What do you wish you had known about postpartum, prior to giving birth?

[Tumblingdryer]

This is meant to be lighthearted!

Gave birth to DC1 last week. It was an emergency c-section which already has left me feeling quite emotional! I had never really thought about the postpartum period as was so caught up in being pregnant and I wish I had known more of what to expect.

I wish someone had told me that my digestive system would be completely all over the place after the c-section - I expected constipation but not the other way.

Wish someone has mentioned the night sweats so I could have bought a few changes of sheets!

I wish I knew that I would really miss being pregnant so I could make the most of it. I saw an empty sample pot on the sideboard earlier from my last midwife appointment and sobbed that I’m not pregnant anymore.

Whats one thing you wish you were told or given advice about postpartum?

That postpartum haemorrhage can happen at birth and at any stage during your lochia. 6 weeks postpartum and in the operating theatre was unexpected!

I did know this because my mother told me-but I wish other women knew it. That although some women feel shit, many don't, and actually feel like superwoman. I was sooo happy and proud of myself and couldn't wait to show my beautiful, miraculous babies off to everyone. Because obviously no babies had ever been as beautiful and miraculous ever before!,

That 'mummy's wrist' is a thing and months later it's still causing me pain!

More seriously. That we are basically mammals, just like any other mammal. Listen to your instincts, just like your baby is. In most situations, your monkey brain knows what to do.

Yes this came as a bit of a shock.

I bled quite heavily for weeks. Breastfeeding made it worse.

I remember having all these visitors and I was having to sit on a towel as I was bleeding so much.

How long it would take me to be able to physically move around again.

I knew I might be ‘uncomfortable’ following a vaginal birth, that people had stitches etc. But I also think I heard much of people ‘bouncing back’ and seeing women out and about in town with three day old babies etc.

I had a very long labour, forceps and episiotomy and it took a very long time to be able to walk more than a few metres. I could walk round the block after a couple of weeks. A combination of muscles in the pelvic floor, and an enormous amount of stitches. It was agony.

Birth recovery has made me really rethink Dad’s two week paternity leave - mine was at home five days after the birth before I was left alone. I was very much still in ‘patient needing support’ mode!

First poo isn't necessarily traumatic.

Snapping back isn't as instantaneous as it sounds.

It hurts afterwards.

Not to wear disposable pads for the locchia. (A) There is A LOT OF IT and you'll be constantly changing even the big brick like nappy ones and (b) they irritate the skin so as well as pouring blood that smells like death you'll be sore and chafed as well. Invest in some good reusable postnatal pads from someone like Cheeky Wipes - it's worth the yuck factor of having to wash them for being able to go a good few hours without changing them (useful when nap trapped) and not being red raw in your thighs/undercarriage.

Also do not believe your brain when it tells you the world is ending on day 3. Day 3 is a total bastard and it wants to make you cry. Ignore ignore ignore!!!

Finally - you do not really know your partner (if you have one) until you have a child together. You are about to meet the real them, and they you. They may step up and be wonderful, or you may not like what you see. Be prepared for that.

Oh yes, Day 3 doom. I remember standing in the corridor near the exit door sobbing because my baby had been taken to another ward so the paediatrician could do a blood test (they couldn’t get enough from the heel prick) and I was convinced that she had been abducted and I’d never see her again. I’d been warned they’d take her, and they had woken me up to tell me, but I was so sleepy I just said ok, and it took a few minutes for me to think that I should have gone with her, by which time they were off the ward. She was gone about half an hour and it was utterly miserable. I remember crying over silly things - there was an emergency light in the ward which had a gentle green glow and it felt like it was taunting me!

Second baby I was overcome with regret and the thought I'd just ruined my life, my partner's life and both my daughters' by having a second. Spent the whole day crying dolefully on my newborn's head and saying sorry to her. And THEN realised it was.... day fucking 3 😂

The hormones. First baby I cried because the biscuits my DH had picked for the visitors weren't right, that my baby was returned to me from a cuddle smelling of perfume and that everything hurt.

