To cut my ties with this person

[ThatPeachSnake]

happened last year but still not over it.

I organised a hen party for a friend. I was ‘chief bridesmaid’, if you will.

first of all, she gave me a list of 30 people she wanted there and demanded it be abroad. She wanted no part in it and it all to be a surprise. I started a group chat and threw our dates and potential locations. About 15 people came back and said they couldn’t spend the money or take the time off work. So went back to bride to ask her if she would consider a weekend in the U.K., closer to home so that more people could attend. They are her friends after all, so I assumed she’d want them all there and it would be more important than the location. My head was bitten off and she was so nasty to me about me even suggesting a cottage rental in the countryside.

group dropped down to 15 people. I had to organise the entire trip - flights, accommodation, activities and meals all by myself. I can hand on heart say it was one of the most stressful and expensive experiences.

when we finally got to the hen party, she just didn’t seem happy. I had chosen a city location in Spain as the destination, but she’d been suggesting places like DUBAI, NYC and even the Maldives at one point 😂! She seemed almost disappointed that we were in Spain and not somewhere more ‘glamorous’.

by the second night there, it all kicked off. She made a scene proclaiming that ‘no one is thinking about the bride’. I was in absolute shock. We had all paid 100’s to be there with her and we’re staying in a gorgeous villa. We had nice ‘hen’ decorations, food and booze. We paid for her nights out. Everyone was having a wonderful time, bar her.

She didn’t speak to any one for the remainder of the trip and kept telling me how upset she was and how she wanted to go home. She looked into booking earlier flights so she could leave.

I was so shocked and embarrassed. I felt like I’d done a terrible job. I went to the wedding and decided I didn’t want to be friends with her anymore. The issue is, bar this one episode, she’s been an incredible friend to me. I haven’t spoken to her in a couple of months and I miss her. But the way she treated me over her wedding (there are other things too, but I will spare details!) was just horrific.

AIBU or should I give her another chance?

She is not a friend OP. She's a nasty cow. Why waste anymore time on her? Her true colours obviously came out around the wedding and you're better off out of it

She sounds an absolute bellend. Cut her out!

don't think I'd have agreed to go on the hen weekend - let alone organise it🙄

New York and the Maldives...fucking hell she thinks a lot of herself.
A shame she lost perspective over this. Mortifying for her.

What a narcissistic, ego-centric, vile cow. OP that must have been such a stressful experience for you. I would be happy to lose someone like that completely. What a Scary-Mary. The Maldives ?!

You've already given her way too many chances already.

She gave me a list of 30 people she wanted there and demanded it be abroad. She wanted no part in it and it all to be a surprise.

This is the bit where she showed you who she is and where I would have bowed out of organising it (at 50, would probably have felt obliged to go along with it at 28). The rest of it was no surprise after this.

She's repeatedly treated you (and others appallingly) over her hen do. I just couldn't be friends with someone like this, no matter what the old good memories are. The entitlement of being the bride seems to have ripped her mask off. This is who she is.

She's a knob. The fact that everybody else had a good time and she's fallen out with some of them too speaks volumes.

Walk away. You mention other incidents and being scared of getting it wrong. That's no friend.

You did your part and the other hens know this.

No contact from her. Petulant cow!

Ditch her. I wish you were my friend. I’d be eternally grateful for your effort

You sound lovely, she’s a nasty piece of work. Please put this out of your mind and move on. You deserve better.

She doesn't deserve you as friend OP. Don't even think about seeing her again. Put her firmly in your past and move on. 💐

She’s a rude self absorbed greedy grabby entitled CF and in your shoes I wouldn’t give a toss if i never saw or heard from her again.

Let her poor husband deal with her entitled arse - good luck to him he’s gonna need it

It's not your fault OP.

She's a nasty piece of work, you don't need a loser in your life like her. as she's a complete waste of organs.

Don't you be missing her, she's a cow for the way she has treated you, and others. You need to let go of it, let go of her and move on, life is too short.

I am so sorry she behaved like that and I hope some of the other hens were grateful for your efforts. Organising a hen is a massive amount of work and should be shared amongst several people. I'm not sure if there is any explanation or apology that could make me be friends with her again so I would recommend leaving her in your past. If you think you need to tell her how you feel to be able to move on then contact her. Have everything written down in case you aren't able to say it all.

You can't be friends or in a relationship with someone you are scared of.
You n need to consider you more.

Friendship should lift you not put you on anxiety meds. She sounds horrific. Just let it fade away and find nicer people to hang out with.

Wow, she behaved absolutely horrendously, what spoilt brat!!! How can you even want to be friends with somebody that self absorbed?? Your friend sounds beyond ridiculous - expecting people to fork out so she gets a free holiday to New York or Maldives??? and then moaning when what she is getting is absolutely amazing and she should be so grateful. I couldn't hold in my anger and would have to give her some home truths.
I have to decline a couple of very close friends hen dos because they have been abroad, I have been a bridesmaid both times. One was when i was going to be heavily pregnant - I was a bridesmaid so was helping to organise it, however the chief bridesmaid who was her sister insisted it had to be abroad - this meant a few people couldn't attend due to cost etc, and me because of how pregnant I was going to be. I didn't make a fuss but was sad because I knew if it were me, having my friends there was far more important than location. But I of course put her happiness first and just said I couldn't attend. The second, is a friend who has wanted to got to Ibiza - I now have 2 children and I am a single parent, so I can't afford to go unfortunately and don't have the childcare, again I am bridesmaid but she really wants Ibiza so I have just removed myself from the situation and am planning something smaller at home as well for her. I could tell she was upset but she got some perspective and understood. People have other things going on in their lives and it shocks me that anyone can think that their wedding and hen do needs to be other people's main priority. Of course if it's a close friend you want to try and make the effort to make them feel special, but it's not always doable for everyone.

Surely if she has not contacted you in months, she has already made the decision she is no longer a friend? Why would you want to be friends with someone who has not contacted you for so long?

Absolutely this. The moment she bit your head off was the sensible point to bow out. Crazy Bridezilla ! Chalk this up to experience and ignore

You deserve better than this. You were treated appallingly and with no remorse or apology shown. Just because you miss someone doesn’t mean they should be in your life. Move on OP x

Don’t be embarrassed by this OP. It’s awful the situation caused you to become ill. If someone put a fraction of this effort and thought into a celebration for me I’d be moved beyond words x

I am stunned..... What a CAUC this person is. Takes Bridezilla to another level

This is awful OP. People seem to go crazy over hen expectations. The idea your friends owe you days of their time and £100s to indulge in a luxury treat is so narcissistic. To have your friends do all that for you and it’s not good enough —— she sounds deranged honestly.

If she hasn't initiated contact OP, then I think the ties are cut. She hasn't reflected in the time since or reached out to apologise. I wouldn't lose any more time or emotional energy on her.

She’s not worth any more thought. Her behaviour was appalling, no excuse for it at all. Avoid her like the plague would be my advice.

You didn’t deserve that. She’s done you a favour, nobody needs “friends” like that. She should’ve been grateful to you.

You shouldn’t have been expected to do all of that in the first place. Selfish, demanding madame. Good riddance.