Leaving 13 year old at home with 3 year old for 2hours during the day

[youmeat6]

Well that, 13 year old is mature and can be trusted to stay home alone for a few hours, would it be unreasonable to leave the 3 year old with him for 2 hours? My parents live a few doors down.

Would like outside opinions.

https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/deaths/adhocs/1438deathsduetoandinvolvingchokingbysexandagegroupenglandandwales2018to2022

Christ no, and I'm the parent of an extremely responsible and great with kids dd14. Leave him on his own and send 3 yo to your parents down the road

can't believe you were OK with your 13yo son being responsible for 3 under 6!!

I was! As was their mother.

Not quite under 6 (eldest was early 7) but yes, pretty much that!

He's reliable & focused, I'd be fine with him after cousins like this whereas as I said in my follow up post I would be less so if they were his own siblings.

There's just a different locus of concentration.

He did great

And although it's a long time ago now, I babysat from 12, including a baby. No-one would do that now, of course, and I was pretty ill-equipped to cope if there was a crisis. My own kids are far more aware & capable. And have access to a mobile phone & immediate contact with an adult.

13 yo alone potentially

What do you mean, potentially? 😂

That’s shocking.

Don't be silly.

He was fine. Everyone was happy. There was plenty of back up (a secluded housing estate in Dublin with neighbours nearby)

I guess you have to know your children and the situation. As I said, I wouldn't be doing the same if they siblings, only because in your home comfort it's easier to be lax. He was doing a job & knew it.

Jesus Christ that's just nuts! Totally insane and no it doesn't depend on the dynamics of the the situation...

You're welcome to your opinion but I can assure you it really was fine.

It's also not out of the norm where I am - Dublin - and with people I know.

It really does depend on dynamics, relationships & roles (to an extent). Away from this point, it's why I won't leave my nearly 15 yo and nearly 13 yo together alone for very long - too much scope for stupid behaviour, whereas individually or with their older sibling alone, they are responsible & sensible.

Like I say, I'd be far more cautious about a 13 yo sibling with a 3 yo sibling.

I think it's fine aslong as 13 year old is mature.
13 year old has a phone
Grandparents are in (because they live a few doors down) and able to come immediately if there is a problem.
and the rule is no eating for the 3 year old

Me too, though I appreciate things are different!

The people I babysat for were crazily casual, often no contact details and left me babysitting for far too long at one time.

It very much depends on the child. I wouldn't worry about my dd13 looking after her younger cousin as I know she's sensible and can handle them.

I’m a hypocrite as I was babysitting babies and toddlers at that age.

but….. I’d not leave my kids with a 13 year old babysitter!

Your the parent not the teenager.

It depends on the child - some 13 year olds are more capable/responsible/insert other relevant verbs than others.

Of course it’s high bar but so is every potential serious issue in life. It doesn’t mean you take the risk hoping it won’t happen. Why would you consider putting children at risk? I just cannot see the logic.

I was babysitting other people's children at 13 - if the 13 year old is sensible, the 3 year old listens to them, and a parent can get back quickly if needed then I don't see why not. My DD is 13 now and is asking to babysit her 6 year old brother (because she wants to earn some money for her class trip next month) so we'll be going out for dinner some time soon to let her.

Just because you did it doesn't mean it's a good idea.

Absolutely not

I wonder why attitudes have changed so much in such a short space of time.

It was perfectly normal even in the noughties for 13 year olds to babysit - often for money too.

It’s interesting how many people have said hell no to a 13 year old but yes at 16 years old. Would a 16 year old know what to do if the child was choking? Or fell out of the window? Probably not, and the repercussions to these events would be just as traumatising to a 16 y/o as a 13 y/o.

Given the circumstances with GP and DM nearby, presuming 13 y/o has a phone and is sensible enough to take basic instructions I really don’t see what the problem is, as a one off. There is always going to be worst case scenario stories but the likelihood is they will sit in the living room for 2 hours and no harm will come.

People take risks all the time, everytime you get into a car, drink alcohol or catch a plane there is a tiny risk something awful might happen doesn't stop most of us doing those things. It would almost certainly be good for the mother to have some child free time, good for the 13yo to have some responsibility and better for the 3yo to be played with at home and spend quality time with their sibling than being dragged along with the mother. To me those benefits outweigh the infinitesimal risk of a disaster.

Absolutely not

Nooo.
My personal age-limits are:

Child under 3: babysitters who are also parents.
Child under 5: babysitter 18+
child 6-10: babysitter 16+
child 11-12: Home alone up to 4h
child 13-15: Home alone daytime.
child 16+ Home alone overnight.

That's a lot of responsibility for a 13yo if something goes wrong. They might be OK if everything goes fine but what if th child hurts themselves or has a medical emergency, would they know what to do and be calm enough to deal with it?

Agree

Lots of grown adults would panic and likely wouldn't know what to do in many emergency scenarios.

Some stuff on why risk taking is important.