Should kids go on holiday abroad every year?

[TillyTooms]

To grow up well rounded or is it just a nice luxury to have?

Before having kids I imagined we'd be jetting off every year like I did pre kids however having a neurodivergent child has meant I'm not able to work as much as I could previously and our income has seen a reduction.

We have a comfortable income and can do days out and pay for my daughter's hobbies but not enough to jet away every year.

I know this sounds like a stupid question but I just feel like I've let them down somehow.

I shouldn't have said well rounded and I apologise for that, I didn't mean that as such.I just feel a weird amount of guilt for some reason and wanted the reality check.

Absolute luxury. DP and I have taken dd abroad but it wouldn't have harmed her if we hadn't been able to.

I went abroad twice throughout my childhood and teenage years, and both times it was just a school exchange trip rather than a family holiday.

I still grew up to be a well rounded adult.

Did you go abroad every year as a child then?

You're only feeling guilty because you're buying into the lie that you need to do these sorts of things in order to be happy and if you don't have lots of holiday pics for the 'gram then you've failed.

Ignore it. You haven't. Kids don't need holidays abroad.

I agree, it is not a healthy habit at all, and often leaves children woefully ignorant of their own culture and history

Total luxury. I never went on holiday abroad with my family. I went to France on school trips aged 14 and 17, then Mallorca aged 22. I don't think it's damaged me in any way - in fact, I now love travelling and seeing new places, so maybe that's a good result if never going anywhere outside the UK!

It is a luxury

We always took our DC on holiday ,but not always abroad

I never went on them as a kid (we had no money) and I grew up to travel the world and live in various countries and speak different languages. I am well-rounded by most standards.
My friend went every year abroad, as an adult she hasn’t left the UK in over twenty years, doesn’t have a passport now and is happy and by all measures well-rounded.

My eldest kids travelled the world when they were young and remember nothing.

While I don’t live there now, I think UK is incredibly beautiful, varied and full of awesome things to experience. Your kids will be just fine. The world isn’t going anywhere. If they want to travel later, they will!

Actually one of the most well rounded adults I know never went "abroad" as kids, they are not entitled to start with, and most of them have travelled as they grew up. My own kids only have been abroad a a few times , although they are still young kids. I think once every couple of years if you can afford it is great.

Of course it's a luxury. I was lucky to get a week in Scarborough as a child, and that was only if my Grandma paid for me, my mum and her to go (twice). My aunty took me camping a couple of times in the UK. My dad took me to Greece when I was 13. It was my first time on a plane.

You can’t be serious with this question?

I didn't go abroad until I was around 10. And then only a couple of times as a child. Then I went to Barcelona during A-Levels. I didn't start going abroad regularly until I met my DP in my early 20s. I'd like to think I am a fairly well-rounded individual...

However, that's stopped since we had children as we haven't been able to afford it as regularly (also Covid). My eldest is 7 and has been abroad once. My youngest is 5 and has only had holidays in Wales (and two short breaks at Centre Parcs!). We are going to Spain later this year so that will be 5 y.o.s first trip abroad.

I sometimes feel sad we can't take them away to more exciting places. But with the cost of living we are, quite simply, stretched. They have had lovely holidays in Wales though and I think quality time as a family is more important. And as another poster said some children don't get any holidays. Full stop. So I count my blessings and remind myself we are very lucky.

You haven't let them down! If anything you've stepped up, by reducing your hours to accommodate their needs despite the fact it means you can't go on foreign holidays every year.

The time you spend with them is what is helping giving them a happy stable home and a good childhood and I'm sure they'll cherish it.

@Dacadactyl I did, yes but as people have mentioned I went with my grandma and went to similar places each time eg the beach holiday. It was only as I got older I explored different places which I wanted to share with DC but hopefully it's something they can do as they get older.

And like I said on the OP, I know it's a stupid question and completely entitled but I still feel guilty and knew I needed the reality check.

Well I’ve reached 52 without my parents ever taking me on any form of holiday or out for a meal and I like to think I’m pretty well adjusted. Surprised you need to even ask this question of yourselves

It's a luxury, but it's also good for them to experience other cultures (not stay inside a resort and never encounter local people, food etc).

I teach languages, and so many (white British) kids I've taught don't seem to really understand that foreign languages are a real thing that normal people in other countries speak. It's depressing tbh. And when you show them pictures of French, Spanish or German food, lots of them make retching noises or look horrified and say it all looks weird and disgusting. Unlike the kids from other cultural backgrounds, who take it all in their stride.

That's why I'm really glad my school (unlike most others these days) runs exchanges, so the kids get to experience living in a foreign family for a week, rather than just staying in a hotel or youth hostel and looking at the sights.

We very rarely did foreign holidays when I was young. By the time I was an adult I had been on a plane twice, once there and once back. I like to think I am a well rounded individual 😁

how do holidays ensure someone is well rounded? its parenting, community and good luck
one of my most rounded friend grew up relatively poor but her father took her around the world in stories. Most of them made up. She grew up a compassionate and curious person. Now she has travelled to over 50 countries probably close to 100. Then i know another lady, she has travelled since she was a kid but she is the opposite of well rounded. Got a driver fired in India because they were stuck in traffic. Throws tantrums on her regular travels abroad. Is a difficult colleague. Ive never met a single person whose interacted with her who doesn't have a bad thing to say about her although she herself thinks she is marvellous.
Do not put yourself under unnecessary stress because of something that is impractical for you and your family at the moment

Ah well then that's where the guilt will come from then. It was normal for you to go abroad and so you feel odd and therefore guilty, not being able to do it for your children.

A foreign holiday is so far down the list (when thinking about how to raise a child properly), I wouldn't worry about it for another second.

This absolutely. My kids have been abroad quite a lot but some of the holidays they’ve got the most from were in the U.K. (London for museums/galleries/shows and Lake District/Scotland/weeks at home enjoying the local coastline for outdoor activities). They’ve also loved holidays abroad but half of them were resort based and really can’t see how they’d have been less rounded if the missed out on a week swimming lots in the pool/having the odd wander to a nice beach.

how do holidays ensure someone is well rounded?

No one thing ensures someone is well rounded. It's lots of things. That's pretty much the definition of being well rounded! Having direct experience of other countries and cultures is one small aspect of being well rounded.

I know exactly what you mean and how you feel OP. I grew up with extended family in 2 different countries in Continental Europe, so was used to going abroad to visit them several times a year.

It's only since having my own kids and not having any family abroad to visit that I see what a privileged life I had growing up and that that wasn't actually the norm for most people!

It hasn't stopped the feelings of guilt that I am providing a lesser standard of living for my kids though. We try to go abroad every 2 years at most. But the years inbetween that we don't go are hard, as we don't always go away in the UK either.

I don't know what the answer is as it's what you've grown up with and are used to. So it's perfectly normal to want the same or better for your own kids imho.

I think we just need to remind ourselves that it is a luxury to go abroad and we have been privileged to be able to do that in the past. But things are different now and that doesn't mean our kids will be disadvantaged in any way!

I’ve had these fleeting thoughts as well op, as someone who also went abroad annually as a child.

Covid was something of a hurdle to be fair. However, my child is well travelled within the UK so hasn’t lacked for cultural experiences and is really only now getting to the age where the sort of abroad holiday I enjoy would even be appropriate and enjoyable.

I really wouldn’t give it much thought, you are obviously an engaged mum, which is far more important than an annual holiday anywhere!

No. Happy and secure is better than well travelled

In an ideal world yes i would like to take my child abroad every year but is it going to be possible… absolutely not.