They have enough money I don’t need to pay them back?

[beenoutontheopenroad]

Has anyone come across people with this attitude before? I fear it’s really common.

A friend told me her boyfriend didn’t pay his friend back for tickets he bought as he was rich and didn’t need it.

A colleague took our deposits for a lunch (outside of work) she didn’t book it and paid us all back apart from one person - who was definitely earning a good £20-30K more.

Such a shit attitude and I’m having it done to me now.

Not acceptable

It's easier said than done though. You get the guilt trips, "but I've driven two hours to see you", "I don't like the food you've made", in reality, she's invited herself and spent the whole time on her phone messaging her friends rather than actually engage with us. Some people are rather manipulative. But everyone has a breaking point, I had mine, and I no longer will stand for it. I guess some people try the peaceful route to have relationships with family members, but sometimes you get pushed too far, then break.

It's incredibly entitled to not pay someone back on the basis of your opinion of their finances. It's nothing to do with you. Anyone doing this is deliberately taking advantage of the lenders generosity, and is one of life's takers.

If I am out with them, and they pay for my shopping as I don't have my card or its easier for then just to pay. I need to give it back ASAP.

This is what he's taken to doing now. He'll send a reminder out a day or two before the deadline as a reminder but he'll still get comments of "mate, it's only £10!"

I wouldn't be organising it if it was my friends, but, thankfully, my friends don't operate like that!

@ConsistentlyElectrifiedElves

This is what he's taken to doing now. He'll send a reminder out a day or two before the deadline as a reminder but he'll still get comments of "mate, it's only £10!"

Yes those "only £10" soon add up though, especially if people - often the same people - do this often. 🌹

Just thought of another, my ExH.

Our wedding was supposed to be very small, no more than 10 people at a registry office. Days before his aunt kicked off she wasn’t going to get to see her “nephew” by marriage get married. It turned into a big thing the next thing I know there are almost 50 people there. The plan was we’d have lunch at a local pub, everyone to pay their own, then we had a big party laid out for everyone that night, all welcome, free beer & wine, some spirits and free food.

Anyway at the lunch my ex dick of a fil announced that the meal was being paid for by my dad. My dad lived 12000 miles way and had no money, he’d sent me a chq for £250 as a wedding gift which FIL found out about. I was mortified, FIL was a loud prick and even though my ex was one too he couldn’t stand up to his dad. DH and I had spent every last penny we had on the party.

Very good friends of mine who were my surrogate family just paid for everybody on the quiet. I’m talking a young couple our age, not particularly well off.

I promised to pay them back, but when it came to it my exs attitude was they earn more than us and are your best friends so why should we pay them back. I was mortified. My friends had my ex pegged long before I did. In the end I paid them in instalments from a secret bank account I’d quickly realised I might need. Id started to pay a small amount of my salary in it each month after I’d gotten a pay rise and didn’t tell my ex. It was empty by the time we split up because I was always paying off things he refused to. He once stopped paying rent because the property managers sacked his dad. Apparently not paying rent showed them! Us having our credit destroyed was a small price to pay, fucking idiot.

it was a short marriage and I left in so much debt because I took loans out to protect my credit score.

@AliceMcK
That sounds awful. Did you manage to pay all the money back?

@TodaysNameIsBoring yes. My friends were amazing, the day I told them I’d left my ex the husband did a little cheer and punch in the air and said finally I hated him 😂 They regularly treat me, they earned a lot more than me, we all lived together when I first met my ex. My ex didn’t see that the friendship wasn’t just about them earning more and covering my costs, i couldn’t afford the take them for nice meals like they did for me, but I could cook for them, pick up their favourite chocolate or wine as a treat on my way home for work, bake them birthday cakes etc.. My ex only ever saw life through monetary value, I could have bought him the perfect gift, but if I hadn’t spent a lot of money on it he’d sulk.

@AliceMcK That's great that they have been such good friends.

Even better that the dickhead Ex and your equally challenged FIL are now out of your life. 🌹