What do you wish you had known about postpartum, prior to giving birth?

[Tumblingdryer]

This is meant to be lighthearted!

Gave birth to DC1 last week. It was an emergency c-section which already has left me feeling quite emotional! I had never really thought about the postpartum period as was so caught up in being pregnant and I wish I had known more of what to expect.

I wish someone had told me that my digestive system would be completely all over the place after the c-section - I expected constipation but not the other way.

Wish someone has mentioned the night sweats so I could have bought a few changes of sheets!

I wish I knew that I would really miss being pregnant so I could make the most of it. I saw an empty sample pot on the sideboard earlier from my last midwife appointment and sobbed that I’m not pregnant anymore.

Whats one thing you wish you were told or given advice about postpartum?

Not sure if everyone gets these but I got really painful cramping (womb contracting?) every time I breastfed. It must have gone on for a month or so and felt just like labour contractions.

Edited to say congrats on your little one! 💐

That forever now you have a child, a separate human, to care for, think about, be happy with.
Until last week you were one, now you're two. Much easier last week to zip out & pick up a loaf of bread or visit a friend.
That was a reality for me years ago - without a car too - to remember to schedule in the baby/toddler stuff

I was like you OP in that I had an emergency csection and point blank refused to ever think about the idea I might need a csection. So I did no prep on it at all.

What I wish I knew after my first was to rest and take my pain killers regularly. Oh and take iron tablets regularly too. Even if they make going to the toilet uncomfortable.

I pushed myself too hard too quickly after my first csection. After my second, I pretty much spent two weeks solid in bed or on the sofa.

Have you had baby blues yet? When my friend told me I thought it was a derogatory term for post natal depression but actually realised it’s a time when you are crying for no reason. It’s just all the hormones coming out.

Also get yourself some slip on shoes. I’m 2.5 years in and still wear slip on shoes most of the time. No time for laces!

But it is such a lovely time. Before you know it your stomach will have healed. You’ll be back to wearing underwired bras and your body will be back to normal ish (I’m still a stone overweight but that’s the sleeplessness nights and need for carbs. Not everyone has that).

I had no idea night sweats were a pp thing. With my first I was so exhausted that despite it being summer I'd feel freezing cold, and roll myself up in the duvet, only to wake up an hour later literally dripping with sweat. I always put it down to the thick duvet/summer heat.
Didn't get it with my second.
Mostly I wish I'd been prepared for how utterly shite post partum care is, and very specifically I wish I'd known that expressed colostrum could be kept at room temperature for up to 4 hours. My first night would have been far less traumatic if they'd just bothered to bloody tell me, instead of going along with my efforts to get the syringes in and out of the fridge.

Aww congratulations! I'm so sorry you had a traumatic birth 🦋🩷

Gosh I forgot all about the nightsweats! And just how generally stinky you are as milk comes in/hormones explode etc etc.

After my first, i just wish someone had told me to trust my instincts more and that I'm doing a good job!

Oh to also ignore tracking EVERYTHING on huckleberry/ wake windows/ milestones! They will do it in their own time

That it takes a while to get sensation back in places. I had awful continence issues after giving birth (that was an unpleasant surprise too), and I remember someone trying to talk me through pelvic floor exercises while I tried to work out how I could squeeze when I couldn’t feel anything. Also, that hospitals don’t provide incontinence pads, you have to buy your own which is a bit tough when you can’t walk far without wetting yourself and the hospital shop is shut… Thankfully my mother brought some in but I had a horrible couple of days.

More lightheartedly I am still indignant that I didn’t get lovely caring mother centred midwives who would give delivery advice like Call the Midwife. Where was Sister Julienne or Nurse Crane when I needed them?!

Also came to comment about the post partum stink haha

If you have a tear or stitches it will hurt to pee. Use a clean wet flannel and press it against your urethra opening, and pee into that.
You'll thank me😬

I think every new mum should read the book ‘how not to hate your husband after kids’! We were given it as a joke and ended up both reading it. Didn’t hate him after a week but a few months in…most relationships experience some strain as they adjust t the darling bomb that has just exploded in their lives.

