They have enough money I don’t need to pay them back?

[beenoutontheopenroad]

Has anyone come across people with this attitude before? I fear it’s really common.

A friend told me her boyfriend didn’t pay his friend back for tickets he bought as he was rich and didn’t need it.

A colleague took our deposits for a lunch (outside of work) she didn’t book it and paid us all back apart from one person - who was definitely earning a good £20-30K more.

Such a shit attitude and I’m having it done to me now.

Do you think he hid the camera himself and made you responsible for it deliberately?

I never borrow from anyone except the bank. But I do wonder why people who are extremely wealthy are bothered about taking turns to pay for coffees if they have millions more than the other person. I'd be embarrassed.

My older sister borrowed money off me. We were both married.

A couple of years later I finally got up the courage to ask about it.

She replied she would pay me back when I needed the money. She obviously deemed that I didn’t need the money at the time.

I never got it back.

I have never heard of anyone doing that. I would directly ask for the money if i were you

I once asked a 'friend' for the money back she owed me and her reply was 'didn't you get paid today?' Like that makes a difference?? I don't borrow her money anymore.

Yes. Paid in advance for a theatre ticket as I had for years. The organiser decided, without telling everyone, the group would no longer attend post-covid, that the money should be donated to the theatre. The standard booking slot, the agency to buy another ticket and the opportunity to see the play were lost.
When I discovered what had happened, I was publicly screamed at that I was mean and that I would no longer be acknowledged when met.

Why were you publicly screamed at?

That I was mean not to donate my ticket money to the theatre (without my knowledge).

I remember back the mid 80s, i worked with a woman who had a Freemans catalogue. She let some of her younger colleagues order goods from it, and they would pay her at the end of the month type thing.

She won £250k on the pools and a couple of the young girls just stopped paying her. They just assumed she would pay off everyone's outstanding balances.

Yes I have known a few over the years but they have chips on their shoulder about everything so no surprises

It's just the way people assume that gets me. Why the hell do they get to decide whether the other party can afford not to be paid back or not? The decision should be in the hands of the person who loaned out. The borrower should always offer the money back as soon as they can , then if the lender IS very wealthy and doesn't want the money back, THAT'S when they can say so. It simply isn't the lender's decision to make, as it's not their money to forego.

This happens a lot when you have money. Dh's family are always asking for "loans" they have no intention of paying back. Basically taking the piss and a shit attitude.

Never met anyone so stupidly greedy

YANBU

One of my friends did this to me. I called them out. I don't see them now.

It's disgusting expecting someone to subsidise your life!

If you don't earn enough get another or a better job.

We had someone in our family (a step family member ) who announced after receiving some inheritance - that had been given on the proviso the money was given back in her Will to the rest of the family - that they didn't need the money anymore (had too much!) so she'd rewritten her Will to send the money elsewhere

She had no idea the impact that had on the rest of the family

Never come across this. If I lend money I want repaying and I will kick up a stink until I get payment.

A whole lot of MN would agree with him, with a dose of " greedy selfish boomer" thrown in for good measure

My brother! Every time our parents lend him money, he smirks & says "we all know I won't pay it back". Me on the other hand, I learnt my lesson. The one & only time I've ever asked for a loan (which they know I'm good for), they agreed, then reneged the offer at the last minute.

Happens all the time. Husband and I very fortunate / financially comfortable (in large part because of my husbands insanely hard work + a lot of fun sacrificed for career choices in his 20s) - we have friends (and siblings) that seem to feel entitled to a free ride.

I would mind less if it was explicit. If a friend said ‘hey, I’m a bit tight at the moment would you mind picking up supper’ - of course. Or if they were struggling for necessities then, again, be more than happy to help. But the passive expectation that I will bank roll activities and / or meals feels sh**

I HATE owing people money or feeling like I’m not pulling my weight. It frustrates me that other people don’t seem to mind. I suppose I tackle it with people I care about (siblings) and back off from the others.

it’s not about money at the core - it’s about treating people with basic respect / courtesy. Hoping that someone won’t notice they haven’t been paid back is pathetic. The ‘lender’ might choose not to embarrass someone. Or decide that the person isn’t important enough to in invest energy in a conversation about it - but they have noticed.

I am the highest earner out of my siblings, with no other support networks. I lend them money when they need it, and most hasn't been paid back.

But if they spot me shopping or a meal, I have to transfer the money before leaving or I get the silent treatment.

They all work, and own their own homes. I just can't get the deposit together to buy a house. 1 bought when 100% mortgage was available, and the other 2 inherited the house from parent.

I now move all my money into savings account and show my current balance being low so can't help.

Yes, this is why don’t lend anyone money any longer.

Disappointing.

BIL, when told all siblings would be splitting the cost of his mums funeral but that luckily one of his uncles had covered it for them for now and they would pay him back as and when they could:

”Well, he can fucking wait for it. He’s got plenty of money.”

I actually looked at him in disgust.

Bloody covid and theatres - an opera house tried this on with me, they just presumed I'd be happy to donate the money from my £40 ticket. Had to contact customer services, who were very short with me over email and only gave a partial refund initially (took some chasing). It's bizarre enough when people do it, but rich institutions?!

Yes a step brother embezzled a life changing sum from eldery grandmother. She was a miser never spent a penny and the excuse he gave was so what she wasn't spending it. Didn't ladt but a few months before dead broke and nothing to show for it.