What do you wish you had known about postpartum, prior to giving birth?

[Tumblingdryer]

This is meant to be lighthearted!

Gave birth to DC1 last week. It was an emergency c-section which already has left me feeling quite emotional! I had never really thought about the postpartum period as was so caught up in being pregnant and I wish I had known more of what to expect.

I wish someone had told me that my digestive system would be completely all over the place after the c-section - I expected constipation but not the other way.

Wish someone has mentioned the night sweats so I could have bought a few changes of sheets!

I wish I knew that I would really miss being pregnant so I could make the most of it. I saw an empty sample pot on the sideboard earlier from my last midwife appointment and sobbed that I’m not pregnant anymore.

Whats one thing you wish you were told or given advice about postpartum?

I wish someone had told me to buy the softest and most expensive toilet paper in the shop.

Andrex was sandpaper. It had to be the fancy Triple Velvet stuff.

Also, that it's ok if you don't get a massive rush of instant maternal love. It's ok if you feel shell shocked and look at the baby like crikey where did you come from?? What am I supposed to do with you now??

I felt really guilty about that for ages.

oh yeah, afterpains, wtf?

'Liver' lumps - a beautiful trail of them from bed to loo as soon as I was unhitched from the cs tubes.

That you’d go from feeling “normal” to an emotional wreck. I hardly slept for a week in hospital and feared for my mental health. After about 9 hours sleep over the course of 7 nights I was hallucinating and it felt like all my nerves were tingling with anxiety, even after we got home.

I also didn’t know I’d have to try breast feeding so soon after birth (emergency c-section) and had no idea what I was supposed to be doing!

DS is now 9 and would love a sibling but the experience put me off having more babies.

Thankfully, my colleague warned me about the sheer quantity of blood and to get puppy pads to sit on, but it was still a nasty shock as to quite how much there was and how long it went on (12 weeks for me, I had a dice sized bit of retained placenta).
And no one tells you that if your baby has to go to SCBU/NICU that no one cares that you just pushed that baby out and are bleeding, you'll have to walk through the hospital to get there and sit in a hard chair by them. It was awful

The overnight boob leakage!! Nothing more sexy than night sweats and soaking wet pjs from your boobs leaking.

that apps like wonder weeks and huckleberry are bollocks. You don’t need to track anything, every baby is unique and do things in their own time

that it’s normal for babies to want to sleep on you all the time and it’s not abnormal that they won’t sleep alone

That some female in-laws will completely blank you when they come and visit '(partner's name) baby'.

Post partum lasts 18 months or more.

That I'd still be having contractions weeks after the birth!

Congratulations OP.

That even three years later I still cry when a baby is born on Call the Midwife.

The insane shivering/shaking post-birth! It was so violent for me I had to ask the midwife to take my baby. I guess it was from the shock of having gone through labour! 😆

I wish someone had told me that babies don’t always just go down into a crib to sleep. Naively, I thought I’d just be able to put him down but my partner and I ended up spending the first two weeks doing shifts of contact naps! It was really difficult trying to transition him to a crib when my partner went back to work.

The blues! I'm a steady and happy person so thought I'd have a handle on it, nope! Didn't help that I had a crap birith, botched induction then EMCS after 4 exhausting days, then a baby who couldn't latch due to a severe tongue tie.

I now know they pass and are a part of many women's early days when the hormones drop, but at the time I felt I'd never be happy ever again despite holding in my arms the most previous ivf boy.

I wish someone had told me it is 'normal' to be amazing wondermum who was up and about,showing off baby and back in my jeans 2 days after giving birth

(I could have done without the nasty comments from my mother)

I wish someone had told me I would still leak breastmilk a year after I'd stopped

In fact I wish some fucker had told me my milk would kick in around day 3-i had tits that dolly Parton would have been jealous of

The bleeding-12 weeks of heavy bleeding-i thought it would be a heavy period

I wish someone had told me that my waters may break in the middle of the night

To relax during labour or it will hurt more (I have very short labours-longest was 2 hours,38 minutes-shortest was 34 minutes)

Someone could have told me that pnd isn't 'normal' but to get help-and to change doctors when the (female) doctor told me there is no such thing and to 'have a nice cup of tea'

Nipple cream is essential

And my first wee would sting like I'd sat in nettles

Ah the joys of babies-they are fully worth it

My Ddad, bless him, thought he’d help by vigorously boiling all my washing from hospital ( he was like a headless chicken, and wanted to be useful) and proudly brought it up to me on the ward…
It was like cardboard!! All the towels were rigid and my pants were solid, nighties were crispy etc.
i could have cried… I did cry when he’d gone home.

the towels were the worst, like Ryvita, and I scrounged some maternity pants from the hospital. I crackled when I moved😄
It took him weeks to not hold baby like a ticking bomb😆

oh yes, the milk I was unable to breastfeed due to medical reasons so was expecting my milk to have dried up fairly quickly especially when I had medication to help. instead, I used breast pads but I leaked like mad; I would be sitting on the sofa by the time I got up a few minutes later my top would be soaked through!

That the day my milk came in would be like the worst PMT, but multiplied by about 200.

The day my first baby was 3 days old, also our first full day at home, I was a wreck and at one point actually threw myself down on the bed screaming in frustration and fear that I couldn't breastfeed my baby and I was totally unprepared to deal with being a mum for the next 18+ years. My husband was really worried about me. My milk came in that evening and the frustrated feelings disappeared. This is what I am like with PMT too, I feel terrible until my period starts and then I'm suddenly ok.

I also forgot to eat that day which didn't help.

It happened again with my second baby but I was prepared for it so it didn't freak us out. I had a warm bath which helped.

I think my NCT leader had said "maybe don't have visitors that day, you might be a little bit teary" but honestly what I experienced was so far beyond that.

Abit gross but a heads up on passing the first bowl - I found that terrifying! It didn’t happen for a few days.

how scrunched up my stomach would look.

The gap between my Ab muscles that I would have to fix before getting back to excercising (I made it worse with my first)

How sore I would feel a few days after - I knew I would hurt but when people said “you forget about the pain” I thought they really meant hours after.

Blocked milk ducts are horrendous but when they release it is amazing. It had been blocked for c24 hours of agony, but when it finally cleared in the shower I watched in fascination as I sprayed milk everywhere - it was like a needle shower head! If it seemed like stopping the lightest of touches kept it going. The relief…

The contractions AFTER birth - WHY?!