To not buy into 'work family' bollocks

[Gweither]

Does your workplace describe itself as a 'work family'? Do you subscribe to this kind of thing?

I ask because my work does and up until recently I was all for it and felt it was a bit of a family of sorts.

But I've had my eyes opened to various things in the work environment in past couple of months that I won't give loads of detail on in case outing (politics, people being sidelined, a few people being managed out of the business)

Last year they had us all open our hearts and make ourselves vulnerable in the name of team bonding and work family at an away day. Heard some really difficult personal stories from colleagues. Part of me wishes we'd not all had to go to that vulnerable place knowing what I know now.

Maybe IABU and this is a standard part of work culture these days?

It absolutely is not my family and the less they know about me the better. My job is not Holby City where they are all besties

I actually think management do this to see who won’t play along with their bullshit. So they don’t REALLY expect you to buy into it, but they WILL be watching for signs of dissent.

You sound like a charmer. I'm glad I've never worked with you!

I declined a job even though it was the best offer pay wise that described itself as such. Glad I did because turns out the place was extremely toxic!

"Making yourself vulnerable" at work is extremely unwise. Someone will always be happy to use it against you at a later date and you might end up losing your job. I never lose my income if I "make myself vulnerable" to family. And that's the difference.

I think this 'work family' bollocks is manipulative and toxic, they'd get rid snd make you redundant in a heartbeat.

Hear hear.
I've never shared anything personal or about my home life at work and I don't intend to start now.
Work is work, home is home.

''Could and'' I expect.

all of that stuff is just complete bullshit to try and get you to buy into working harder for them for probably no more money. The basic relationship is employer-employee and it can never be a family because an employer always has power over you. an employer will have no guilt or no shame over firing you soon as they don’t need you anymore or if you become a burden to them. I have never bought into that bullshit. Then again…. I’m not that successful in my career so maybe you should.

Nothing like a restructuring and planned redundancies to show you that everyone will plot to ensure others are made redundant and not them, and yep everyone has their own back and no one else’s. Oh, and your employer is taking care of the organisation, not you.

My boss peddles the work family vibe and gets offended if you seek advice from anyone but him. Says he would be accused of not looking after his team. I am very much the sort to keep my work at work. I don't make close friends with my colleagues nor do I socialise with them.

My boss organised team picnics last summer and I did my best to swap shifts or rest days to get out of them. I'm polite and do my best to get along with my colleagues but that's it.

Thing is, if any of us did something wrong he'd be the first to toe the company line and discipline you.

I think it's a vaguely unpleasant management style to be honest.

Oh and I bring a fake version of myself to work because if I brought a genuine version (my opinions don't match the code of conduct, shall we say) I'd probably get the sack.

Thankfully not. I work with people who are a pleasure to work with, get the job done, don't drop people in it, but they are work colleagues not friends. Also they respect my wish (and maybe others) to keep work and home life separate.

We're like a family here is the biggest red flag when it comes to work.

They are my employer not my family and I certainly wouldn't be opening up and being vulnerable to any of them - why give people the rope to hang you with?

I work for the local authority and there was a whole thing a while back when they were trying to make like we didn't need pay-rises and were extolling the benefits of working for them and referring to everyone being 'family'.

It was shot down so fast. People were furious. Basically the consensus was 'we are not family, we come to work to earn to feed our actual family so just pay us what we are worth'.

It was fun to watch.

Can confirm!😏

I work in a busy community mental health team. The family idea is sort of a coping strategy as we are all over worked and miserable (at least one person in tears each day) but it also quickly becomes toxic. Lots of bitching as people feel personally let down by colleagues etc. I try and stay out of it all now despite it going against my natural instinct to want to form close relationships with people wherever they are (my issue!)

Na, work is work and you can create a good culture without all that crap.
Our previous HR team was pushing for those workshops where you have to share personal experiences too, I absolutely hated it. I always shared the most boring thing I could think of, or said I didn't have a relevant example.

Is it a OMB? Family businesses are the worst for fucking you over when it suits them.

That’s why they try to perpetuate this bullshit.

The last place I worked at that described itself as a work family went bust due to the owners ridiculous personal spending and fraud.

Where I am now is like a family and is very easy to work for but as the person I replaced went to jail for embezzlement due to over trusting nature of the organisation, I try to keep everything above board, in writing and professional. Which they like and in turn give me more freedom and trust.

It is pure manipulation to pressure you into accepting poor pay, conditions and processes.

I would refuse to go to these bizarre 'vulnerability' workshops. Completely inappropriate.

Thank fuck I'm self-employed.

Must be that annoying person who sits in the corner coughing and sniffling all day

Mine did exactly that after I foolishly made myself vulnerable. Never again!

Worked in the NHS for a long time, got bullied,sexually harassed and manipulated regularly. After Covid had a massive breakdown. I went to work in a private hospital which barely paid above minimum wage (qualified HCP). It was a repeat performance of what I’d experienced in the nhs except they kept referring to themselves as a work family. It was a family you see on Jerry Springer. Hideous manipulation and continued lies.

Nope, I'm friendly, professional and helpful. But I'm at work. And I now quite brazenly say 'I don't enjoy socialising' with a smile to everything. But happily buy cards and presents.

I agree with pp, it's manipulative bullshit. Our organisation says the right things and I think genuinely believes them (or believes that it believes them...) but the organisation will always come first. If you become in anyway inconvenient, off you go (albeit painfully slowly sometimes because it's public sector)