To consider a bigger rental flat when DH is unemployed?

[leftorrightnow]

This is a tricky situation and lots of emotions involved, so please be gentle!

• We live in a two bed flat with two kids, 7 and 9 years old, they share a room, this room is also DH's home office
• The flat is rental, we love the area and it's near my job and the kids' school which is a great school where we'd like them to stay and they are thriving there
• The flat, however, has glass doors into the living room from the kids' room, so after they've gone to bed and we have closed those doors, we have to be very quiet in the living room and can't speak in more than hushed tones, can't watch a film etc..
• DD, who is 9, is begging for her own room consistently and is also introvert and needs her space
• We had been planning to get a mortgage this after the summer last year but in September, DH lost his job due to a crisis in his industry, which is still ongoing, with high levels of unemployment globally. Currently the outlook for his reemployment is uncertain (he is doing all he can, don't want to overload the post with details on this..)
• My job situation is stable and my job is well-paid enough that we can with no problems stay in this flat, on my income and his unemployment support, which he is guaranteed for two years (17 months more from now). We can even still have the occasional meal out and are going on holiday this year, and have not touched our savings yet.

• I am considering looking for another rental in our area with one more room and a rent increase of approx. GBP 200-300 per month. On our current income we can manage that, just would have to cut back a bit on 'fun' spending like new clothes and meals out and holidays, but not to the extent of cutting it all, just being a bit more careful.

• But is this a bad move, given that A) getting a mortgage would be better in the long run, and we would be able to get that (a bit further out though) once DH is hopefully employed again - but when will this be we don't know B) increasing expenses when one person is unemployed seems irresponsible, isn't it C) the loss of deposit (it always happens, right??) would then be times two, and the other costs associated with moving are also to be considered.

• BUT: I feel so bad not being able to provide the kids each their room, I'm being driven mad by the lack of privacy for DH and I, and every time someone comes around I feel a bit embarrassed about the small space and the kids sharing a room and with DH's computer in there too (I know this last pint is so superficial, but had to mention it).

What would you all do?

I'd stay put. Kids may want a room each but this is not essential and not realistic for many families. They don't understand the financial implications of making it happen and may not be massively happy with a more frugal lifestyle as a result of you making a move.
I would only really consider it if I had substantial savings and if DH had the next employment lined up. If there is a crisis in his industry, what about other employment opportunities? I feel like he maybe needs to be a bit more proactive and think outside the box. Also, why does he need an office if he is not in work?

He is thinking out of the box all he can (was expecting this question to come up, but did not want to make the initial post too long) but there are other challenges in that we live in a European country, we relocated here five years ago, and plan to stay, I speak the language but he doesn't.

He is learning but is not yet fluent enough to get a job where local language fluency is needed. I am pushing him to focus on the language learning now as well, so far he has been focusing on learning new skills within his area, (he is in an IT/creative field, so he has been learning new programmes which can help him get work in related fields), and is currently trying to get an internship withing this adjacent industry.

He needs the office because he is using the computer setup all day to learn the new programmes.

Honestly I'd move.
You can afford it without touching savings. While your husband may find it hard to get a job in his current field can he explore other areas( or if he has protected income for 17mths - is that right) could he use the time to retrain / gain wide skills?

Doh sorry saw your post after I posted!

With a Husband who isnt fluent enough in the local language to get a job easily I wouldnt get a mortgage or increase my rent.

Swap the house around

Why can't you have the bedroom with the glass doors to the lounge and the children have the other room?

Does your husband have to work in the country you are in? It will take him a long time to get fluent. Can't he do some work remotely in English?

Sorry, wasn't clear on that point, we would have to use savings to move, would need if for the new deposit. We would likely loose the whole deposit for this flat as we lived here or five years and there is a lot of wear and tear which the tenant is liable for in this country.

Meant in our current situation we haven't touched our savings.

Can parents swap room with the kids? Giving the kids the quieter bedroom would help you relax more.

I’d stay in that flat, look at swapping rooms so you have more of a living room suite and put the kids in the other room.

Your husband needs to find some work until his industry picks up. Even if it’s very low level/menial. The way you describe your savings sounds like you don’t have a huge cushion should something else crop up.

He has been working mainly remotely since we moved here (has had some local gigs but his industry isn't wel-developed here, we moved here for my job and as I have family here - note - I am not expatriated here, just found a good job here)
but the issue is his industry is in crisis globally. Every job post has an overload of applicants, he is applying to them all, but so far no luck, and this means the crisis in his industry may also last for years and the outlook is uncertain, which is why he is trying to move into an adjacent industry, but even that is hard, safe of completely retraining, there ins't a lot more to do right now...and retraining would mean years of very low income as he retrains, whereas his industry is well paid when he is working.

