To think it’s rude not to wave your guests goodbye?

[Pastelbuttercream]

I was brought up to always wave guests goodbye at the door and only shut the front door once they had driven off. This was the norm when I was growing up, everyone did it. If they were not parked near your house you’d walk to their car and wave them off there.

The amount of people who do not do this anymore surprises me. I always feel it’s rude but maybe I am out of touch?

If you don’t wave your guests off, why not? (besides having to close the door incase your toddler runs out, this I completely understand!)

Am I old fashioned? Is this not a thing anymore?

Fond memories of driving away from my grandparents and them waving and shouting tatty bye.

@BooBooDoodle Tatty bye! Goodness, no one has said tatty bye to me since my grandad died. That takes me back. Are you Northern too? Is it regional or is it just old fashioned do you think?

Would also add that I associate this way of saying goodbye with grandparents (all but one have passed) so I don’t feel particularly bothered by it, it just reminds me of them. I think it’s sweet but I wouldn’t mind if anyone didn’t want to wave

Most of my friends and family use Google Maps or Waze even for familiar journeys for live traffic, speed cameras etc. Amazed you've not come across this.

Tatty bye @Greywitch2 still in use, from London, now in Cornwall.
I think it was a Ken Dodd thing but off the top of head also might be a corruption of TTFN, which was a WW2 thing, from the comedy programme ITMA.
Nothing new on the planet, ROFL.

MIL does this. And if she's taken me anywhere and drops me off at home, I have wait outside while she drives up the road and turns the car round so that I'm still stood there ready to wave when she comes back past me.
The other week we were at her house and my adult DD was there too. DD left before the rest of us and MIL sent me outside to wave her off. DD's there saying "Go inside, this is embarrassing" and I'm saying "I can't- your Grandma won't let me!" 😂

Yes exactly this - and even if I look to be "checking my phone" I'm probably putting audiobook or music on for DC, setting Google Maps etc.

I don't know why anyone would find that rude! I'm not forcing you to stand there while I faff!

My paternal grandparents always did this (and I remember my mum hated it) but I’ve never known anyone else do it. Thought it was just a quirk of my grandparents.

lol I don’t like to stand at the door cold gets in and I normally look disheveled by the time guests leave. My toddler however will stand at the door waving a shouting ‘bye’

Oh gosh. I don't mean to be rude or unkind but honestly, sometimes it seems as if people are looking for something to be offended or upset about. It certainly wouldn't occur to me be offended if I didn't get waved off... and I do it sometimes and not others. Depends on the person, situation, conversation, situation, weather etc. I'm pretty sure it's not some recognised form of British etiquette to get ones knickers in a knot over

I always see guests to door and just wait a few minutes whilst they get into car (on our drive) then I head back inside. Used to get waved off by my parents but now they are too old to do that but I still beep the horn when I leave them (they still live remotely and I probably won’t do that when they move shortly into town!). I think it’s really sweet and reminds me of my grandparents and parents.

I'm with you OP..... feel a bit offended if I'm not waved off lol

because when you have a bunch of small, hyper/tired/sugar buzzing kids to get into a car and settled for the drive home it’s a bit stressful. One of mine always used to cry leaving friends/families places (he’s autistic and transitions are hard for him) another would be desperate to leave ,bouncing with anticipation (also autistic) and that’s hard enough without someone watching you. I appreciate that’s not the case for everyone but it can’t be that hard to realise that for some people it IS difficult. Driving round the corner and stopping again would cause carnage in my car, so best avoided.

I don't do it precisely because I hate it when others stay and wave me off.

My grandparents always did it and my parents still do it. I really wish they wouldn't, as others have said I then feel under pressure to immediately drive off when what I really want to do is spend a few minutes setting up a podcast to listen to, checking Google maps, sorting out DDs etc but can't because I feel guilty for faffing when someone is waiting on the doorstep 😂.

