Should kids go on holiday abroad every year?

[TillyTooms]

To grow up well rounded or is it just a nice luxury to have?

Before having kids I imagined we'd be jetting off every year like I did pre kids however having a neurodivergent child has meant I'm not able to work as much as I could previously and our income has seen a reduction.

We have a comfortable income and can do days out and pay for my daughter's hobbies but not enough to jet away every year.

I know this sounds like a stupid question but I just feel like I've let them down somehow.

@MyFirstLittlePony it really isn't. No one asks for those things in particular but if you're going to land a job at a top international firm the experiences and skills that being 'well rounded' bring absolutely DO matter. If you've never left dull-on-sea but have a raft of top grades no one cares. You'll fall down at the interview.

that was exactly my point. Among those things are parenting, community and good luck.

I will add that abroad absolutely not necessary for well rounded. Totally a huge luxury.

But.

I do think that to be rounded you need to experience different places and things.

Be that beach, forests, hills, built up areas, types of music, food, languages.

With the UK being small we're hugely lucky to be able to access these easily.

I'd never assume a child who hadn't left the UK wasn't well rounded or experienced.

However I have a colleague, who despite living less than an hour from London have never been. They shop in the town they live in. Holiday at the same family caravan each year. That's their entire experience of the world.

For the adults that's their decision to make. But I do feel their kids are at a disadvantage.

Does your DC even want to go abroad?

I'm ND and I hate it.

We’ve generally gone abroad once or twice every year and I’ve grown to the realisation that I hate the faff - I was doing something I felt I was expected to do. Hate airports, don’t like flying, lose all benefit of the holidays on the journey back home. Just had a long weekend in the UK with the teens and it was soooo much more relaxing. Also, I want to reduce our carbon footprint, so I’m thinking of once every two/three years and no long hauls ever again.

I do think it’s important to see some of the world outside of your own country, but I fell into the trap of thinking it was necessary every year - it’s really not.

Of course it's s fucking luxury.

My twins and I have never had an holiday, never mind an abroad jaunt.

Some people are so blinkered, it's unreal...🤦🏼‍♀️

First time I went abroad I was 23.....Do you think I'm ill adjusted? 🙄

I know families who go abroad annually and the parents sit by a pool getting tiddly while the DC go to kids club. I also know families who never go abroad and take their DC camping but visit museums, art galleries and historical locations.

We can all be ridiculously reductive, but my clunky point is that the two are unrelated. My dc are nearly 17 and 13 and we went abroad (Paris and Normandy) for the first time last year. It was lovely yes, but not life changing. They've asked to go to Wales next.

Luxury.

I've been abroad once, a school trip to France, unless you count the Channel Islands.

We holiday in the UK each year and don't feel that we have missed out. Our dc are now grown up and have never even commented that they thought we should.

My eldest is 11 and we’ve not yet been abroad. I went abroad with my own parents once when I was 12, my husband went abroad for the first time at 18 without his parents.
we are both very well rounded and expect nothing from anyone. Seems odd to think abroad holidays are the be all and end all.

Absolutely. OP you need a reality check.

My son seems to think it's his right.
Doesn't make thee same assumptions at his dad's tho, they've been away twice in 11 years to a caravan (still making memories tho)

Luxury and, if you’re flying, not great for the climate.

Like many people growing up in the 70s, I didn't go abroad until I was 16.

We managed to take DS abroad most years - but I certainly wouldn't have felt we'd let him down if we hadn't been able to do this .

If you were to take your DC within the UK to different cities and museums, or walking in the countryside, they would probably experience more of interest than if they spent two weeks each summer never leaving an AI resort .

I also have this guilt. I know where you are coming from. But I kind of think that they have the rest of their lives to choose to go abroad and their childhoods are quite small in comparison to that. Especially given that they won't remember most of the holiday so

Its a luxury and horrible for the planet. Its your child that will need to deal with the effects of a collapsing climate.
Going to magaluf every year when they were kids won't help them with that.

I went abroad once as a child. It didn't do me any harm, I've never felt aggrieved or blamed my parents, never felt jealous of friends that went more often. We visited lots of places through a playscheme and often went with my cousins. Our summer holidays would often be spent at my nan's home and my other cousins would congregate there, we'd have the best time.

As an adult I've been abroad 3 times and have just booked a holiday for this summer. We have 3 kids and whilst we are comfortable, I would rather take them abroad once every few years and do trips in the UK too as well as spend on our home. We did Disneyland Paris and Scarborough last year. They speak about icecream on the beach and having fish and chips much more fondly than the disney trip although I loved Disney and would go back in a heartbeat. Kids aren't well rounded just because they go on holiday.

You have no reason to feel guilty.

Not these days it's not.

TBH it was a massive priority for DH and I , we didn't have a lot when the DCs were young ( thank you finacial crisis 2008) but an abroad holiday ( usually France and driving tbh) was a non negotiable. We went without a fair bit to make sure it happened we camp and we live in Kent so both of those made it easier. As they got older and finances eased we went to more places, we continue to put foreign holidays above smart cars or having a cleaner tbh.

Haha, I'm 60 years old and have never been on an overseas holiday.
Put your money in investments for their future instead. Then they can live a comfortable life and enjoy holidays when they are old enough to remember the experience.

As your child is neurodivergent they might prefer to have one holiday spot you return to every year. There is great security in going back to a familiar spot where they know what's going to happen and have their favourite activity.
We did have regular holidays abroad but also every year we went to the same place in lreland and now our dc are grown this is where Jill their memories are from. This is where they bring their now partners to share those memories.

Just do whatever suits .

I traveled a lot as a child and imagined my dc would too. They haven't. Mix of money, neurodivergence and medical needs that would mean we would need medical equipment - four machines that together are the sizes of two large suitcases and weight a lot more- not easy. We manage a domestic trip yearly (driving).

I have two friends whose dc go abroad at least once a year, often two-three times and they are some of the least well rounded kids you could meet.

My dc get culture in other ways. We often do day trips to museums, historical sites and art galleries. We go to see local plays, bands, orchestras. We drive to a University for really neat events they host, many of which are free. They read daily, listen to the news and we talk about current events and politics. They listen to interesting podcasts. I have several friends whose dc have never been abroad or in their 10+ (some are teens) years have been abroad only once or twice and they are also very well cultured and well rounded.

While I'm not saying travel is bad, I don't think you can put too much emphasis on it. Who we are is never defined by how we spend a week or two a year.

There are some strange assumptions on this thread. Many people have said travel is wasted on young kids, but I have brilliant memories of foreign holidays as a child, and I thought Spain or France were a lot more fun than a caravan park or B & B in Blackpool. I don't think an annual foreign holiday is essential though! Although I now live abroad, so I am still enjoying exploring where I live as it still feels like a holiday. And why do people assume abroad is only AI by the pool with no cultural gain? I'm sure most people leave the hotel at least once, and even exposure to different languages, climates, food, culture can be experienced just by walking down the street. Although AI isn't my thing, I do think there is a lot of snobbery about it, let people enjoy things! So IMO foreign holidays aren't essential, never mind annually, but I do find most people who have traveled to be more well-rounded than people who have never left their home town, so I do think if you can do it, travel is a good thing.

Clearly you know it’s a luxury. I love going abroad and we go twice a year. But only because we can afford it. You don’t need it to be well rounded.

We go abroad a couple of times a year with our kids.

I honestly don’t know why people wouldn’t want to take their kids abroad and let them experience new cultures and see new things first hand.

I went on abroad holidays every year growing up and they are some of my most memorable childhood memories.