AIBU - Etiquette disembarking plane

[planeetiquette]

I recently flew into LA, the flight was jam packed and the overhead lockers filled up quickly so the flight attendants took bags off people and put them wherever they could find space in the lockers.

I was in an aisle seat, and had a connecting flight, so when the seatbelt sign went off I stood up like everyone else, got my carry on out of the overhead locker and waited to disembark.

That's when an American lady from the row in front of me turned to me and said she needed to get past me to get to her luggage and then bring it backto her place in the queue.

I said sorry, that's not going to work as the aisle is really narrow and filled with luggage right now, it'd be best if you sat down and waited until some people have disembarked so there's more space.

She got angry and said "Fine, if you don't move I'm going to BLOCK the aisle. We'll get the flight attendants involved"

It wasn't just her, there was also a group of men in front who needed their luggage from the back of the plane as well and they backed her up (!)

After such a long flight I was over it, and said in my most calm but firm voice:

"Guys, waiting is a fact of life, you're just going to have to sit and wait.

"Your luggage is down the back of the plane. I'm sorry but that's not my fault. This is a very narrow space and I don't know what you want me to do."

In the end the flight attendants never got involved, as someone behind me passed luggage over my head to the lady and the men.

At the time I thought I was in the right (I fly a lot for work). But the more I think about it, is that just how they do it in the US? If you're "ahead" in the rows, you retain the right to get off first even if you're not prepared? If that's the case, I understand why she was angry.

I am another who just doesn't understand why you just didn't move back into your seat space to let her past, then you could move even further forward into what had been her space once she's past. She is then no longer your problem and it's up to the people behind for her onward movement.
A bit of cooperation usually makes these situations more pleasant, hence I guess others helping out to pass her bags forward. Why didn't you help with this, hand them forward, rather than moan about them being passed over your head?

When in Rome…as the saying goes.

Sorry, I just want to be clear about something. What I am asking is is it normal in the US for people to hold onto their place in the queue to get off the plane, and that takes precedence, as this lady wanted to do, vs. the majority of other flights I've experienced where it's been more first come first served.

I am not claiming that I acted perfectly in the moment. I was tired and strung out. Obviously I wish I'd been more zen about the whole thing. But I think my behaviour was still ultimately reasonable and actually quite calm and measured considering how aggro she was being.

I’m with you, OP, insofar as it’s not normally practical for people to move to collect cabin bags; in my experience there are just too many people in the aisles. I do think it’s tricky though when cabin crew have separated people from their bags due to lack of space. I guess the acid test is If they’d moved your cabin bag, would you have been happy to wait until everyone else had disembarked before collecting it? I suspect not — especially as you had a connecting flight. If I were in the other woman’s shoes, I’d have probably tried to get someone to pass me my bag too.

(I realise this doesn’t answer your question!)

They can be. I have a 45-minute connection time for an upcoming flight.

In this hypothetical - I think I would have spoken to flight attendants and flagged that I had a tight connection and relied on them. I wouldn't try to go backwards down a plane with lots of people waiting with their luggage in a narrow aisle, for me that's just asking for trouble.

What I am asking is is it normal in the US for people to hold onto their place in the queue to get off the plane

Yes, in the US this is normal in this situation where you have been forcibly parted from a carry on bag.

But ultimately you were the one with the biggest problem in that she was between you and the exit between you and getting your connecting flight.

So you can ask her to move and let you out but she can also say no. Again, a full sentence.

Or you could have cooperated and let her past you and if she somehow made it to her bag and back to her space before the door opened you would be no worse off indeed better than you would be if she was still there refusing to move.

Or she would still be trying to get her bag when the door open in which case you would be exited and on your way to get your connection before she came back.

If this was a US site I would be voting you are the asshole.

I think the point people are making is that this is not a USA v the rest of the world thing. There is no established etiquette which is why people are pointing out the numerous things you could have done differently. So they are answering your question. You’d all been on the plane for the same amount of time and you chose to stop this lady getting access to her luggage. I’m not surprised she was a bit aggy with you.

I think the correct thing to do would have been to try and let her get past you to collect her bag, but if the plane had already started disembarking as she was making her way back, I wouldn't have waited for her to get back to her original position in front of you.

@viques I'd have done the same

Or stepped back into my seat, inwardly rolled my eyes and allowed other people to argue about it if they wished

I'm disabled.

They always make me get off last.

I have travelled in the US and elsewhere in the world. It always seems to be the case that everyone jumps up and starts getting cases etc as soon as the seatbelts sign goes off.

Often people pass cases down the plane (I don't like them over my head either) or I have also seen people try to squeeze back to get them.

Often the queue is ok with people moving to get cases.

Cabin crew always get my stuff down and usually carry it to the assistance staff.

Can recommend assistance if you qualify for it by the way - they usually take you by crew gates etc so no hour long queues or missing connections.

My wheelchair once did go temporarily missing for 40 mins though.

@planeetiquette i really don’t understand why you just didn’t let her pass and then continue on. You say it was tight etc but who died and made lord of the plane and the person who decides whether someone can fit through the aisle. If she wanted to go you should have let her and then she would be the next person’s problem.

Because I didn't want her touching me and being squished for no reason?

@planeetiquette if you don't like being touched, don't stand in the aisle to disembark!!

Sit yourself down and wait for the plane to empty!

I didn't want to be touched, so I stood in the aisle

Do you not fly much?

YABVU OP you should have just let her through. The likelihood is she'd have gotten stuck at the back which benefits you anyway as there'd be one less person in front of you.
You missed an opportunity here

@planeetiquette last year about 10 flights, this year so far 4?

Is that much?

I think so, but you're obviously plane etiquette police and as good as a pilot in terms of flight hours.

But you are still wrong and condescending and deserved what you got.

@planeetiquette I love the term "being squished" like you were some sort of little insect!

20 min in Qatar, I had to run!

Ok, so you'll know don't normally touch other people (other than the odd elbow jutting out) just going through the aisle.

One thing I do not get is as soon as the plane lands, people unbuckle their belts and get their luggage from the overhead lockers.

I remember one bloke who did that. As he was first on the shuttle bus between plane and terminal - he was the last to get off it. I was about 60-70 places in front of him in passport control as one of the last to leave plane, one of the last to get onto the bus.

Karma for those who are impatient.

I think I would have squeezed as close to the seats as I could to let her get past (and inevitably stuck further down)

This has reminded mw of my favourite plane gripe which is people who put their handbags in the overhead lockers!

With your updates OP, you're definitely being unreasonable. I get you were stressed about making your connection, but being squashed for a few seconds is hardly a major inconvenience.

I wonder if it was how she asked that was the problem, My Dcousins live in US and to me sometimes they sound a bit overly direct and bossy ( one of them in particular ) but I think it's just a cultural thing.