SAHM

[VGoghsEar]

To think most women would prefer to be a SAHM given the choice. I don't know of anyone IRL that would choose to work if they didn't have to.

I would still do my job if I won the lottery. My passive income pays more than my job so I do my job because I like it.

I would have been happier doing the job I do now than being a stay at home mum (which I was for 12 years) but only if I didn't have to deal with the kids at the end of the day which kind of means I'm a bit all or nothing. It's not the job or the kids I would t like, it's the juggling.

Urghh no - I worked hard for this career and like to feel I am contributing to society.

If I won the lottery? I'd probably do charity work instead.

I was a SAHM for 12+ years and have been working for a few years now. I much preferred being a SAHM. Once the kids were all in school, I did lots of things. I volunteered at my kids school, I helped out one morning a week at a charity, I took a language class, I did online cooking classes etc. I was never bored.

I found life so much easier. I could go to every performance or sports day without a thought, I had plenty of time to take the kids tonvisit relatives in holidays (we live in a different country to our families), we didn’t have to worry about after school clubs and who was doing drop off, pick up etc.

Now, both DH and I are stressed and exhausted all the time and I wonder if the extra cash is worth the negative effect it’s having on our family. Every day, one of us is working in the evening cos we’ve had to leave early to take a kid somewhere. We hardly see our extended families. I’ve seen my DM twice in 12 months. I dread every Monday and count down the minutes until the end of my working week.

I'd work 4 days and would want my partner to do the same in an ideal world.

I'd absolutely hate to have no money of my own. I'd have to buy my husband's birthday present with his wages!

I'd hate to think of activities to fill every single day for the children.

Omg doing most of the housework and cooking - no thanks!

No work friends and social life. Getting further and further out of touch with my profession and losing confidence.

I think it depends on the job, a minimum wage job that's got managers talking to you like dirt, is stressful and unfulfilling then yes most people would probably prefer to be at home.
A meaningful career that someone always dreamed of doing and has worked hard for and enjoys which pays them well and gives them a good standard of life is very different.

No but I'd pay for part time childcare to get time to myself and I'd pay for cleaners and cooks!

Oh God how smug.

A lot don’t ! They use nursery and have a cleaner 🤔

Jesus no! I'd absolutely hate it. I've actually just gone back full time after being part time for 4 years. I don't need the money but I hate doing school runs, dinners and all the other mundane tasks that I end up doing whilst part time so I much prefer to be in work.

Me too. At least I've chosen to work for the past few years and I didn't have to.

Not at my current job, but I'd definitely be paying for some childcare & a cleaner so I could volunteer with rescue animals.

I could technically afford to be a SAHM (as my wages after tax etc aren't much more than childcare) but working gives me some space, a pension & an identify outside "mama". I adore DS but I'm a far better mum when I've had a chance to miss him a bit. I appreciate him more & I have more patience.

I was a SAHM for 9 years, and I absolutely loved it. My youngest has additional needs & needs me always around for afterschool, weekends , holidays etc, so it was hard to get back to work as he wouldn't have done well with childcare. However, financially I needed to be bringing in an income.
So I set up my own business that only operates term time, within school hours. While I love what I do, it's very full on, and throw in all the additional appointments & therapies my son needs to attend, means I never have a minute.
I would give it up in a heartbeat if I could afford to. I miss the days of been a full time SAHM & been available whenever my child needed me. I definitely am not giving my children 100% anymore & I feel guilty for that. Always distracted, always rushing!
I always intended on returning to my career when the kids started school, but that's not possible.
So I'm stuck working (all be it part time) for the foreseeable.

when my children were small i was desperate to stay home. Then as they got older i got over it. Now they are teens I really feel they would be better off with one of us at home with homework and clubs. Sadly we cannot afford that.

if we came into enough money to do it, id quit in a heartbeat and look for a work from home job.

I would choose to work every time. I love my children but I would go crazy being home with them all day every day

I would rather sit on a cactus than be at home.

I choose work.
I choose holidays.
I choose sleep.
I choose no mess.
I choose no responsibility.
I choose not to have kids.
I choose me me me.

I loved having 10 months at home with my little girl but I was so excited to get back to Uni! I still get to spend alot of time with her but I also get to do something that is intellectually stimulating and challenging so I get the best of both worlds! And I do want to work PT at least until shes in school I couldnt just be at home all the time.

Is working but having a SAHD available as an option?

I always thought I'd love to, but was the higher earner and we couldn't afford me to not work. As it turned out with our first, I am not remotely well suited to day in day out stay at home with hyperactive child (pandemic hit at 12 months). Our second is a very different character, and I could happily stay at home with her, getting things done and playing. Still can't afford to!

I don't understand how this could be true. You still have to do all the mum stuff AND work.

I work FT myself and know that it's the right thing to do for long term security etc. But do I think it's "easier" than not working? No way!!!

I would have preferred to work if we could have afforded childcare that wasn’t too stressful. But watching friends skimping at work and at home, rushing back to meet pick up times, then working till midnight at home, panicking over who was going to stay home when their child was sick, stressing over holiday clubs etc. seemed like the worst of all worlds. Especially as it was, despite everything, always the women that ended up doing the majority of the compromising.

What I really wanted was what my husband had - a loving parent at home picking up all the slack while I focused on my career and still got to have weekends and some evenings doing the fun stuff.

I'd have own thing if I was a SAHM again just don't want it to be work.

I loved being a SAHM while my children were small but I know plenty of women who wouldn't have wanted to do it. Some people do actually like their work and earnings!

Worked all my life until I had Dd a little later (infertility, not choice) stayed mainly at home with Dd until 5, some of the hardest, but best days of my life, I wouldn’t change it for the world.
If I didn’t have to work, I wouldn’t and if I won the lottery, I’d travel lots and study and enjoy my life.