Second baby I cried because it was an emergency section and I couldn't move easily, that I'd ruined my oldest child's life as she now had to share me and because the tea was wrong for visitors.

Both eased quickly but DH couldn't do anything right on day three.

I did this with both of mine!! I remember telling dh that baby 1 was a mistake and we should get her adopted. baby 2 had my crying even more and regretting him so much and "can we have him adopted" remarks came thick and fast. 2 days on and I was right as rain again. Funny old things hormones...

So much farting the day after a c section which is hilarious but belly laughing hurts so so much - warn everyone not to make you laugh

The post birth contractions. I had them for a few weeks post my EMCS with Dc1 and they were absolute agony. I was crying with pain, and in some ways that were worse than parts of labour. I was dreading them after having an EMCS with Dc2 as I’d heard that they get worse with each delivery, but I didn’t have them at all.

I wish someone had told me how difficult breastfeeding is and the emotion that comes with it.

I just assumed baby goes on boob and bam done!

Thankfully there was a lovely breastfeeding help person that was just amazing and eventually we got the hang of it, though it was quite a struggle.

Baby #2 turned out to be twins, 6 weeks premature and neither would latch. I expressed and bottle fed but someone said switch to formula - it's easier apparently. Except once I'd made the switch I hated it. It stinks. the bottles are a faff to prepare, especially when super sleep deprived. I massively regretted it, which doesn't help with post partum emotions!

So for anyone else out there:
Breastfeeding is SO much easier once you get the hang of it (which is really hard).
Expressing and bottle feeding is much easier than formula! (or at least it was for me!)

Dh brought a pack of disposable breast pads to the hospital on day 3 instead of the reusable ones that I'd washed loads of times so they were really comfy. I was upset with him because he'd just bought a pack of disposable ones instead of looking for mine and upset with myself because I hadn't packed them because I thought I would be home long before my milk came in.

That postpartum hair loss is a thing :(

That you might feel a bit sad whenever you put away the baby clothes they have outgrown...

That you will miss the sweet smell of their little newborn head and their frantic nuzzles for food!

The newborn scrunch 🥹

That you and your partner will become obsessed with your baby's poo and find yourself receiving messages when your partner goes away saying 'just landed. Please send poo updates'

Lochia. Had no idea! Went on for about 6/8 weeks with each birth. On and off (depending on activity levels).

That hospitals are really noisy at nighta d rubbish food. I left at 9am the next morning and went to the supermarket for tiny baby clothes as dd was really tiny unexpectedly.

For me i had no issues pp

The constipation! I've never known anything like it. I had a 2 week stay on transitional care as my son was very unwell in NICU. Because I was technically discharged they wouldn't prescribe me anything to help ease it, and because like you had an emergency C-section, I was also worried straining would tear my stitches (even though the assured me that would not happen).
Eventually I sat on the bed sobbing in the middle of the night because I hadn't poo'd for over a week and sitting down was uncomfortable. A midwife managed to convince a Dr to prescribe a suppository on the agreement that I did it myself. I was like FINE< JUST HELP ME.

Also, I felt hugely naïve about breast feeding and had no idea one boob would just leak while I fed from the other. The amount of times the sheets were just utterly soaked in breastmilk.

You can't send them back!

Oh God yes. And sneezing oh my Christ. I had a stinking cold with the second one and I thought I was going to burst like a balloon.

I wish I'd known how long the bleeding can go on. I was very naive and thought after a day or 2 It would stop.

If you start writing a book, trying to restyle the garden, reordering the contents of cupboards and are unable to sleep whilst breast feeding every 2 hours then it is likely you have postpartum psychosis and you need help.

I was young and naive so the labour and birth came as a total shock! I did not realize how much I would bleed, how much my body would hurt afterward, how many tears I would shed!