Should kids go on holiday abroad every year?

[TillyTooms]

To grow up well rounded or is it just a nice luxury to have?

Before having kids I imagined we'd be jetting off every year like I did pre kids however having a neurodivergent child has meant I'm not able to work as much as I could previously and our income has seen a reduction.

We have a comfortable income and can do days out and pay for my daughter's hobbies but not enough to jet away every year.

I know this sounds like a stupid question but I just feel like I've let them down somehow.

@TillyTooms my first thought is no, children do not need holidays abroad especially if under 10. All that they will remember is having fun in a pool with mum & dad or sleeping in a tent or a friend they made... point is, these things can happen anywhere sometimes even 2 minutes up the road.

So in that sense, holidays are a luxury.

However, on 2nd thought, older children and teenagers would benefit from being exposed to different cultures, experiencing different foods, smells and surroundings as well as learning about the history of a place and its people. The easiest way to achieve this is a holiday abroad.
But again, it's not essential. We are lucky in the UK to have a lot of different communities Depending where you live and where your DD goes to school, she might already experiencing this. I know both my DC have friends with different backgrounds DD (at uni) was invited to Eid celebrations while DS (14) loves going for tea at a friend's house from the Caribbean community- apparently the food is better??

So you can teach things and provide experiences without going on expensive holidays.

But there is always the point, where, visiting a specific place will give children that little bit extra in terms of understanding and opening their minds.
Obviously, this depends on the type and quality of the holiday (not money spent).
In your shoes, I'd save some money every month and take DD on and amazing trip or city break once she's 12 or 13 and has clearly expressed an interest in a specific art, landscape or history.

I know I might regret asking but please can you explain that a bit?

So you can't have a career unless you've been on holidays abroad? Well I managed.

ANNUAL foreign holidays, mind you. Don't forget the annual bit 😉 🙄

Lol! I went camping every year when young. Loved it. Never felt I missed out but maybe all my friends were poor too

Of course it’s a luxury.

many British kids who go abroad will have fun but not exactly a rich cultural experience

I do think it’s important if posssible to expose children to different places and cultures and make sure they’re aware there’s lot out there beyond where they grow up. But that doesn’t have to involve travelling abroad.

We couldn’t take our DC abroad until they were teenagers and even then we just rented a gite. I think they were still well rounded. Where did the idea that holidays are a right rather than a luxury? when we were children we thought we were lucky to be taken to Margate for two weeks in a flat.

Travel broadens the mind. We make savings elsewhere to ensure we travel abroad every year.

Nice to have but not necessary, even holidays in the UK. Young children get benefits from having different fun experiences but you can provide that by going places locally. I remember a colleague with a child talking about "his first holiday". The baby wasn't even one! At that age it's a holiday for the adults, not for the child. It just seemed daft to me. We took our DS to Greece when he was about two, but it was definitely a trip for us - and we weren't sure how well he would travel anyway. Experience builds character but it doesn't have to be abroad.

When DS did the National Curriculum swimming, the swim school teacher told me that about a third of the kids coming to the pool from schools had never been to a swimming pool before, ever. That's a lot of kids who won't be fortunate enough to go on expensive holidays either.

You do what you can for your children and don't waste a moment feeling guilty about what you can't do.

I didn't go abroad until I was 16, it just wasn't the done thing to go abroad!

My 5 year old has already had 2 all-inclusive holidays.

Thank you for all the kind comments.

I've been thinking about why I feel like this and definitely will mention it in my next therapy session but I think for me the time I went away with my grandma was a pleasant memory as home wasn't secure so to answer my own question even going away doesn't mean your a well rounded individual.

I'm just trying the best for my children but I like to think their home life is better for them than it was for me and they don't need the escape the same.

But I like the idea of saving for a bigger trip when DD is older (not sure DS could go) and I'm going to look at holidays in the UK and see what we fancy - my children are only young yet anyway so everything's new to them and hopefully they enjoy just spending time together.

While it’s a luxury I think it’s also quite important if you can afford it . I went abroad for the first time at 13 (I lived in a communist country until I was about 10 and travelling abroad wasn’t really an allowed thing there) and found it life changing. I’ve taken my now 5yr old to multiple countries and after each trip I feel he grows a lot mentally and emotionally; he’s a very adventurous eater, is interested in speaking other languages and trying new things.

