Should kids go on holiday abroad every year?

[TillyTooms]

To grow up well rounded or is it just a nice luxury to have?

Before having kids I imagined we'd be jetting off every year like I did pre kids however having a neurodivergent child has meant I'm not able to work as much as I could previously and our income has seen a reduction.

We have a comfortable income and can do days out and pay for my daughter's hobbies but not enough to jet away every year.

I know this sounds like a stupid question but I just feel like I've let them down somehow.

Obviously it’s a total luxury. However we do feel it’s a really valuable experience for DCs and my DH has some of his fondest childhood memories from holidays abroad (I only went twice as a child!). Therefore we have decided to buy a massive tent and go camping abroad every year. Probably France, Holland and Germany mainly but may try other countries too, maybe Denmark or even Sweden. This is the only way that an annual trip abroad in the school holidays will be affordable for us. Cut your cloth and all that. We are also camping in the Uk too and already have three trips planned for this year.

We are a middle class family with a decent income. Our children have not had holidays abroad every year, no way. Why is this even a consideration? What could they have gained from holidaying abroad over holidaying in their home country? Or even not "holidaying" at all?

Holidays of any sort are a luxury. You’re being sensible and not getting into debt for a holiday, so you are doing right by your DC.

Absolutely not letting them down at all! Laying on a beach all day sunbathing and swimming isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.

I’d rather go to London as I find beach holidays boring. In fact, DH and I have been together for 10 years and never been on a beach holiday together. Been to Florida twice but to the theme parks. We much prefer city breaks.

I so agree. I was born in the early 60s into a well-off family, but I didn't have many holidays because my parents divorced when I was 10 and after that one parent didn't want to take me on holiday because he had left us and had another family, and the other parent didn't want to go on holiday because she was a depressed alcoholic.

I didn't leave the country until I was 13. My grandmother never did, my dad can't have until he was an adult.

We try to go every year because I enjoy holidays abroad. The kids prefer Butlins! It's a nice thing to have but not essential.

We travel a lot and I do think it’s given our daughter wonderful experiences. But we are very aware that it is a privilege / luxury, it’s one we prioritise, but we are very aware that not everyone can afford to do it!

I am heartened by this thread, thank you for posting it. My dc are 9 and 6 and have never been abroad. I'm a single parent and we usually take a holiday in the uk every year with my mum. My mum doesn't want to go abroad so we don't go. I don't want to go abroad with the kids by myself because the idea of being in a foreign country alone with my kids fills me with anxiety to be honest, not to mention the travelling. Maybe when they are older.

Of course it's absolutely a luxury.

However.

I was lucky enough to travel a lot as a child. My parents loved to travel and showing me the world was something they felt hugely proud of being able to do.

So I've grown up loving travel.

DH had travelled very little before we met (at uni) so found it daunting but very exciting in our early 20s when I dragged him all around the world.

We've been equally lucky to be able to afford for our DC to have already visited numerous countries and continents and in general we have one big trip and a few short breaks to different places each year.

We're under no illusion that it's what everyone can do - but for me seeing the world and having holidays are a priority whenever possible.

I actually did go abroad every year when I was a kid. The first year and only year of my life I didn’t travel outside the UK was 2021 as I felt like it wasn’t worth the aggravation with all the covid tests/changing travel rules. Thinking back the kids have been abroad every year except that one too but we are not planning to go this year. They both like beach/swimming holidays but given the choice of just one thing they both immediately picked London to go to shows and the Kensington museums.

I must have been a terrible parent then as I haven't been on a holiday of any sort, abroad or UK, since I was 15 & couldn't care less if I never go on holiday again.

It doesn't interest me, I don't feel relaxed or revitalised, I like being at home in my familiar surroundings & we have a houseful of animals to look after that I wouldn;t want to leave.

My children didn't miss out as they went away with their grandparents.

Of course it's a privilege and a luxury. I did feel quite sad when I realised that there were children in my daughter's class who had never been to a beach before even in the UK when the class had a school trip at 8 years old.

Thank you for this thread. My youngest doesn’t have a passport, eldest has been on a plane once due to trip to extended family. We live in a very middle class area and multiple trips abroad are normal, a half term visit somewhere ‘for a bit of sun’ and then a villa or something similar in the summer. We just don’t have the spare money (SAHM and big housing costs). We holiday in the UK and have a great time but I still feel a bit guilty

If you think back, it wasn't that common to go abroad every year - I'm 46 and we went abroad a few times when I was a kid but I remember it not being that common. I travelled loads in my 20s and 30s and never resented not doing that with my parents! Although as a family now we're fortunate enough that we do go abroad each year, I do get quite exasperated by the thinking that we're mistreating kids by not taking them to Disney or 'making memories' constantly. Disney is my idea of hell but DH thinks we 'should' do it as if it's some necessary part of childhood. Everyone's childhood is different or should be anyway.

I think they’re more well rounded with a good camping holiday or farmhouse holiday or the like!! We camped last year in a place that had crazy golf and family bingo and challenges. It was perfect (you got used to being freezing and then appreciating washing your hands in hot water/ having a cup of tea, playing cards, meeting loads of kids, in the mornings waking to a silent campsite. Just heaven!)

To grow up well rounded or is it just a nice luxury to have?

Whaaat? Fucking hell. Peak Mumsnet.

Ps from a middle class family and first time on a plane was when I was 14

What a strange question. I've never met anyone who would think it's a necessity and not a luxury.

There’s a climate crisis of course nobody needs to go abroad every year. We have done a lot of ferry holidays when we did go abroad but mostly holidays in the uk which I think are often more interesting as there are so many
museums and varied experiences. Loved our Wirral holiday for example - beaches, cottage on a farm, north Wales mountains and Liverpool docks.

My 12yo has had one holiday abroad with me and 2 with her dad. Covid obviously didn't help with travel plans but no, you don't need annual trips abroad

Well I've clearly failed if so, as did my parents and my grandparents. Most years we don't even get a holiday and on the rare occasion that we do, it's to stay in a caravan on the coast somewhere.

Necessary but only if they are to have a career and not a job.

You're more likely to get a well-rounded child from extracurricular activities than from holidays abroad. We are currently on holiday. It's our first proper holiday in 5 years. My kids have done zero cultural things, unless you count an occasional Spanish or German song during minidisco 🙃

So you can't have a career unless you've been on holidays abroad? Well I managed.