Yes have thought of switching the room around, but currently we keep the glass doors open during the day as it makes the whole space feel bigger and works really well with the kids using the whole space (living room and play room), and obvs, we would not be doing this if that was our bedroom...but may reconsider..

Kids get room each. You sleep in lounge. Younger kid gets dad's desk in their room.

Once hubby finds job, look to buy or rent a bigger place.

Hubby could also work for co-working place (which is cheaper than moving....) or library etc Depends if his stuff is portable - IE can do most without dual screens etc

He wouldn't be making more than unemployment support in a manual labour role, unemployment support in this country is very good for the first two years if you have private unemployment insurance, which is where he gets the support from, not state funded.

Personally I’d stay put until he is employed.

That's a terrible idea, giving your bedroom to one of the children and sleeping in the living room!

Stay where you are. You are happy and you and your children have the security of home until your husband is reemployed.
Reconfigure the rooms. Have fun doing that.
Consider making your room the one with the glass doors and putting up a divider of some sort in the other room for the kids.

Yes this is the challenge, he needs dual screens and very high speed internet for his stuff, as well as special programmes on the computer, it is not a laptop situation.

I know my mum suggested that too but the thing is I am a TERRIBLE sleeper. Like terrible suffered severe insomnia for years and still frequently sleep badly. The living room has lots of windows and it would be near impossible to make it dark...I feel I would be giving up my sleep sanctuary which is key to me functioning in daily life...

but the idea of giving the kids the other room may not be bad...the thing is though that it is smaller than the current room, so not sure they'd be happier.

Parents swap rooms with kids and use parents' room as an extra living space in the day? I'm not suggesting an extra sofa, but maybe a TV or console and lots of cushions on the bed.

Can throwing money at the problem help? Eg a foldaway bed to increase living space, an ottoman bed would improve storage, foldaway desk. I know funds are a bit tight but one offs are easier to manage than committing to increased monthly spends and potentially 2x moving costs.

One thing I have thought about is to simply block the glass doors and giving up on the convenience of having them open during the day. Blocking them with some boards to soundproof, and maybe putting the kids bunk bed there...and then maybe moving DH's computer into our bedroom, which means he can't work after I want to go to sleep, but he would have to live with that, given he has all day to do that now, should be able to manage!

...then they wouldn't have each their room still, but they'd have more of their own space, and that way we could maybe get rid of the bunks and they could have each their separate beds and more of a 'divided' room.

We would also ove out the city and then we would have more space for the money (we are in the capital and an expensive area) but the thing is we all love the area, the kids are in a very good school (very hard to get into as well and it is a secondary school too) and I can bike to work, so if we oved out I'd be home so late and have hardly any time with the kids

Can you hang heavy curtains across the glass doors to absorb a little of the sound from the living room? If you have some storage you could take the glass doors off and hang solid doors as well and just replace the glass doors when you move out?

Or put a small seat and TV in your bedroom? And move into the bedroom when the kids go to sleep?

Stay put and build up savings to get a mortgage. No doubt. Agreed with switching the rooms so you have the glass doors- I don’t see what difference that would make (I don’t think I’d really mind my room being open during the day as long as you can get it tidy before night time)? And if it doesn’t work then you can change it back. Also if you’re switching the rooms see if you can either put in a partition or get a proper screen or shelving unit to divide the kids’ rooms up a bit more obviously- I suspect a change and a bit more privacy will go a long way. Future financial security will benefit your 9yr old much more, even if she doesn’t quite appreciate it yet.

Do not increase your outgoings voluntarily right now.

Can you sleep with an eye mask and earplugs? Sleep is precious to me and I have a whole palaver with various sleep aids to ensure I get enough sleep.

Rejig your living space to work better for your family. Be a good example of frugal living to children. This will pass.

Don't sleep in the living room then - that won't work. Both kids. Same room. But if you have G/B children, your oldest may not be happy sharing with her brother for long.

On the co-working space bit, I'd ask him to look into it and discussed costs etc why? Because dual screen set up takes up a lot of space- and he could maybe rent a desk and leave his gear there? It would also mean he is out of the house every day, improving his language skills and meeting new people for potential opportunities in adjacent fields.

Not having his big desk in a small apartment would make the place feel more spacious

Hello fellow insomniac! I already cant' sleep AT ALL without eye mask, wax earplugs, special socks, the perfect temperature and prodding DH about en times to make him stop (lightly snoring) lol
so you see why the thought of disrupting my sleep environment isn't appealing to me...

yes I think you are right we need to stay put. DH thinks so too..

Can dh put his desk in your bedroom?
I don’t think I’d be making a bigger financial commitment when the employment situation is so shaky