To still bath with Dd now she’s 7

[Cadela]

I’ve just been on the phone to my friend after putting Dd to bed. Was just chatting about our days and said Dd and I had had a bath together this afternoon (usual Sunday routine, showers during the week) and she was horrified.

Am I mad in thinking this is completely fine? I’ve said to Dd do you want to have a bath first and not with me and she has always said no but I’m second guessing myself now.

It’s just us here so we’re a very naked family, Dd sits with me whilst I get dressed and obviously I still help her get dressed when she needs it but now I’m overthinking.

So so inappropriate for an 11 year old girl to be sharing baths with her dad. It's weird that he wants to share a bath with a pubescent girl.

Would you have a bath with your mum though?

Its totally different to having your mum present while you're giving birth.

I agree with this. She's well into puberty at this age. Totally wrong imo. Sorry.

Yes agree that is inappropriate. Bath with opposite sex parent should stop by 8 I would say. If not before

11?? I had pubic hair at that age.

I remember bathing with my mum maybe around that age, and looking at it now as an adult I think i was far too old and it’s a bit odd.

I could not have thought of anything worse at age 11 than having a bath with my Dad.
Personally I think 11 is far far too old to be having a bath with a parent, especially one of the opposite sex, sorry.

Imagine what her friends would say, or her teachers at school if they knew.
Some questions might be asked in a safeguarding manner, and quite righty so to protect children.

Probably time to heavily discourage this.

They're 9 and 11. It will stop when they don't want it anymore, which I can't imagine is too far away.

you’re assuming your children have the vocabulary and the confidence to speak up. Children like to please their parents and it’s clear that there would be disappointment once the baths stop, I wonder if they have the required skills.

I don’t see anything wrong with a mother and daughter bathing together at any age. Opposite sex parents bathing with their kids is a different matter - but fine when they are little (8-ish and under).

Not an issue if she's happy with it. My parents were always comfortable with being naked. I hated it and still have flashbacks of their wobbly bits! I don't let my 3 year old see me naked for that reason.

That sounds lovely. I don’t think it‘a too old at all. My DD was comfortable being naked around us until she was about 10. Then suddenly she wanted her privacy. At some point she won’t want to and you’ll remember those baths fondly.

Why are you sure?

I never bathed with my parents at all, but did 'help' and muck around with water while my dad was in the bath, aged upto about 9.
I also bathed/ played in the tub with some female friends up til aged about 12. Sometimes they would wear swimwear, but I never did.
So everyone is different, no right or wrong!

11 is too old to be sharing a bath with a parent. Children of opposite sex aren't meant to share bedrooms after the age of 10 according to social housing guidance.

I had public hair at 9! I've never shared baths with parents

I used to work in child abuse investigation and teach police officers about child protection. One of the first areas of discussion would be appropriateness of nakedness in families. Some people are very uptight about it and would perceive very normal / typical nakedness in a family as wrong / weird.

Because she knows her child.

I'm really surprised how many people find it normal. Very strange but also interesting to know. For me bathing/showering with your child is just weird at any age. In this day and age it's unnecessary and I'd find it extremely uncomfortable even with my 2yo.

My daughter is 6 I wouldn't bath with her and haven't done in years, tbh I find it odd but wouldn't comment.

It's fine for them to share that's just when they become "entitled" to their own room but many areas that will never happen as the waiting lists are too long and not enough properties

I don't think it's wrong for a mother and 7 year old daughter to share a bath but I think it's weird to carry on once puberty has started. So around 7/8 is probably when I'd stop.

My son is 7 and I'm happy for him to see me in underwear but not fully naked. That's 100% for his sake though so that he doesn't have a lasting memory of my naked body. No teenage boy will want to remember that.

I don't see a problem with it. It's been me and dc since she was born too and I honestly don't know how it would work if she didn't see me naked some of the time. She is always asking to have a bath together like we used to and it is me who says no! We often have showers though and I don't see a problem with that. I'm not a natural be naked infront of others person so I find it a bit uncomfortable sometimes, but those are my issues. She actively seeks it and I go with it as I don't want her to have any hang ups.

Personally, I grew up in a very uptight family and it immediately made me uncomfortable. But then I thought about it and she’s only 7. If it makes you both happy and you give her privacy when she wants it then I don’t how it would do any harm at that age. Especially as you talk about your week, I think that sounds quite sweet actually.

I can not imagine sitting in a bathtub with my father at age 11! I definitely was starting puberty.

I honestly think if an 11 year old girl told a teacher that they were bathing with their father that it would be reported.

Sorry op, it’s possible at this point that they don’t understand or are not confident of boundaries. No way should an 11 year old (or a 9 year old tbh) girl be bathing with their dad. I had pubic hair and was wearing a bra already at this age, and started my period a couple of months after turning 12.

Please have a serious word with your DH and stop it now.