@Latenightreader i got the midwives 😂 i actually felt like i was in call the midwife! They dimmed all the lights and held my hands and actual said little pushes now and it was magical, and straight after he was born I did the little musical bit in my head when it’s a happy delivery in the show 😂😂 they also brought warm water to save my perineum, a stark contrast to my first which was like something out of WW2

That as soon as baby is here and safe you are pushed out the door and everything gets chucked in the 'you've just had a baby' diagnosis bucket 🪣

That my health and well being is just as important after the baby has arrived. Eating well and looking after myself doesn't stop and is equally important in the postpartum period. That I need to appreciate how much my body is recovering from pregnancy and birth or major surgery.

So much focus is on the baby I think we often think mum job is done, in terms of growing them. But mum now has to physically recover from 9 months of growing a human and it doesn't happen instantly after birth.

Oh that’s really lovely to hear!

I wish I had been told how my milk supply would be impacted by my anxiety (I had PND). Once I learned to sit and consciously relax when trying to feed/express, the milk supply increased noticeably

That the six weeks before doing the deed is a MINIMUM and it can take a lot longer (more like 10 for me) for it to not be painful. And that sexual function can take a very very long time to come back, especially if you had a long labour /potential nerve damage. A bit tmi here but it was almost a year before I got the big o back. I thought it was never going to happen again. It's still more difficult than it was pre baby (and mine is 10 now) but it will come back eventually.

Do your kegels even after birth! Stress incontinence when you cough /jump /run is no bloody joke

I was young when I had my first which resulted in a cat 1 C-section, I was confused why I was bleeding 🤣 I genuinely thought with my sunroof delivery I would be bleed free!

That I will never feel from above my scar to my belly button again! I literally injected myself there after birth and didn’t feel a thing and still don’t.

Wind pain can be resolved by peppermint tea, I can remember ranting to myself that no tea was taking this pain away! It was like a miracle.

You will cry at things you wouldn’t usually cry at and if you dare hear a crying baby even when it’s not your own, your boobs will leak massively.

That DVT's were a possibility.
My 1st ds is 27 this year.
I even wrote into a parenting magazine at the time.
My 2nd ds is 19 this year. It took me 8 years and a new partner.
I had to go on blood thinners, just in case.

Yes!! I'm sure I had no idea they were a thing until I experienced them - why did no one warn me?! Although I'm fairly certain they may have been worse following a section - as I had sections with both of mine I have nothing to compare it to otherwise, but dear lord they had me feeling V sorry for myself!

No one warned me how hungry and thirsty I would be whilst breastfeeding. I thought at first it was because I had barely eaten for the three days I was in labour, but it just kept going for weeks and weeks! At home someone would bring me a glass of water but the glass would be a normal sized one, I was drinking the stuff in pints at a time.

Baby goggles are also a thing. I look back at a couple of the photos I chose to send to friends to announce my new arrival, and think oh dear, that was unfortunate… Also that it is perfectly possible to be so focussed on the adorable baby in the photo (a good one this time) and miss that the bottom third of the picture was a giant close up of a nipple until after it had been sent to a male friend. Thankfully I’ve known him for years and he and his wife thought it was hilarious and pointed it out very tactfully.

Another one, if you had anything but a spontaneous delivery (and even sometimes if you had one of those too), it can take aaagees for your milk to come in. Longer if you lost a lot of blood. And it HURTS when it does. Like, sobbing in the bath trying to make the pain stop hurts. And that if that pain makes you never want to put the baby on the boob ever again you are not a failure. It's OK to want to finally be pain free.

I’d heard of post-partum pains and assumed this was a general throbbing type ache from stitches. Ha. Then I woke up in the middle of the night, maybe two days after delivering, convinced I was having contractions with an undetected twin, or something had gone terribly wrong and I was dying.

Also had read about a mucus plug in the baby books as a precursor to labour and thought it was something small that might sneak out into the loo when having a wee undetected. Who knew it would be disgustingly long, ready to be pulled away hand over fist?

Congratulations on your new baby. I did the crying over the urine sample pot too, and cried when I had my last midwife appointment.

nobody tells you that feeling of terror when you suddenly realise that you are now in charge of keeping a tiny human alive. Or how massive your 1st child will seem when you bring your 2nd baby home.

even with c section you still need to check out your pelvic floor and do pelvic exercises.

diastis recti or whatever it’s called - didn’t know it was a thing.

the scar takes AGES to fully heel and you should massage it and get a postpartum mot if you can.

the fact you can physically feel it when your baby cries 😵‍💫

and yes yes to baby googles 😅😅😅