Realistic for SIL to rely on inheriting mother's London house

[Opalfleur2025]

SIL is 25 this year and told me she plans on "winging it' through life like her father. What her father did was that he got 100k out of the divorce settlement (despite not working through most of the marriage but he did buy a house jointly with MIL) and then moved to an Asian country where he has a new wife.

I think she is saying this because she knows that MIL would pass the whole house to her which I am fine with. She lives at home and earns a modest amount every month writing online i.e £1k per month. No plans to move out or increase earnings, and limited potential as she has no gcses

I am interested if this is realistic. I read that care can cost up to 65k per annum so assuming MIL goes into a care home for 3 years, that would only be around £210k? House is a 3 bed victorian terrace in zone 3 london so worth around £600k today so there should be plenty left for SIL? MIL's mum died of dementia and I suppose these things are hereditary.

I am a fan of Gary's economics and his view is that for poorer people who own homes (where they don't have other assets) all of the assets will be absorbed in retirement or end of life costs. MIL doesn't have a pension other than state pension and she is self employed (but her profession is under severe threat from AI and she is in her 60s). I know Gary's parents lived in London (owned a house that is pretty much identical to MIL's house) and so probably so did his grandparents? Yet according to him, there was absolutely no inheritance even if they did own their homes.

I also expect that many older people may sell their houses to pay for ancillary medical costs due to long nhs waiting lists.

DH and i own our home in London and we are making provision for our old age so inheritance not a concern for us.

Yes but she has no plans to change this and her mother is not encouraging her to change this.

So she is likely to not change. All of us have been given help at some point so what is key is sustainability.

If someone is gifted a deposit or had rent free living but has a good job and can keep up with mortgage payments then that is completely different.

Surely at 60 it is more likely your MIL may decide to cash in, sell the London house and move some where cheaper. Where would your SIL's plans be then?

Who is Gary 😂😂

i think you are overthinking this and are over invested (worried about your DH inheritance maybe?)
she is only 25, a lot can happen in the next 5-10 years.

She's only 25. Loads will change for her in the coming years with any luck.

She has no plans to do this as she likes london. I dunno if her hand might be forced. Is it possible to live on state pension if council tax bills rise even more and food costs double due to the many wars?

It;s also not a given that you'll need care for only 3 years. My DF has been in a nursing home for 5 years and shows no sign of going soon.

It's not only care home - there are a lot of expenses with being older - taxis because of physical infirmity making buses and tubes unfeasible, cleaner, someone to cut toenails because you can no longer reach them, to wash hair because it's too painful to hold your arms above your head, handyman for all sorts of tiny jobs (like changing light bulbs) that you would previously have done yourself, and that's before you consider the cost of carers.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/business/2022/jul/02/gary-stevenson-city-trader-turned-campaigner-i-made-money-betting-on-a-disaster

He had a video where he shared about his background, his parents owned a london terrace and so did his grandparents but basically there was no inheritance due to end of life costs. Not that he needed it as he was a millionaire trader who helped his siblings buy their properties.

Has your SIL said she's banking on inheritance or just that she is winging it through life? Which might mean living it differently to you and your DH.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3e6iPXtEMI/?igsh=MXFzZXQ0NGcycmV0Nw==

She said that her dad got 100k from his divorce from my MIL despite never working and so was able to get his dream lifestyle. So this method works.

She isn't married and doesn't leave the home most days so I assume when she means get money she means her mother.

It's the mention of the 100k. She doesn't mean going on housing benefit and living a very frugal lifestyle, she is aware she needs a bigger cash injection than that.

I've seen lots of people basically do what your SIL is doing, and it worked out well for them. I didn't realise this when I was younger but as I grow older I see that the transfer of assets from one generation to the next in small families props up marginal earnings to a comfortable level surprisingly often.

Obviously it is never safe to count on it but another thing I have noticed as I get older is that working steadily in a solid job and trying to provide for the future is not always a winning tactic either.

The only asset is the house though. It would be different if my MIL was very wealthy. Plus she has no pension except state pension.

Btw if you are worried about her soaking up your husband's inheritance I think that is totally reasonable.

Thing is, it is a situation that can quickly get toxic. Probably lots of fun living with your 60 year old mum in your early twenties and all your earnings can be pocket money.

Will it be so much fun when she is 44 and mum is 80 and neither can afford the up keep of the house and are co dependent?

She might find a partner who already owns a house. Lots of ways to wing it! She’s just being 25. Unlikely she’ll still be like that at 45.

Why does your SIL assume your MIL will cut the other 3 siblings out of her will and leave the house solely to her?

No i am not. We have always relied on the fact that there would be none. I am more likely to get one but then that isn't 100% either.

I just thought that the inheritance would be shared by the three sisters not just by one. The other two aren't exactly rolling in it either. But anyway even so is it even workable

Have you posted about this before? I'm sure I remember the sister earning 1k from writing. How has she managed to make a living writing if she didn't manage to pass any GCSEs?

I would be more worried that when mum dies if there is no money that SIL will expect to live with you.

My understanding was that there was no need to sell your property to pay for care. If all your money is tied up in a house then your care will be paid for once your savings (not including your home) go under a certain threshold. I know this is what happened with my mum (although admittedly I don't know the details). But she initially paid for 3 carers a day herself but then when her savings went under (£20k maybe?) then the council paid for it. Obviously a person might want to sell their home to release the equity for care or life in general. But I don't think it's necessary.
Regardless, yes your SILs current life plan is a bit stupid. If for no other reason that it entirely relies on circumstances outside of her control. But if she is only 25, maybe she will wake up and figure that out for herself. Maybe not!

If the house is definitely going to SIL, the best thing is for that transfer to happen now, long before care costs are a part of the equation.

I think there is a fair chance she’ll inherit something even if the DM goes into a nursing home. I know there’s a chance she could be in one for 20 years or whatever but the average stay is 2 years.
If I the amount is enough to buy a home outright, who knows?
So is her plan to never move out, marry of have DC, she’s only young she may end up doing anything with her life?
She may not want to end up a full time carer for her DM and move out.
People do say silly things and then grow up a bit and change their mind.

Haven't you posted about this situation at least once previously? Is there a change of circumstances since then??

She’s only 25 she may change careers or meet someone have dc etc in the future

if she doesn’t change she is in a vulnerable position mil may have to go into care and the house be sold my mil who did have dementia had to be put in a care home ss insisted so it was out of our hands

mil may change her will my dsis is reliant on inheritance to pay off her interest only mortgage and to cut along story short I wouldn’t be surprised if she has recently convinced dm to change her will and cut me out thankfully I planned my financial future without banking on getting any inheritance

I would wonder whether SIL is talking about “winging it” as an expectation management tool with family. She is turning 25, has no real qualifications, earns poorly and would seem little social life. She may or may not be genuinely fine with this. But she might want to “low ball” with family by suggesting this is actually the plan rather than a perceived loss of face by saying she wants more that she then doesn’t achieve.