To be p*ssed off DP has a pointless 30m call with a female work colleague every day?

[colachive]

Just this. He has a 30 minute call with the same female work colleague (who he has stated "reminds him" of his ex-wife) every single work day. He's said it started as a project check in and now they just chat.

I don't really know how to bring this up with him but something about it just aggrevates me. It feels off. AIBU??

I have a 15 minute "handshake" call with a male colleague every day. Our talk is mostly the day's priorities, problem solving, resource planning and we can veer off into the weather, our kids, the shit government, our CEO's poor decision making, beer. Zero attraction either side.

If they're not already having an affair, they're about to. It's not just the unnecessarily frequent contact, but the mentionitis and the way he's so pleased that she apparently thinks he's a gentleman.

I've worked in the corporate world for nearly 40 years. Anyone who's having lunch/coffee with the same person everyday, to the exclusion of other colleagues, was always up to no good

I have a male colleague I get on well with and talk regularly - have a teams chat, insta chat for work related memes, and go out for lunch semi regularly. Because we're friends. Nothing more. My husband likes him and has no issues.
You sound insecure

What a load of bollocks nonsense.

I'm the only female in my office full time. It's heavily male dominated. I used to have a work husband before he left. Would go for lunch etc, sometimes grab a coffee, generally help each other out. No interest otherwise, and nowadays though we do occasionally keep in touch it's very much just if we see something that would be an in joke, so it's just the very occasional whatapp. We both knew each others partners from social things etc. If i couldn't be mates with a bloke at work i'd be really lonely whilst all the guys could have friends! I don't think you can read too much into the fact it's a catchup with a female, particularly if both are WFH.

It’s every single day I find odd. Who would want to talk to a work colleague for 30 mins every day? Is there really enough work stuff to cover?

I can just imagine the batshittery that would occur on here if people knew that in one of my old roles in a specialist paramedic team, on night shifts I would, shock horror, clutch your pearls, SLEEP IN THE SAME ROOM as my male colleague. Sometimes we’d even change into specialist PPE IN FRONT OF EACH OTHER! This is all alongside eating together and having conversations.

Luckily their wives and girlfriends were mostly normal.

I agree with all of this. But while I’ve had great buddies among male work colleagues I’ve never talked with a particular one for 30 mins every single day and I think I would struggle and find it quite weird.

I've had multiple male colleagues I've had lunch or coffee with regularly over the years. Never always on our own and every single day though, and in my experience those they did were either having or on the verge of an affair or were plotting a fraud (or both)!

Exactly. Regularly - absolutely normal. When the need arises or you both happen to be free etc.

Every day, booked in - that’s weird. And personally I would find it rather awkward.

In my job...absolutely!
And you know, some of us like our colleagues and enjoy talking to them.

You sound unhinged

I work with all males. I also WFH mostly and have daily chats with one or two in particular that I get on well with. They are married too but my work relationships are absolutely none of their wives business.

I have made male friends from work over the years and have had coffee or even gone for dinner with a few. Completely platonic and nothing weird going on at all ( even those with girlfriends of wives)

You have trust issues and are projecting them on to your husband. Low level starting of potential coercive control from you

Bottom line is his work relationships have nothing to do with you and if my partner acted like you I'd be ending it sharpish

So you have a 30 min booked call with the same bloke day in day out?

Why would you bizarrely infer I don’t like my colleagues or want to talk to them? I’m talking to them daily anyway as I’m working with them. I just chat ad hoc, don’t most people? A scheduled daily meeting with anyone, even one’s partner, would be weirdly forced.

*Exactly. Regularly - absolutely normal. When the need arises or you both happen to be free etc.

Every day, booked in - that’s weird. And personally I would find it rather awkward*

Maybe in your job but I'm not sure you can say that without knowing the OP's partners jobs, company dynamics etc.

So you have a 30 min booked call with the same bloke day in day out?

I have one booked in 3 days a week and we speak multiple times a day.

Maybe it's me he's having a chat with 😂

The gentleman thing sounds like mentionitis to me.

You sound weird. He's at work, working, talking with colleagues. If nothing else is going on then I really don't get the issue.

If it was in the office I’d guarantee it would be more than 30 minutes a day, you wouldn’t know about it because it’s absolutely normal.

That's what I feel.
Why did he need to mention the handbag incident in the first place?
Why mention she looks like his ex wife?
Sounds at the very least he is enjoying winding OP up about his colleague, even if there is nothing in their over frequent contact.

A friend of mine used to speak with the same male colleague everyday at the same time, none of it was about work. They ended up having an affair. I don't think you're wrong to be concerned unless she looks like someone he wouldn't be attracted to at all. This is often how relationships develop in the world of work, I saw it many times in my time in the corporate world. Does he also message her outside of work time?

Every working day is unusual, but whether it is innocent or not, there is nothing you can realistically do about it. Best not to fixate on it.