seats upright for meals is standard in economy.

My one complaint re Singapore Airlines was that their drinks round wasn’t done with a trolley of miniatures, I.e. bottles and cans, and they hadn’t a clue how to produce a G&T. Loads of gin, a mere whisper of tonic, no lemon!

This was quite a while ago though - I dare say they’ve got it sussed by now.

This has to be one of the most entitled OPs I've seen.
'So what if the person behind me couldn't eat their meal- my needs come first! In fact, they are a bad person for wanting to eat 'all the time'' (waiting for the OP to inevitably tell us that the lady behind her was fat and therefore not worthy of being treated like a human).

I am one of those ghastly people as I love airplane food!

But she made a general comment whereas people are being nasty specifically about her and her spelling/grammar.

I love how this has evolved into a discussion about airlines' poor G&T service 😂

@exomoon I couldn't care less about spelling and grammar it's entirely irrelevant to the post

Yes, I should have added ‘lighthearted’. 😂

If you are being accurate with your recounting of the timings OP, I agree that 3 hours into a late night red eye is a poor choice to start a meal service. Some people want to sleep, some people want to eat, some people want to eat and sleep, that's why every overnighter I've been on cracked on with the meal as soon as they could. Once cleared up the lights get dimmed and that's the signal to recline and sleep.

But, that is what happened, and the person behind you has every right to have their tiny ration of space to eat their meal. Sorry OP, I understand that it inconvenienced you, but you were inconveniencing someone else following the airlines schedule, so what are they supposed to do?

And I don't think reclining in itself is the issue. Its how its done, with consideration (or lack there of) for other people.

BA crew are generous with their mini bottles of G&T and cans to travel weary mid-lifers in my experience. Couple of those and some Penn State pretzels and I'm happy as Larry. Seat upright or not.

Re timing of meals, on a full economy flight, how long you have to wait for your meal is going to depend at least partly on where you’re sitting - near where one meal trolley starts, or at the arse end - when ‘we are sorry that your choice may not be available’.

I have never forgiven Virgin Airlines for failing to give me my Gü chocolate pudding for dessert. Everyone else got one and I got missed out, and I didn't speak up, as she had disappeared.

Blimey. Not one mention in your posts of the needs or comfort of the person behind you and affected by your reclined seat, OP, just your own.

It was an economy seat on a flight, not a hotel room.

Im a nervous flyer so I’m awake the entire flight, even on a red eye. Meals help break up the monotony and fear so it’s a welcome distraction.

Do try to remember in life we’re not all the same.

The fact they serve food should be enough for you to realise on a practical level it’s impossible for someone to open their table with you reclined into their table space, no matter what part of flight you’re in.

If it was a food-free flight with no service all well and good but such things don’t exist.

Airlines work round the clock and they assume passengers do too, so food, of course, is served. They don’t make any assumptions… unlike a certain someone with a blanket over their head.

The steward probably thought the blanket a little excessive/odd and indeed the reaction received proved them right. They probably thought “got a right one here….”

Unfortunately when you live only for yourself, you may well get a little roughed up as people remind you it’s not all about you.

I’m going to stick my oar in as ex -BA flight crew (waves to former colleagues)

I agree that 3 hours into a late night red eye is a poor choice to start a meal service.

I don’t think anyone planned a meal service three hours in, so either something went wrong on the OPs flight or the narrative is amiss.

Normal routine I saw on those services is as described by @backinthebox and others - airborne and the ovens go on pronto with the aim of getting service done, cabin quiet and some cabin crew away on a break.

Three hours out of JFK eastbound puts you almost mid Atlantic, heading and oft times into daylight.

It's good plane etiquette that seats are not reclined during the meal service. This has been for every single flight I've ever flown, whether flying east or west, across airlines and whether day or night flight.

I always request the seat in front is upright when eating and I always have my seat upright as soon as I know food is being served.

It's impolite not to.

@Vive42

The steward probably thought the blanket a little excessive/odd and indeed the reaction received proved them right. They probably thought “got a right one here….”
They won't have thought anything. It's extremely common for people to do this.

I work as Cabin Crew and have done for over 20 years so I guess that classes me as well travelled too.
I can assure you that it definitely happens.

I mean eating their meal whilst OP’s seat was reclined, after all she was apparently sock on asleep, it may be awkward but it’s not impossible, I have done it. And it is an option that a kind person might consider

If she had been awake then she would probably put her seat up without being asked and as I said she was unreasonable feeling entitled to put the person behind out.

Do you mean that you ask passengers to upright their seats? Or that you upright them for them without asking them?

I think the common denominator may be you.
In my 20+ years of flying, I’ve never treated a woman any differently regardless of which class she’s flying in!
What a ridiculous comment to make.

Tell me you always wanted to be an Air Hostess but got rejected at the interview stage without telling me you wanted to be an Air Hostess!

Asking passengers to upright their seats during the meal and beverage services.
I have had to wake passengers to ask them to do this but I’ve never actually whammed their seat forward…. although I’ve been tempted a few times 🤣🤣🤣
The recline button is the source of many an air rage incident. I do wish they would get rid of it totally like some of the low cost carriers have.

I blame the cabin designers.
If the seats were designed so that the back remained stationary, and the seat part moved forward to provide the recline, there would be less antagonism between passengers.

Ah ok! OP is saying the cabin crew member whammed her seat forward, which is a bit harsh. I think they should have woken her like you do.

Why didn’t you ask the cabin crew to tell the people in front to put their seat upright at least when you were eating.