What do you wish you had known about postpartum, prior to giving birth?

[Tumblingdryer]

This is meant to be lighthearted!

Gave birth to DC1 last week. It was an emergency c-section which already has left me feeling quite emotional! I had never really thought about the postpartum period as was so caught up in being pregnant and I wish I had known more of what to expect.

I wish someone had told me that my digestive system would be completely all over the place after the c-section - I expected constipation but not the other way.

Wish someone has mentioned the night sweats so I could have bought a few changes of sheets!

I wish I knew that I would really miss being pregnant so I could make the most of it. I saw an empty sample pot on the sideboard earlier from my last midwife appointment and sobbed that I’m not pregnant anymore.

Whats one thing you wish you were told or given advice about postpartum?

The Baby Blues. I’m not talking about post natal depression, which most doctors and midwives know about, but the intense temporary period for a few days. It doesn’t last long, but for some women it can feel really awful. Like you’re going completely crazy and nothing makes sense.

The importance of scar massage after a c section to avoid adhesions, scarring and long term issues. Not yet OP but look into it in the next few weeks.

That even if you need an emergency c section as the baby has come a few days before your planned one which you were told you needed because the baby was measuring big, that you won’t get an emergency c section and just have to risk it! ( aka hope your babies arm doesn’t break abs you rip everywhere!) if someone else is already in theatre. Who knew they wouldn’t have enough theatres available! Gas and air really doesn’t do much! 😂

Yea definitely! I’m one month post partum and week 2 was horrific, intrusive thoughts, OCD, anxiety all over the place. All lined up to see a psychiatrist and then within another week it went. Absolutely terrifying!

That your body will shrink back down. Your rib cage will narrow, so will your hips and your tummy. The jelly belly is short lived.

To be fair the doctor did tell me this as my 6 pp week check, but I didn't believe her and thought I'd be significantly bigger forever. I'm back in all my old clothes 12 months on, though the sleepless nights/sugar cravings take their toll.

That you should buy the biggest thickest maternity pads you can find, as they are so much more comfy than the thin ones, and that you will need armfuls of packs.

And huge pants several sizes larger than you have ever worn.

How painful it was going to be to do a poo, especially the first few times post partum.

The terror of realising how vulnerable and dependant your baby is and how you could do anything to them if you were a psychopath, and worrying you might suddenly not be able to stop yourself. Perhaps my crazy hormones influenced that one!

That mastitis is a little touch of death and can happen on you extremely quickly.
The sweats are horrific
Breastfeeding is tough at first but it does get easier
To get help when the baby blues are going on much further than they should be

Nobody told me about the "apron" your tummy has after a caesarean.
And after several c sections now over #5 years later it's still here.

You need property maternity pads, not a pack of Always. Midwife scalded me when she saw what I had and got some chunky hospital pads like something from the 50s for me.

It was then I realised childbirth is as basic and animalistic as it gets and not much has changed for thousands of years!

This one for me too!

I remember sitting awake with my newborn on the 4th night, first at home thinking - this is my life now! Forever....a very overwhelming and quite lonely feeling

Had my DS nearly 40 years ago, and you weren’t allowed to go home from hospital until you’d “had a decent bowel movement” in the words of the very fierce midwife.
I was only 21, and Id had a fair few stitches and everything was very delicate down there… so 3 days after he was born, I was in the loo, terrified of pushing, but fearing I’d still be kept in hospital when DS was celebrating his 21st! It was just as I plucked up the courage to poo, when the door was flung open and a troop of pregnant ladies came in on a hospital open evening.
i was horrified and let out a loud squeak of surprised… bossy fierce midwife was yelling “do you need help, dear.” through the door and I was too embarrassed to show my face for ages afterwards.
I lied about my bowel movement just to get out of the bloody place!

That weird thing where you wake up in a complete panic that you have lost the baby (when she is fast asleep in her cot next to you)

That's it is normal to loose what seems like loads of blood after a vaginal delivery. I just thought it would be a bit like a heavier period!!

I remember my SIL yelling at me (in a nice way) about 2 weeks after the birth of her first because I hadn't told her all the shit that happens after the birth, only the before and during. Tbh, I just presume no-one wants to know the fact you'll occasionally feel as if you are giving birth again every time you breast feed and you will occasionally feel as if you're hemorrhaging. And you may not poop for a week because it hurts too much and then you may end up sitting in your bed crying your eyes out because you need to poop so much and your nipples are bleeding and you love this child with all your heart but you don't feel worthy to be their Mum. I mean, who wants to know all that BEFORE YOU'VE EVEN GIVEN BIRTH?!! 😁

Congratulations!

I hadn't realised that my entire body would ache for days afterwards. I'm still not sure why it did, I had a forceps delivery and 8 hour labour - dunno if its the aftermath of the physical effort or some hormonal reason.

Breastfeeding hurt for weeks, like having a terrapin clamped to my nipple. The mantra everyone repeated was "If it hurts you are doing it wrong" Anyway it settled after 12 weeks...

I completely understand the feeling about not having the baby with you (on board) any more. Got it particularly with last son (5th baby) and husband was very confused after I was in floods of tears "but it is done now, here he is alive and well, here is your son" Me "I know, I am so happy, but I am so sad". I suspect hormones play a massive part, you are used to being pregnant, and then suddenly, you are not. It is definitely a weird thing. It passes. x

Someone did tell me, but it was absolutely right and saved my sanity every time - that things get better after day 10. Suddenly it doesn't hurt as much to pee or sit down, you can walk at roughly your old pace again, the bleeding eases off a bit, you start to feel a tiny bit more human. That's not to say the problems aren't still there, they are - but it's just a bit easier.

Congratulations OP!

If you have a tear or cut, get a peri bottle and only wash with warm water and swab or flannel wipe only.

The PND... and to relax to let my breast milk supply come through

That it can take ages for it to feel right down below after baby. I could feel where they stitched me up and it took months to feel normal.

That it can takes ages to feel like you again because being a mum esp for the first time is all consuming

Remember to take care and look after yourself... every little helps

Asking for help if you are not coping is not you failing!

Trust your mummy gut always!

Congratulations on your little one.

You will never be so close to another person again. When they leave, you'll feel your absence.

I tore, and the fear of having a poo was very real. Was more scared of that than labour.

Also very foolishly went for a nice long walk the day after labour. Thought I was fine. I was not fine. Had to only wear a kitchen apron (ie no knickers etc) for 2 weeks after, and blow dry the area after every wee/shower. Fun.

Oh, crikey! I remember the drying with a hairdryer😱

We were told to sit in a warm bath twice a day, and make sure we positioned the stitches on a pile of Epsom salts!! That took some doing😁 apparently they helped dissolve the stitches and help healing🤷‍♀️ The bath was nice, and everything did heal, but I’ve not heard that method for stitches mentioned for many years?

How much I'd bleed.
How weird breastfeeding would feel.

That every experience is unique. I'd expected to be very incapacitated, teary, and an exhausted, stinky, bloody mess (literally) after birth, because that's what I heard (like on this thread).

I got lucky. Very easy planned sections, painless and quick recovery, lochia light enough for those thin pads, and only for a few days. No smellyness. No hair loss. No night sweats. No increased hunger and thirst when breastfeeding. More sleep than late pregnancy etc.

But I did get the afterpains. I got horrific constipation and I had an awful overhang. I also traded my pregnancy figure, which I loved (the only time I've ever loved how my body looked), for one that was more squishy than before, with a jelly like empty stomach. That coupled with stretch marks made me feel pretty rubbish and I went from pretty body confident to body hiding very quickly.

How much blood there would be….and how long it went on for!