To be p*ssed off DP has a pointless 30m call with a female work colleague every day?

[colachive]

Just this. He has a 30 minute call with the same female work colleague (who he has stated "reminds him" of his ex-wife) every single work day. He's said it started as a project check in and now they just chat.

I don't really know how to bring this up with him but something about it just aggrevates me. It feels off. AIBU??

, I’m waiting for Aunt Flo and might be unnecessarily ragey!
really? 🙄

My male boss rings me every day, sometimes for up to an hour to tell me about his breakfast, his latest drama with his newest girlfriend and to rant about work/other colleagues

I put him on loudspeaker and drink a cup of tea and make the occasional "mmhmm" noise

He also texts me funny jokes and is generally a good egg

My husband couldn't care less

Why did he show you a screenshot of his diary? Was it unprompted, or were you pressuring him to prove something?

In a project environment having a daily catch up is completely normal. I have 2 people that I have a daily catch up with (my right hand people, yes it’s chat, but also updates, delegation, general organisation, 3-4 where it is weekly, and a dozen or more where it is monthly.

Ouch! Imagine having to show your partner you’re busy, during work hours 🤦🏾‍♀️.

My work husband was my straight, married female colleague. We car shared, made each cups of coffee and all sorts together. No one batted an eye, because we were both female.

YABU.

I am sorry but this isn't normal or acceptable.

I would speak to one colleague (friend) most days when we wfh for about this long. It’s hard wfh and not having people around to check in with about whatever random stuff crops up. The bag thing was just him being a decent person and her being grateful? I don’t see anything worrying here op x

It is both normal and acceptable.

Is it acceptable to take a coffee break with the same colleague every day?

What is unacceptable is thinking that you can tell someone who they can and can not speak to in work.

😆

Oh honestly. If they were in a physical office together would you expect them to sit silently without chatting all day?!

Sitting in an office and chatting is not the same thing as factoring in a 30 minute phone call every day.

Are you the colleague?

He is shagging her. Sorry OP.

I have posted before that I have a "work husband" and have for years. Working remotely has changed the relationship but we still check in on Wednesdays and Fridays - speaking at least 1/2 hour each day. To speak each day for 1/2 hour is a lot! That seems like extra effort for one person!

Playing Devils Advocate, I work in a small team and I speak to one male colleague every day, sometimes 5 or 6 times work related and then at other times it'll be once and we'll spend 40 minutes talking about our families or just chatting. When I was off with stress he called my mobile and said 'its just a mate checking up on a mate, are you ok?' There is honestly nothing to it at all, we are literally just friends, I know his wife, he knows my husband and husband calls him my 'work husband'. Nothing to it at all, and thankfully no one else thinks there is either, sometimes its just people who get on?

Sounds more like he's under pressure to explain himself to OP all the time.

Must be draining having someone so controlling on his case constantly.

Exactly!

I have a colleague who I have a regular catch up scheduled every week but we also chat most days. It's a legacy from when he was my line manager but we still find it useful to meet. I'd say that 50% of the time it's work related but often it's a rant/chat/check in. We also travel internationally together a few times a year.

He is so like my husband it's uncanny - it's probably why we get on so well. My husband knows all of this and wouldn't dream of making an issue out of it.

Do you ask to see his calendar or does he feel he needs to show you?

Either way, you are being unreasonable. He's at work and of course he's going to chat to colleagues. I usually work on my own with one man for the full day, so we'll chat on and off all day, every day.

I would often have catchups with individual people in my diary, if I was working on a busy project, I might have daily catchups, particularly with the lead on the project, as I needed status updates. Sometimes there's not a lot to report and we would chat instead. If the project was long running, I might have kept these going for months depending on the duration of the project. If we started not talking about work or they seemed less necessary, I would probably reduce the frequency, but I can see how a meeting ended up staying in there if they are working together.

I think this depends entirely on the nature of the work he does and it sounds like the call was legitimate at least some/most of the time.

I'd be really annoyed if I had to explain all my project catchups to my DH! Talking on these calls is basically my work.

I am sorry but this isn't normal or acceptable.

Why?

Is it just me that thinks women are getting worse on MN.

Yep, I’d be fuming. Don’t let people tell you you’re ‘controlling to be the point of abusive’, what the actual hell 😅
He has a one-to-one phone call to the same woman for 30 minutes every day, not a work conversation but a ‘chat’, and it’s a woman he has told you reminds him of his ex wife. Of course you’re going to be annoyed and feel jealous, that’s a perfectly normal reaction.

The only thing I find odd, is that he’s felt the need to share his calendar with you to show you how busy he is. Yet he has time for 30 minutes chitchat every day. Which they seem to get away with in the diary by saying it’s “project catch up”. Whoever this daily chat would be with, if he’s that busy, he must enjoy it a lot. Or, he’s not actually that busy.

Or he's a perfectly normal person sending a snapshot of a freakishly packed schedule that happens to look like a well-played game of Tetris to their spouse with a note saying "look at this week I've ended up with!" like normal people do.

We can't know.