AIBU - Etiquette disembarking plane

[planeetiquette]

I recently flew into LA, the flight was jam packed and the overhead lockers filled up quickly so the flight attendants took bags off people and put them wherever they could find space in the lockers.

I was in an aisle seat, and had a connecting flight, so when the seatbelt sign went off I stood up like everyone else, got my carry on out of the overhead locker and waited to disembark.

That's when an American lady from the row in front of me turned to me and said she needed to get past me to get to her luggage and then bring it backto her place in the queue.

I said sorry, that's not going to work as the aisle is really narrow and filled with luggage right now, it'd be best if you sat down and waited until some people have disembarked so there's more space.

She got angry and said "Fine, if you don't move I'm going to BLOCK the aisle. We'll get the flight attendants involved"

It wasn't just her, there was also a group of men in front who needed their luggage from the back of the plane as well and they backed her up (!)

After such a long flight I was over it, and said in my most calm but firm voice:

"Guys, waiting is a fact of life, you're just going to have to sit and wait.

"Your luggage is down the back of the plane. I'm sorry but that's not my fault. This is a very narrow space and I don't know what you want me to do."

In the end the flight attendants never got involved, as someone behind me passed luggage over my head to the lady and the men.

At the time I thought I was in the right (I fly a lot for work). But the more I think about it, is that just how they do it in the US? If you're "ahead" in the rows, you retain the right to get off first even if you're not prepared? If that's the case, I understand why she was angry.

You have zero place policing how other people move about on a plane. I'm very confused really as to why you created a drama rather than just let her pass by you. If she gets stuck further back it isn't your issue.

Then why are you posting on AIBU and not chat or more relevant section?

She can move however she likes, however unfortunately it was a tight aisle. She wasn't going to fit past without impacting me and my luggage, that was really a her problem.

Why are you seeking opinions of your actions if you’re maintaining you were in the right? You seem very insistent no matter what anyone else thinks.

Transiting through the US can be awful.

I had a a tight connection last week, under an hour to get off a plane, change terminals from one side of an airport to the complete opposite and get to my transatlantic flight. My internal flight was rammed, my luggage was shoved right at the back of the plane.
Others who didn't have connections were getting people to pass their luggage forward, and ignoring that there were people in more need. Mine was too far back. Some people had even tighter connections. It just turned into a free for all, every person out for themselves. I moved myself back row by row, every time there was even a small gap in the aisle until I could get close enough to my bag to call to someone to ask them to get it down for me.

I had to run through the airport and just made it to my flight as they were boarding. It was hideously stressful.

Before anyone says check your luggage in. Bad idea in the US. It goes missing. And makes it slower getting through immigration on arrival. And if you have a tight connection, it doesn't make it, and then they won't let you fly.

As per my OP, I'm asking about US etiquette. Sorry for posting on the wrong board!

Why couldn't you have let her pass you? Once she's passed you you're free to go. I know it's knackering long haul but there's no need to be so mean.

After such a long flight I was over it, and said in my most calm but firm voice:

"Guys, waiting is a fact of life, you're just going to have to sit and wait.

"Your luggage is down the back of the plane. I'm sorry but that's not my fault. This is a very narrow space and I don't know what you want me to do."

This is so cringe worthy OP

You should have let her pass, who do you think you are?

I don’t get why it was any of your business to decide whether her mission to the back of the plane was allowable or not. Ultimately she just wanted to squeeze past you at that moment. If she did end up getting back, with her bag, and managed to get to her seat row before the doors opened then you wouldn’t ultimately have suffered any delay would you? It would be the same wait if her bag had been overhead and she was just waiting ahead of you.

So I think you were really out of line to block her going past you in the aisle. The aisle was narrow? So what! Two people can pass in a plane aisle. You were beside your aisle seat so you could have squished yourself or your bag in for one second to let her past.

You talk about etiquette but you were the one who failed to observe the row order for disembarking from the flight….

Logically there are two options:

1. people whose luggage is near them stay in their seats so that those whose luggage is far away can walk up the aisles to retrieve it. Then everyone gets off in order.

2. (this is what I’ve always seen, as you describe) people get up and stand in the aisle as soon as the belt light is off, to stretch their legs, get their bags from overhead etc. So the people who need to retrieve bags have to wait till most people are off.

I’ve also seen cabin crew retrieve bags for passengers when it’s at the wrong end of the plane, once plane has landed but before the belt signs are off. But this is only possible if it’s just one or two people.

I don’t know whether 1) is more usual on US flights. Were you the only person who got up and stood in the aisle? Were you the only person blocking the way? If so then that suggests it is and you were out of step.

If you weren’t the only person blocking the aisle then why did she only have a beef with you?

Sorry but flying 10+ hours is stressful and uncomfortable enough without people going against the flow in a small space. She had every right to make the request, but I also had every right to refuse to squish myself to make her happy. As they say on Mumsnet all the time, no is a full sentence.

Thanks. Everyone was in the aisle. She had beef with me because I was directly next to her.

But you were blocking the aisle so you were the problem, and you were the one lacking in etiquette.

IMO, people whose luggage is nowhere near them are the ones that should wait and those who are ready to go can leave.

It looks like I'm in the minority though.

Disembarking from trains/planes is a bear garden with no shortage of entitled cheeky fuckers and that's not just the US.

According to the poll 55% agree so you're actually the majority at the moment!

American here. You were the ugly Brit.

But doesn't that depend on how close to the exit door you are? If you are right at the back and only the front door is in use, jumping up ASAP won't make the 23 rows of people who have also jumped up vanish will it?

I have flown to the US, through LAX and various other aiports and taken loads of connecting flights on rare occasions I have missed a connection and the helpful staff have booked me a later one or re-routed me - it's not a big deal.

I am not saying OP was right here, but honestly, some of the planes I have been on in the US, two people cannot pass each other in the aisle. They are tiny. And by the time you take into account the dimensions of a significant proportion of the US population, it is simply not going to happen.

I don't know what the right solution is here. Everyone stands up and grabs their kit if it is near enough, and then exits row by row. Last week, there were people at the back who has put their bags near the front so they could get it as they left, meaning those of us who were later to board had luggage at the back, despite sitting near the front.

The needs of OP and the other passenger were in direct conflict with each other. But even if the OP had let her past, she would have had to repeat the exercise all the way up the plane.

Problem with all this is with the best will and planning in the world sometimes connections get very tight (inbound flight runs late) and additional sometimes if you blow that connection that’s it for the day…not uncommon if the second sector is a Long Haul one.

TBh if somebody with a tight connection has in addition been screwed around by their carry on being moved aft I’d be cutting them a bit of slack.

but honestly, some of the planes I have been on in the US, two people cannot pass each other in the aisle.
Me too but I am pretty sure OP was describing arriving after a 10 hour flight - so on a larger transatlantic plane not a Bombardier CRJ or an Embraer or even a terror tube.

YANBU, I think you were completely in the right.

is that just how they do it in the US?

Yes that is how they do it in the US.
In their view, they aren’t “unprepared” as it is not their fault the air crew put their bag several rows back.