I never went to hollidays abroad with my family as they prioritised that we have nice place to live and flat they left to my DSis.
I lived around Europe and have amazing job and nice home. Never regretted how my childhoid was.

Tbh children under certain age do not need hollidays abroad, it is just more stress. After certain age it is nice to have luxury but in no way crucial. Better to save £100 and give them to go on a cheap flight and hostel when they are 18. And for that money you cannot even get to an airport as a family.

Babies just like eating sand and pebbles.
Toddlers love anything inflatable and a new playground.
4-8 is food and maybe new place. It can be camping in a forest 500m away from home.
8-11 is anything with available electricity to charge phone or games and some fun thing like pool, going to new town to buy something etc.
Only in secondary they have social circle aware of amazing holidays and mental capacity to process being imersed in another culture. But it is just nice luxury.
Untill that point they can learn as much from an hour visit to a museum/castle and complimentary meal.

I only ever went abroad with school as a kid. My parents didn't have the money to take us. I haven't taken my 4yo abroad yet. Hoping to this year but won't cry if we don't. I grew up well rounded and did a lot of travelling as a young adult. Most younger kids going abroad seem to spend their time in the hotel pool, so not much different to the UK?

Experiencing a wide range of new things is important to being well rounded. Travel is a really good way of doing this and does give you experience in some life skills like getting on a plane, train, new languages etc. This doesn't have to be abroad all of the time. A child who has been camping in the UK national parks, experienced the free national museums, had trips to the seaside etc is as well rounded if not more than a kid that's been to a TUI all inclusive every year where they're sat by the pool for 7 days.

An annual holiday is good for family bonding and well being. An annual abroad family holiday isn't going to make your child well rounded though

I never went abroad with my parents only my auntie once to Canada to stay with friends and disneyland Paris. We have taken the kids abroad once and going again this year. Many of my friends don't go abroad often certainly not every year.

Holidays are great when you can afford them and have time and energy to arrange them well.

They're not necessary and they don't always have to be overseas even when you take them every year.

Definitely one to challenge in your own head, if you're struggling.

No, mine have been on some great holidays abroad and travelled to see their dad in Asia when he was working there, but they definitely haven’t gone every year

I actually think it’s nice to give your kids a really rich and densely-layered knowledge of their own country, and leave them the joy of stretching their wings further afield when their older.

I have a friend who’s taken her primary school aged kids to Vietnam, Jordan, Kenta, etc, and I can’t help wondering what those kids will do when they reach the age to seek their own adventures.

This may come as some surprise to you, but you can visit places twice

Sour grapes

You could go 'abroad'. UK airport, resort that has Irish pubs, english breakfasts. You could return having experienced nothing. But maybe with a suntan.

Or you could explore our own country. You might find ancient castles, unusal foods.

"Well rounded" is a middle class myth where middle class parents tell themselves this is an important thing (that can be achieved through money)

Same with DoE or playing an instrument or going on an (expensive) volunteering project abroad (helping the disadvantaged in the U.K. is not glam enough)

All these things are really just signifiers of middle class ness and to root out kids who don't fit that mould

The funny thing is though that in the world of work having been on holidays as lot, playing an instrument and having done DOE counts for nothing and nobody cares

So go on holidays abroad if you like, but don't worry if you can't or don't want to

The uk has roughly the GDP of Texas....travelling within a tiny nation really isn't going to give kids the international advantage they need. They need to b navigate timezones, food, language, culture etc in order to have a career in an international company. There are precious few UK only jobs that's make 1% money.

I went on one foreign holiday with my family as a child, one school trip to Europe and I have been abroad to Europe once as an adult for a weekend. I’m in my 50’s.

I couldn’t even afford holidays in the UK with my child. He’s in his 30’s he’s been abroad three times once to France with a relation, once was a European school trip and once to Spain with a friend and their family.

Myself and my DP won’t be having any holiday this year even in the UK as we have mortgage and bills to pay.

I think it's a luxury unless you have family abroad. My parents/then solo mum took us abroad every year, sometimes twice until I was 16. Then I didn't go abroad again until I was 30! My kids have had plenty of UK holidays and are about to go abroad for the second time. I don't feel like they've missed out as England has some beautiful places.

I don’t really think where you holiday has any bearing on how well rounded you end up!