To think it’s rude not to wave your guests goodbye?

[Pastelbuttercream]

I was brought up to always wave guests goodbye at the door and only shut the front door once they had driven off. This was the norm when I was growing up, everyone did it. If they were not parked near your house you’d walk to their car and wave them off there.

The amount of people who do not do this anymore surprises me. I always feel it’s rude but maybe I am out of touch?

If you don’t wave your guests off, why not? (besides having to close the door incase your toddler runs out, this I completely understand!)

Am I old fashioned? Is this not a thing anymore?

I was brought up in a family that always does this, and my parents still do. I have come to the conclusion over the years that it isn't the done thing any more, but I still feel very rude not seeing guests off at the door.
In a similar way, if I'm driving after a night out, I always wait and make sure the person is inside their house before I drive away - yet most of my friends think that's weird and just drop and go!

We will take people to the door, say goodbye and wait until they reach their car, giving them a final wave.
I don't wait until til they drive off as often people need to set their satnav and music before they go and it feels a bit awkward.

My guests just see themselves out 😂

We didn't really have guests when we were young, we weren't really home much at all to have any, so no "norm" for me to base anything on.

Fascinated by not want to be watched setting up all the stuff but then not really into audio books just turn on the radio.
I've always gone out and walked to the car and had this done to me when come for lunch and not gone till after teatime. But I'm talking not weekly visits but people who live some way away. Dropped in impromptu the other week for about an hour on an ex-neighbour, wouldn't have expected her to wait at the door or come to the car.

How modern..

You can always drive out of view of their house, pull the car in, and then do your faffing.

I appreciate people who wave me off, and stand there and watch until I've gone.

It shows they value your visit and safety.

It's old fashioned the only person who still does it is my 87 year old nana but I have to admit I do think its cute and will likely do it when I'm a gran.

I live in the Southern US. We still do it here. Extra points if it's six in the morning and you are still in your night clothes clutching a cup of coffee. If your guests need time to mess about with their phones, radio, GPS, etc., you just keep waving at them until they are gone. Oh, and you and they loudly shout "Love you!" until they are out of sight.

But you don't value their safety if you are happy for them to leave a safe drive and go and faff elsewhere, most likely on the side of a road.

Much higher risk of something happening faffing about on the side of the road than the ten steps walk to their car.

Sometimes ‘old fashioned’ is the way to go.

We had some friends for dinner on Saturday night, they left about 11pm. They had parked on our drive.

We walked them to the door, saw them out, they got in their car, waved at us, us and them, and drove off. We went back in as their car was pulling away from the drive (they were on the main road at this point).

There was no tooting of horns or alcohol induced loud laughing btw. It took minutes if that. We’d hugged indoors before opening the door anyways.

I also wait to see people close their front doors if I drop them home.

What a shame this is thought outdated and just something old people do.

I agree.

I often think this too @JudgeJ . And like you; only 1 of them stands to wave me off now.

Nah, I'm not going to fuck about driving around the corner just to appease some made up social convention. With kids etc as well and sorting out child seats that's hardly an option in any case.

Just say goodbye at the door and show your appreciation of their visit at that point. Job done.

It depends on the temperature outside! I still remember my Grandparents saying 'pound notes out' whenever I stood with the door open.

I don't like it when people do this. I appreciate the sentiment, but if I have a long (or even a moderately long) drive ahead of me I want to get settled in the car, sort my playlist out, sometimes I need to text DH or whatever. If someone's standing there waving I feel like I have to drive off straight away so as not to keep them standing about.

I think it's a generational thing. My MIL does it, so does an older relative of mine. I appreciate the sentiment and I'd never hurt their feelings by asking them to stop, but I'd rather people just shut the door once goodbyes have been said.

I'm a waver and a car faffer, so worst of both worlds! A good compromise is probably for the guest to wave as soon as they get in the car, then break eye contact to complete their faffing ritual. The host can then wave you off and hopefully won't feel obligated to hang about until you've pulled away.

If I have to stand in the doorway too long, it just feels awkward and performative. Plus, I get the feeling that the longer I wait, the less I look like a polite hostess and the more I look like I'm making sure they go away. 😂

We used to always do it but then you have people who are messing with their phone (fair enough for directions, checking messages etc) or a child is getting upset/ won’t put car seat on etc and you’re trying not to make them feel uncomfortable and by the end of it everyone is just embarrassed 😅😅😅

@Rumpunch1 Exactly the same here, if I drop someone off I wait till I've seen them "safely" inside. Also, in the days before mobile phones if me or my sister had been out together or visited each others houses and one of us had driven home alone late at night, the one who was driving did "three rings" of the home landline to let the other know she'd got home safely. Trouble is, by the time I got home I'd often forget to give my sister "three rings" and she'd have to phone me, usually after I'd gone to bed, to check I'd got home safely and hadn't broken down or anything. People would think we were crazy these days!

I don't do it because I hate it being done to me. I like to decompress and get myself set up for the journey before setting off. Faff around with the sat nav, set up a music playlist etc.

I always feel under pressure to get moving asap or I feel guilty that people are stood in the cold with plastered on fake smiles and aching waving arms. I often end up just driving around the corner out of site and stopping so I can get myself settled.

I do this! When guests leave I stand at the front door and wave them off. Not for everyone - my mum, DCs.
I didn't realise it was old-fashioned ...?! But I've heard that the 'wave goodbye' evolved from a 'come-back' gesture in ancient times -- as in, we will see each other again.
If that's true, I find it rather charming that I'm practising an ancient tradition LOL. 👋

OP I too was bought up to do this. Although I don’t walk others directly to their car most of the time I will stand outside and wave 👋 till they are out of sight.

I grew up to do the same. Were you a 70s kiddie like me?

Say goodbye at the door and wave. Anything else is very 1950's. I'd hate people to walk to may car and watch as I faff.

My mum who is mid 60s does this. I love it. I also do it when she leaves mine.

Our family have always done this. I feel that to close the door and not wave goodby is somehow rude and gives off vibes of ‘I’m glad you’ve left ‘. Waving them off at the door gives the message that you have enjoyed having the guests over. At least that is what I was taught. But each to her own.

Used to do this for people who had traveled to see us, not for someone local who had popped in. Not so much nowadays as it makes me cold and triggers Raynauds. Close family I will still often wave from a window (unless they are obviously going to be a bit of time with music etc).