So I don't subject others to it. I say goodbye, give them a big hug and then close the door.

Always waved off by my parents and we (me and my sisters) beep beep as we turn the corner. Our parents would do the same beep beep as they drove away from our homes. It’s such a family tradition that when Dad died, we asked the undertakers if they would beep beep as they drove him away to the chapel of rest. They drove off very slowly and respectfully as we stood at the bottom of the drive and beep beeped on the corner - it is the most comforting memory of the day he died for all of us.

I always wave close friends and family off and my adult children now beep beep as they drive away if going on a long journey. I like the tradition. I remember finding it very odd when visiting my husband’s parents and they would say goodbye at the door and have the door closed behind them before we had even started the engine! It makes you feel like you’ve been keeping them from something and they don’t care that you are leaving!

Going against the grain, I do this and so do all my family 😁 oh and most of my friends!

I don’t mind being waved off, but I hate the way my MIL will often come out and open our car door when we arrive. She opens one of the back doors where the kids are. She once did it outside a restaurant while the car was still moving.

Beeping the horn is really inconsiderate to any neighbours. Just wave and don't be inconsiderate especially if children may be in bed. Some people may be shift workers. The world doesn't revolve around you.

I do this. Well, I don't stand waving but I wait until the person is ready to drive away and wave once. With people on foot, I wait until they've walked a little way up the street, but don't wave. It seems rude to just go back into the house and shut the door whilst the visitor is still in sight.

I agree that it’s the polite thing to do and I always do it and kind of expect others to do it and they almost always do. Having said that, you have to get in the car start the engine and drive off, there’s no time for faffing with the satnav or whatever. Which means you often have to drive to the bottom of the road turn a corner and immediately pull over just to set your satnav. Now I know people are going to ask “don’t you know your way from your friends’/relations’ home without a satnav. Answer, no, not for the ones that live in Manchester that I only see once every 10 years. And not for the ones who live in other parts of London where traffic conditions dictate you seldom drive the same route twice (thank heaven for Waze).

I just turned 50 and I still do it as that was how I was raised and my teenage children are expected to do it too and they do. It’s polite and old fashioned yes, but that’s not a bad thing. We need to keep traditions going and I think this is a keeper! Those who don’t like it becuase they want to do their own thing once they’ve left…do it around the corner! The hostess has welcomed you etc. so finish the night politely. When I leave someone’s house and they wave me at the door it makes me feel they care as they’ve taken their time out for me- we shouldn’t be in such a rush as a society! Keep doing it OP

Basically this. Or "it's a bad night,don't worry about standing you'll let the heat out"

My granny used to do it until we were the full wat round her square was so nice

I really hate it if people come out to wave me off-I need to sort out my car stuff etc.

I don't like it. Puts way too much pressure in having to hurry up. Doesn't feel like a nice gesture that they don't want you to leave, but instead making sure you do!

Really disliked it when my kids were little as it just made getting them into their seats much more stressful.

I just don't get the "just stop around the corner to sort stuff out". Why is that not seen as rude? That you are so desperate for them to hurry up, that it's such an inconvenience for you that they should hurry up and pull away even if they have to pull up around the corner.

Peoples views on these so called manners are weird

I agree. I brought my son up to always go to the door when his friends were leaving to say goodbye. Once I visited my sister who I drove 7 hours to see. I stayed a few nights there then got up early to drive back to avoid a traffic problem on the way. I got up, got ready to leave and drove off without anyone coming to say goodbye or wave me off. I felt really sad about it, it came across as if they couldn’t care less about me. I personally think it is rude.

These circumstances are unusual and I would never stand and watch people struggling with kids especially if my presence was adding to the problems. But this scenario was not part of the OP. If hosts and visitors are parting easily, on a friendly basis, I can’t see any harm in waving them off. I was brought up to believe it was rude to shut the door whilst visitors were still on your property, as it looked as if the host was glad to be rid of them.