To think it’s rude not to wave your guests goodbye?

[Pastelbuttercream]

I was brought up to always wave guests goodbye at the door and only shut the front door once they had driven off. This was the norm when I was growing up, everyone did it. If they were not parked near your house you’d walk to their car and wave them off there.

The amount of people who do not do this anymore surprises me. I always feel it’s rude but maybe I am out of touch?

If you don’t wave your guests off, why not? (besides having to close the door incase your toddler runs out, this I completely understand!)

Am I old fashioned? Is this not a thing anymore?

Oh, I was also brought up like this and I'm not old! I have picked up on people not liking it much for all the reasons people have outlined here, which I totally get, and my house is tricky to get out of and into the road and I don't want people to feel watched so I rarely do a full wait now, but I do like a good door wave for a little bit!

I usually make my (unnecessary) excuses as they leave saying something like "I won't stand over you as you leave but lovely to see you!" or "are you OK getting out or would you like a hand?" and we then do a little dance where they sing something like, "no, don't stand on the doorstep getting cold!" and we all part having observed the social niceties and acknowledging that we all know we were brought up to know it's polite to wave off but are all agreeing to dispense with the tradition. It's mad, really, but I do like the ritual!

How come? What’s surprising?

Especially when leaving in laws or parents 😂 You would think they would know how to get home.

God, this is a great story!

Unless you are going on a long journey to a place you haven't been to before there's no need for drinks and satnavs.
Most journeys aren't long drives into the unknown.

I’ll wave at the door but no way am I walking them to their car, unless I wanted to continue to chat or it was on the way to the shops or something.

No I walk them to the door, say thank you for coming and then as they walk off I shut the door.

I remember my great grandmother doing a really performative version of this, with handkerchiefs and weeping! She was great fun really, but she made a big fuss of goodbyes. I hadn't thought about it recently, but I suppose it is quite old fashioned!

I do. Not only do I wave them off, I run down the road around 20 yards from the driveway, waving til they disappear from the end of the road and turn onto the main road! 👋

Perhaps I should stop.

I think it's more of a parents who love you thing. Parents who've enjoyed your visit, are sad that you're going, and who want to make the visit last until the last seconds.

No I hate it. My Mother In Law was one for doing this and even worse waved a white handkerchief until we could no longer see her in the rear view mirror. 🙄

... and rather than recognising that, @Lou670 just rolled her eyes. I hope my kids and their partners don't.

Very old fashioned, my grandparents are the only people I knew who ever did this.
I would absolutely hate it now, I get in the car and sometimes check my messages, set my sat nav, out the right music on, it can be a couple of minutes before I drive away. It would be very uncomfortable if someone was stood waving me off for that time.

I'm not a confident driver and live over an hour away from my family. It's a long journey for me to focus on but too short to stop. I feel much calmer and relaxed driving if I know I won't be pestered for water or suddenly forget where I'm going. This is just me though, I understand that some people just hop in the car and are off with no drama.

I use my satnav on most journeys, it alerts me if there's traffic on the usual route or a collision etc. Twice in the last week, it's warned me about congestion and redirected me to save me time on my journey. A few weeks ago there was an unexpected road closure (storm damage or sorts I think) and the diversion hadn't been set up as I drove through. Luckily I had satnav running so I was directed home without issue.

Oh heck, no. I hate people standing there for ages. It makes me feel really rushed. In some cases I have driven half a mile down the road, stopped, and sorted myself out before heading off properly.

My relatives used to do this. It always felt as though I was being seen off the premises! It was also embarrassing as they would come out to my car with me and give advice on how to pack it if I'd got presents or things to take with me. And comment on dog bed etc on the back seat and dog harness etc. And then once dog was fastened in and settled, say bye again to the dog... It was endless.
We had to do it if we had visitors too, growing up. I hated the standing on the doorstep in all weathers, watching people getting into their car and so on.

Same.

I love my mum and I understand that it´s important to her. But she even does this when I / we take the bus. So she stands at the bus stop doing her whole elaborate goodbye (wave-y, gesticulating, making a heart shape, air kisses etc.) and even nowadays it makes me feel so incredibly self-conscious 😅

And then I feel guilty because I don´t want to have emotions one might describe as shame or embarassment because she means well.
And because it seems incredibly silly to still be embarassed at my age... But I just am 😅🙈

I remember as a kid when we were driving away from somewhere and being waved off, for some reason I used to say I was going to wave until we got home. Obviously, I never actually did. 😄

You run after the car?

How lazy. I was brought up to get inside the car with them to make sure they are home safe and sound and then make my own way home.

I sometimes do it in the warm weather but I'm buggered if I'm standing at my open door while I'm freezing.

It is a tradition in the Balkan countries

What does it signify? I think I’d feel they were cleaning their doorstep 🙁

I' m really surprised at the number of people who have to ,sort out their sat nav and give the kids drinks before they set off!
Is it not just an illustration that after enjoying someone's company they've got little things they want to do in the car to set off rather than feeling they've got to switch the engine on and leave because people are standing in the doorway waiting for them to go?

I'm more surprised how many people have said they think guests should hint or tell hosts not to stand at the door. There's a big middle ground between rudely shutting the door the second someone's back is turned and standing there watching the car whilst someone checks their messages, turns sat nav on, chooses their music or other small tasks just to wave them down the road.

Cars used to be a lot less reliable. People commonly carried jump leads, or needed a push sometimes. So waiting until their car started kind of made sense - they weren't reliably on their way until that happened.

Otherwise, if there was a problem, they'd have to come and knock on your door for help - but that would feel odd, because they'd 'left' and you'd moved on to your next activity.

My dog loves nipping out the door when im standing with it open, as all my guests well understand and no one would bat an eyelid if i shut the door.

Its not rudeness. There are heaps of reasons why people do things. To keep the warm in. To calm kids down. Just say a nice goodbye then let people be on their way and sort their car out before they drive off. People on this site who are so self righteous about rudeness often dont consider that their ridiculous or old fashioned habits make other people uncomfortable.

Don't be sad, it's just not really a "love shone through" moment. A big hug before they leave is worth a lot more than waving someone off at the doorstep whilst they're trying to make sure everything's ready.